


In The Heat Of The Summer

by DeliciousDanish



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Small Town, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M, No Phantom Thieves, Pegoryu Week 2019, Ryuji owns a cute 3-legged doggo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-04 16:55:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 42,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20474405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeliciousDanish/pseuds/DeliciousDanish
Summary: Summer is Ryuji's least favorite season. Nothing good ever seems to happen to him during the summer. Not even his birthday. If he could find a way to hibernate through the next four months, he would. Instead, he finds himself waking up at a godforsaken hour every morning to go to work, part-time at the local vet clinic. It's not glamorous, but it pays the bills and he's got plenty of them. But he's coping. If he can handle the long days of heat and humidity, and the memories they bring, he'll probably survive long enough to see another fall.At least that was the plan. Life has a funny way of flipping the script.





	1. Party

**Author's Note:**

> Feel like it's been forever  
Since I had my shit together  
I just do what I wanna  
In the heat of the summer  
If I could roll up another  
Baby, I could see in technicolor  
I just do what I gotta  
In the heat of the summer  
-Young The Giant
> 
> ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
> 
> Hello, readers old and new! Some of you may have been wondering where I went. I am still alive and well. I just took a brief hiatus from my other fics to bring you... THIS. My contribution to the 2019 Pegoryu Week! Yaaaaaaaay~ 
> 
> I am an absolute disaster when it comes to writing one-shots, so of course, this ended up being a mini-fic. Each day's prompt will be one chapter of this fic released daily during the event. It's going to be a challenge to tell a story in 7 chapters since I'm a rather long-winded writer, but here we go! 
> 
> This is an AU set in a small town of no specific name. Ryuji and friends grew up in this town together and it's sort of a story of events that take place four years after their high school graduation. As told by our favorite blondie. (And sometimes Akira.) 
> 
> Thank you for stopping in and I hope you'll spend the week with me.

Ryuji tugs at the collar of his shirt. It's three days into summer and already too hot for his liking. He flaps the material, stirring the air in a sad attempt at fanning himself. The air conditioning in the waiting room of the vet clinic has been out for almost a week. Dr. Takemi's too busy to find the time to call a repairman. Everyone's suffering for it, but no one more so than Mrs. Yamaguchi's overweight beagle. The poor beast lies sprawled on its stomach, trying to cool itself on the tile floor.

“He must weigh about forty pounds,” Mishima comments dryly, following Ryuji's gaze towards the dog. The two of them watch as the beagle shifts over onto its side. It's no small effort.

Ryuji shakes his head in disbelief, “He looks like a beached whale.”

“It's kind of sad.”

“Yeah.”

Ryuji glances down at his own dog. She's asleep on her back in her usual place under the reception desk. Her three knobby legs twitch as she dreams, tongue lolling out the side of her mouth. He's amazed that she can sleep in the unbearable warmth.

“Sakamoto, come here,” Takemi's voice from the back room. He stands up from his office chair, favoring his left leg to keep weight off the right. It's been a year since the accident but his leg still hurts. It's something he's learning to live with.

“What's up?” He asks as he enters her office. The air conditioning is running properly in the back and it's an immediate relief. He doesn't mind kennel cleaning duty if it means he can avoid the hot reception room. Instead, she gestures to the twin chairs at the front of her desk.

“Sit down.”

Ryuji hesitates for a heartbeat and then moves into one of the chairs. Without a thought to the action, he begins to bounce his right leg. It hurts, but it gives him something to focus on instead of his nerves. Takemi rarely pulls people into her office. When she does, it's either for something really good or something really bad. The last time someone went into her office with her, they came back out without a job.

“I want to talk to you about your future working here,” Takemi begins in a serious tone. Ryuji's heart begins to sink inside his chest. His mind spins, trying to brace himself for what he's sure will be his termination. “I want you to move into an apprenticeship.”

_What?_

Ryuji stares at her in shock, his eyebrows high on his forehead. “Me? Why me? I just moved up from volunteer to part-time.”

“The clinic needs more techs,” Takemi explains, leaning back in her chair. She crosses one long leg over the other and steeples her fingers together under her jaw.

“But Mishima is your apprentice.”

“Not for long. He's taking his board exam in the fall. Once he's passed, he'll come back with 'Doctor' in front of his name.”

“I haven't had any schooling. I'm not going to know anything,” Ryuji insists. It's not only his lack of veterinary experience. He can't think of anything more unappealing than becoming Takemi's apprentice. The woman is frightening, even on a good day. Ryuji had watched her work Mishima to the bone, and he wasn't about to set himself on the same destructive path. “Look, it's real nice 'n all that you gave me a job here. I like the work I do. I just don't think I'm gonna make a career out of this.”

“Fine. Then you'll be my stand-in for Mishima for the summer. He needs more time to focus on passing his exam anyway.” Dammit. He should have known she wasn't going to let him off that easy. Takemi rises to her feet. “Give me the summer to convince you. If you decide at the end of it that this lifestyle is not for you, I'll let it go.”

“I'm gonna screw it up. You should pick someone else.”

“I'm picking you. Plus,” She pauses for dramatic effect. “It comes with a raise.”

Ryuji pauses at the mention of the extra money. There is no denying that he needs it. He still has a mountain of medical bills to pay off. To say nothing of what he owes his mother. She paid for his rent and groceries for almost six months after the accident.

“How much of a raise?” He hedges.

“For you? It will be double what you're making now.”

He almost chokes. Double? There's no way he can pass that kind of money up.

“What if I decide I don't like it?” He wonders, folding his hands in his lap.

“Obviously you would go back to your regular pay and job.”

“You wouldn't like, fire me, right?”

“I'm not going to fire you for not wanting to continue.”

He thinks about that for a moment, weighing some quick mental pros and cons. He asks, “And if I decide to stay on after summer? As your apprentice.”

“I'll cover your schooling fees.”

It's a generous offer. Definitely more than he deserves. He's about to open his mouth to reply when her cellphone interrupts. She holds up a hand, indicating that their talk isn't over, before answering. Ryuji tunes most of it out, it's a lot of words he doesn't understand anyway. His mind is busy enough trying to unravel the mystery of her sudden offer.

“Get up,” She says suddenly, breaking Ryuji out of his daze. He rises to his feet and stares at her. “I've got to go out to the Okumura property to check on a pregnant mare and you're coming with me.”

“A pregnant _what_?” Ryuji demands but Takemi is already halfway out the door. He rushes to catch up with her, hobbled by his weak leg.

“Horse.”

“You want me to go with you for that? Why not Mishima?”

Takemi sighs in frustration, turning on her heels to face him. “I need Mishima to take care of things here. I told you before, you would be replacing him. If I go on a call, you go with me. If I'm seeing a patient, you go in the room with me. You watch me and you learn. That's how this works.”

“I never said yes,” Ryuji mumbles, avoiding the woman's piercing red eyes. Something about the way she's glaring at him suggests she's made the decision for him. “Okay, let's go see about this... Mare.”

Appeased by his submission, Takemi sweeps out into the lobby. She exchanges a few brief words with Mishima before coming back to collect her medical bag. They step out the back door, it's even hotter outside than it was in the front lobby. He begrudgingly follows her out to the truck. Takemi unlocks the driver's side door and reaches into the back seat. She retrieves a pair of dark blue coveralls that she tosses over the hood at him.

“Trust me, you'll want to put those on,” She says, hinting at all kinds of horrible things. He's not going to argue, he's wearing his favorite scrubs, bright red with a pattern of pink and green geckos. So far they've avoided any kind of permanent staining. If he's not careful that could change. He pulls the bottom half of the coveralls on over his pants, the material is thick and heavy. It's going to be a nightmare in the heat. Using the sleeves he secures the top half at his waist before climbing into the truck.

Takemi puts the car in drive and pulls out onto the street. It's only then that Ryuji wonders what the hell he's getting himself into.

* * *

The Okumura house is a good half hour out of town. The entire thing looks like some kind of fortress. A tall gray cement wall lines the perimeter of the property. The only way in is through a large gate. Takemi pulls the truck up to the front of it and leans out her window towards a speaker box.  
  
A gruff voice greets them and instructs her to, “State your name and business.”  
  
“Dr. Tae Takemi. I'm here to see about one of Okumura's horses,” She says.  
  
There's a pause and then the squeal of metal as the gate begins to glide open. Ryuji gapes at the sight inside. There before them is a long brick driveway leading to the largest house he's ever seen, and it's not alone. He can see three other large buildings along the property line. Are they other houses? Rich people storage sheds? Ryuji has no idea.  
  
“Better wipe the drool off your face,” The doctor coos at him, amused by his shock. He rolls his eyes at her. When she's not looking, he dabs at the corners of his mouth. Just in case. No harm in checking.  
  
They pull off the road a short way from the mansion. There's no clear place to park. The road ends in a big looped driveway at the front entrance of the house. Ryuji can't see any cars parked on it but there is a fancy water fountain at the center. It has three tiers, with bronze statues of dolphins planking the edges of the bottom pool. It's so unnecessary that Ryuji can't even crack a joke about it.  
  
So instead, he asks, “How often do you come out here?”  
  
“Three or four times a month.”  
  
“This place is gigantic.”  
  
“Yes, well, the Okumuras have a lot of money.”  
  
Okumura. The name stirs something in Ryuji's memory, but he can't quite place it.  
  
Takemi leads the way, taking them not towards the house, but around to the back of it. They walk along a winding brick path through a patch of trees. It's hot and dense with humidity despite the shade from the tree cover overhead.  
  
“We're almost there,” Takemi assures him, noticing that he's lagged behind. She gestures to a large building in the distance. As they get closer, the air becomes stale with barn smells. Hay, manure, Ryuji recognizes the scent from Ann's 10th birthday party. Her parents had rented a pony and all the guests took turns being lead around on it. It was where his brief fascination with becoming a cowboy had begun and on the same day ended.  
  
Stampeding the horse through a group of screaming ten-year-olds might have had something to do with it. Ryuji decided not to keep score on that one.  
  
They've almost reached the large open doors when a woman calls out for Takemi. She appears from inside and moves at a brisk jog towards them. Her short curled auburn hair bounces around her face as she moves. It's such a unique color and style that it would be impossible not to recognize it. And Ryuji does. Discomfort forms in the pit of his stomach as her name flares to life inside his memory.  
  
She's Haru Okumura, one of the many childhood friends he hasn't spoken to in over four years.  
  
“Dr. Takemi!” Haru greets Takemi with a radiant smile. It's not hard to see that she's no longer the meek girl she had been in high school. Ryuji can tell by the way she carries herself. It's embarrassing to know that he's gone the opposite way. His life is certainly nothing to be proud of. He turns his face down in the hope she won't recognize him. “Can I get you anything? It's hot out here, isn't it?”  
  
“I'm alright,” Takemi says. She turns to look at Ryuji. “How about you, Sakamoto?”  
  
“I knew it!” Haru says offhand, her voice rising in delight. “Ryuji! It's me, Haru! Do you remember?”  
  
Welp. So much for her not recognizing him.  
  
Ryuji throws a sharp look in Takemi's direction before turning to look at Haru, “Oh yeah. I remember. How're you doin'?”  
  
“I'm good! It's so nice to see you.”  
  
“Yeah, it's cool.”  
  
“So how about that mare?” Takemi intervenes. Maybe she's sensed his discomfort. Whatever the reason, he's grateful. He's not well-known for making good small talk.

The three of them move further into the barn. At the end of a row of stalls is the horse in question, and she's-  
  
“She's huge!” Ryuji takes a step back, surprised by the animal's immense size. “I thought Yamaguchi's beagle was big. This-... This is massive!”  
  
“Well part of it is that she's pregnant,” Takemi says as she steps into the stall. “Hurry up and get in here.”  
  
“Whoa, man. Hold up. I'm not going in there with that thing.”  
  
“Yes, you are. _Now_.”

He knows better than to argue. If he wants to keep his job, he has to do whatever she asks. The horse looks even bigger up close. He keeps close to the wall, skirting around to join Takemi at the back end of it. The doctor is pulling on an extremely long rubber glove. It runs from fingertip to shoulder. He doesn't like where this is going.  
  
“Hand me the clear bottle out of my bag,” She instructs. Ryuji cracks it open and fishes around inside. The bottle is near the bottom of the bag and as he pulls it out, his eyes flick over the label.  
  
“Water-based lubricant-” The words die in his throat as he drops it. “The hell?!”  
  
“Jeeze. You're worse than Mishima. Don't get all flustered over a bottle of lube. Pick it up.”  
  
Ryuji glances from Takemi to Haru and back again. Both women are watching to see what he does next. Haru has the decency to look embarrassed. Takemi on the other hand- If looks could kill, someone would be hammering the nails in on his coffin. He kneels down to fish the bottle out of the straw.  
  
“Be careful she doesn't kick you,” Takemi warns. Ryuji snags hold of the bottle and stands as quickly as his leg will allow.  
  
“Here,” Ryuji offers the bottle and then watches in horror. Takemi dumps a large amount into her hand and then begins spreading it up the length of her entire gloved arm.  
  
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Ryuji backs against the wall, his eyebrows raised in shock. “You're not gonna like, shove your arm in her-...”  
  
“It's the only way to check the foal.”  
  
“Can't you like, x-ray or somethin'?!”  
  
“It's hard to find an x-ray machine big enough,” Haru says with a touch of laughter in her voice. Ryuji considers that for a moment and while he's doing so, Takemi is sticking her arm in-  
  
“I just don't see why you gotta shove your arm in its ass,” His words are half mumbled, but the women still catch them. Haru can't contain herself, she steps back away from the stall in an attempt to hide her laughter. Takemi is less amused.  
  
“Same zip code, different address,” She hisses at him. “Do me a favor and set your hand on her side to keep her steady. If she moves too much it could break my arm.”  
  
“Oh, damn. Okay,” Ryuji's face burns as he places his hands against the horse's side. It's hard not to flinch away when it turns around to look at him. If feels like a smooth-coated dog, so he tries to pretend that that's what it is. “Haru, what's her name?”  
  
“My Fair Lady,” Haru says. She's returned from her laughing fit to come observe. “I call her M'lady, or Lady.”  
  
“What a name.”  
  
“It's her show name. No one actually calls her that outside the ring.”  
  
“She performs?” Ryuji asks.  
  
“Dressage,” Haru says the word like he's supposed to know what it means. He doesn't. He hopes his vacant stare somehow conveys that.  
  
“It's sort of like, ballet for horses. It's a bit hard to explain unless you've seen it. Lady and I have won ribbons though.”  
  
“Ballet for horses, huh?” Ryuji can't imagine what that's supposed to look like. It doesn't sound like something Mr. Okumura would have allowed Haru to do. He was always very particular about her not doing anything that might, 'shame the family name and legacy'. Ryuji hopes that things have changed since then.  
  
“We're all done here,” Takemi says. She's suddenly very close to Ryuji's back. He glances over his shoulder to find her attempting to loom over him, despite her shorter height. She removes the long glove with a snap of the rubber. “Foal is in a good position for the birth. Won't be more than a week or so from now.”  
  
“Happy to hear it,” Mr. Okumura has appeared from down the barn hallway. If he's aged at all in the time since Ryuji last saw him, no one would know it. He looks as smug and rich as he always did. He comes to stand next to Haru, sparing Ryuji a quick glance. He doesn't seem to recognize him. Which is all just as well, Mr. Okumura was never crazy about Haru being friends with 'a delinquent boy'. “Thanks for coming out to look at her.”  
  
“Not a problem,” Takemi says amicably. She doesn't like him either, Ryuji can tell by her curt way of speaking. It's on the border of polite and snarky, balanced between the two in a way that isn't outright obvious. “She should be able to deliver on her own. If there are any problems you can call me.”  
  
Takemi gathers her bag together and begins to follow Mr. Okumura out of the barn. Ryuji hangs back with Haru and the two of them walk slowly so that they can talk. It's hard to believe that it's been four years since they last saw each other.  
  
“I had no idea you lived in a place like this,” Ryuji begins, glancing around the stable. “How are things with your dad?”  
  
“They're better,” Haru looks up to where Takemi is speaking with her father. “I don't actually live here full time. I'm just here to check on Lady. I've got an apartment in town.”  
  
“Oh yeah? That's great.”  
  
“It's definitely helped our relationship. I have so much more freedom now than I did in high school.” There's a brief lull in the conversation and then Haru asks, “How have you been? I heard about the accident.”  
  
“I'm doin' alright,” Ryuji assures her, his lips curling up into a smile. It's an automatic reaction to the mention of his motorcycle accident. He can't fully control it, so he's learned to use it to his advantage.  
  
_Smile like it doesn't bother you. Don't force people to pity you._  
  
“You work for Takemi now?”  
  
“Yeah,” Ryuji shrugs his shoulders and shoves his hands into the pockets of the coveralls. “My mom made me volunteer there after the accident. It was part of my rehabilitation and somethin' to get me out of the house. I stuck around so long that Takemi decided to hire me.”  
  
“Do you like it?”  
  
“Sure, I mean, it's a pretty cool job.”  
  
“Ready to go?” Takemi interrupts their conversation. Ryuji is secretly relieved. His social skills have suffered some over the past few years and it shows.  
  
“Yeah, I'm ready.” He tells her, then turns to say his goodbye to Haru. While it's nice to see her again, it's also a reminder of the past. A past they can never go back to. “See ya later, Haru.”  
  
“Later tonight?” She asks and the question throws him. She clears her throat and then clarifies, “I'm having a party at my apartment. A small gathering of friends. Please come.”  
  
“I-”  
  
“Ryuji. Please?”  
  
He doesn't have a reason to say no. After work, he was planning to go home and sleep. He can't find a good way to spin that plan into an excuse. Without thinking, he moves his head up and down, agreeing. Excitement lights up Haru's entire face and it ends with her arms wrapped around his neck. He flinches, so unused to physical contact. It only makes her hug him tighter.  
  
“Let me give you my number,” He says when she releases him. By the time it's all said and done, he's back in Takemi's truck regretting the whole thing. As they pass through the property gate, his phone chimes with a text notification. It's the address to her apartment and a party start time of 7 pm.  
  
He's got eight hours to prepare himself.  
  
* * *  
  
The clinic is closed by the time Ryuji and Takemi return to it. After leaving the Okumura's they went off on four other farm calls. Each one is worse than the last. Ryuji finds himself kicked by donkeys, spit on by llamas, and attacked by a rogue rooster with a thirst for blood. His arms bare the marks of the craze bird's attack, cut in various places by its sharply spurred feet.  
  
“You look rough,” Mishima says when Ryuji and Takemi return to the clinic. There's an air of amusement to his voice. “The first day of farm calls is always the hardest.”  
  
“Yeah, you're tellin' me,” Ryuji steps out of the truck. His whole body aches, and he can't wait to get home and sink into a hot bath before passing out. He peels out of his coveralls, annoyed that Takemi was right about him needing them. He debates on if he should attempt washing them or if he can barter with her for another pair. The only silver lining is that his scrubs have come out of it unharmed. “She didn't tell me we were goin' all those places.”

“I didn't want to hear you complaining the whole time,” Takemi leers. She opens the back door of the clinic to let herself inside. Mishima gives Ryuji a sympathetic look before following after her. As they enter, Ryuji's dog slips out the back door. She races towards him on her three legs, eyes wide with joy and affection.  
  
“Cappy!” Ryuji cries, kneeling down gingerly. Her nubbed tail wags as best it can, more of a butt wiggle than anything else. He's happy to see her despite his foul mood. She molds herself against his side and stares up at him. He scratches her behind the ears and says, “Let's go home.”  
  
He dips into the clinic to fill out his time card and to grab his backpack. The coveralls get deposited into a trash bag. He's willing to try washing them at least one time. He bids farewell to Mishima and Takemi. They hardly notice him, too busy pouring over the day's patient charts. Ryuji clips Cappy's leash onto her collar and heads out to his car.  
  
It's his mom's Honda, all white and the textbook definition of an old lady car. He hates it, but he wasn't in a position to reject it. It gets him where he needs to go, and he supposes that's all that matters. It's a heavy downgrade from the nice motorcycle he had before. Although that's probably for the best.  
  
Once he's home it occurs to him that he forgot about the party. A quick check of the clock tells him that he's got half an hour before it starts. He doesn't want to go, but he isn't the kind of guy who likes breaking promises. He feeds the dog, showers, and spends the rest of the time trying to decide on what to wear. What kind of party is it? Should he go for casual or dress? In the end, he decides it's too hot to wear something nice. He tugs on a comfortable pair of jeans and a tank top and calls it good enough.  
  
Haru's apartment is at the very edge of town. Outside of nice landscaping, the complex looks like any other. Haru was never the sort to boast about her family's wealth. Her choice in apartments tells him that she hasn't changed. Ryuji finds comfort in it.

He finds a place to park and goes up two flights of stairs to reach apartment 4278. There's soft music coming from inside and the hum of voices. He lifts his hand to knock but stops short.  
  
What the hell is he doing?  
  
He's about to turn tail and run when the door opens of its own accord. When Ryuji glances up, he's shocked beyond belief to see Ann standing before him. As it is with Haru, he hasn't seen her in four years, though they kept up marginally better communication. He can hardly believe that she's back in town and also a little offended that she didn't tell him she was coming.  
  
“Surprise!” She offers, throwing her arms wide. Ryuji steps eagerly into her embrace, and she locks her arms around him.  
  
“What are you doing here?” He asks.  
  
“Helping a friend out with some things. That and Shiho wanted to come home to visit her parents.”  
  
“You didn't tell me.”  
  
“Does the word 'surprise' mean nothing to you?” Ann sweeps her arm towards the doorway to usher him inside. The apartment is two bedrooms, with a fair-sized living room. There's a small set of stairs that leads up to a loft. A good twenty or so guest are milling about.  
  
“You want me to get you a drink?”  
  
Ryuji turns to look at her, already nodding his head. “Yeah, that's cool.”  
  
“Be right back.”  
  
Ryuji steps further into the apartment, keeping to the outside edge of the room. He people-watches while he waits for Ann to return. There's a brief moment where he feels like someone might be watching him. He scans the room to find the culprit, coming up empty. Everyone is too busy chatting to pay him any mind. He shrugs the feeling away.  
  
As soon as it's socially acceptable to leave, he can bailout.  
  
“Rum and coke or cranberry vodka?” Ann offers, strolling towards him with the drinks in hand. Both are horrible options, so he goes with the manlier of the two. Rum and coke it is. “Haru says you came by her father's house today with Takemi.”  
  
“Yeah. She's using me as a fill-in while Mishima studies for his board exam,” Ryuji explains. He leans back against the wall and takes another sip of his drink. He doesn't often drink, so he can feel it affecting him almost right away. The warmth of the alcohol relaxes his tense nerves. He likes that more than he probably should. “She wants me to apprentice.”  
  
“What? That's a huge opportunity! You should do it!”  
  
“I dunno. I haven't been going to school for vet stuff like Mishima. What if I kill a patient or something?”  
  
“You won't,” Ann scolds, jabbing him in the side with her elbow. He grins back at her and it feels natural. Ann was his first friend. He's missed her more than he realized.  
  
“Hey, uh, how come you never visit?”  
  
Ann thinks it over for a moment. “I'm pretty busy with my work. Modeling doesn't leave a lot of room for free time.”  
  
“Okay, then how come you never let me visit?”  
  
“It's complicated, Ryuji.”  
  
“How the hell is it complicated?”  
  
“It just is! Okay?” Ann's voice rises in pitch, catching the attention of some nearby guests. She takes a deep breath to calm herself and says, “Sorry. I'm not trying to start an argument.”  
  
“Could'a fooled me,” Ryuji hisses, tossing back the rest of his drink. Ann stares at him with wide blue eyes. “Shit. Sorry. I don't know why I said that.”  
  
They stand side by side, not saying anything. It's awkward and Ryuji tries to think of a way to fix it. He knew this would happen. He should have stayed home.  
  
“It's okay,” Ann says finally. He can see her shoulders relax out of the corner of his eye. She leans over against him and rests her head against his arm. “How have you been?”  
  
“The same,” He admits because Ann's the only one that he feels he can be fully honest with. “I mean, it's been better since my mom got Cappy for me.”  
  
“You mean the dog you complained about her getting for you?” There's an edge of amusement to her tone. It's a good sign.  
  
“What can I say? She's grown on me.”  
  
“You made it!” Haru prances over to them from the kitchen. She hugs them both before plucking their empty glasses out of their hands.  
  
“I'll get you two another drink. Don't move.”  
  
“We invited Makoto and Futaba too,” Ann says offhand, glancing around the room. “I don't see them yet.”  
  
“Knowing how Futaba is with crowds, they prolly won't show.”  
  
“Is she still pretty bad about it?”  
  
“Not like she used to be, but yeah.” Ryuji can feel sweat forming at the back of his neck, despite the cool atmosphere of the apartment. Talking about Futaba opens the gateway to topics that he'd rather avoid. Ann's been known to bring them up before, and he's hoping she doesn't do it now.

Thank god for small miracles. Haru is returning with their drinks.

“Who are all these people?” Ryuji asks, accepting his glass from her. She glances out over the assembly.  
  
“Acquaintances, kids of my father's business partners,” Haru crosses her arms over her chest. “I couldn't get out of hosting. So I thought I could do the bare minimum and then spend the rest of the time with you guys.”  
  
“We can stay up late partying! Like old times!” Ann enthuses. There's no way in hell that Ryuji is going to stick around for that long. He doesn't want to crush her enthusiasm, so he keeps that thought to himself.  
  
The three of them sequester themselves to the loft to chat. Ann talks about her modeling and Haru talks about working for her family's business. Ryuji chimes in occasionally. He shares funny stories about the clinic's wild array of patients and their owners.

Two drinks turns into three and then four. He ends up having more alcohol than he intended to. So much for leaving early. He can't drive himself home and a taxi is way outside his budget. He resigns himself to being Ann and Haru's bartender while he waits to sober up.  
  
The guests invited by Haru's father begin dwindling off. They stop to make false pleasantries with her before dipping out the door. He hates listening to them pretending to be polite. So to save himself from the madness, he excuses himself to go on another drink run for the girls. Ryuji stumbles upon one of the guests hanging out in the kitchen. He can't help noticing that the guy is annoyingly attractive.

He's wearing an expensive suit. It looks like it might be custom-made, it fits him well. He's styled his thick black hair back and away from his face. It curls at the ends, hinting at a large amount of work and products put in to keep it tamed. He watches Ryuji through starlight colored eyes.

“Do you want anything?” Ryuji offers.  
  
“I'm alright.” The man tells him, leaning back against the kitchen sink. He's kind of weird. A hot weirdo, but a weirdo all the same.  
  
“Okaaay. Well, have a nice time at the party, man.”  
  
Ryuji grabs the glasses and turns to leave. There's a moment of confusion when a nearby wall leaps out in front of him. Or rather, he veers off course and runs into the wall. It's about the same either way. He drops both glasses, and they clatter noisily against the tile flooring. He jerks his head down to see if they've broken, slipping on the spilled juice. His feet shoot out from under him, and he lands on his back. All the air exits his lungs in a rush, and he lies on the floor in a daze.  
  
A face appears above him. It's the hot weird guy. Oh great. The man is speaking, or Ryuji thinks he is. His mouth is moving but there's no sound, only a shrill ringing. Ryuji thinks he might be trying to talk back, but he can't hear his own words. That's annoying. His last thought before the world fades to black.  
  
* * *  
  
Akira wasn't expecting to run into Ryuji at the party. Haru had advertised it to him as a social engagement arranged by her father. It felt rude to try to get out of it. She was nice enough to let him stay in her guest room after all. So he opted for brief appearances and the wearing of a nice suit. With Haru distracted by her guests, he can more or less come and go as he pleases. He can attend the party without 'attending' the party.  
  
With this plan in mind Akira journeys from the guest room to the kitchen to sate his hunger. He helps himself to some food and then chooses an inconspicuous place to sit down in the living room. He has just settled into his seat when he notices an out-of-place man standing on the far side of the room. It's someone he hasn't seen or spoken to for four years. Someone he never intended to see again.  
  
_Ryuji._  
  
At least Akira thinks it's him. Abandoning his food on the edge of a bookshelf, he creeps closer for a better look. If it is Ryuji, then he's bleached his hair. It's a surprising change from the dark black it had once been. He is a bit taller, a bit leaner too. Still fit. He looks tired and dark circles cling to the underside of his eyes. His once sun-kissed skin has gone pale. It vaguely reminds Akira of how Futaba had been after her mother had passed away, a shell of her former self.  
  
Guilt blooms inside his chest. He can tell that Ryuji is going through a rough period. Likely caused the motorcycle accident he had been in the year before. From what Akira knew of it, it had been pretty severe. Ryuji had spent a good deal of time in the hospital recovering. Akira had wanted to visit him but wasn't ever able to muster up the courage. Eventually, so much time had passed that it no longer seemed appropriate. So he stayed away.  
  
Ryuji begins to glance around the room. He can feel that he's being watched. Twice he looks at Akira, but there is no recognition in his eyes. It's a little surprising that Ryuji doesn't know who he is. He decides to chalk it up to his switch from frames to contact lenses. That and it's a rare day that he wears his hair down the way he had in high school. It's too much of a pain.

He wants to stick around and keep analyzing the situation. He knows better though, he can't risk Ryuji realizing who he is. It's the whole reason he chose to stay with Haru, to keep away from the area in which Ryuji frequents. Yet here they are under the same roof. Something about that feels planned.  
  
He can't get to Haru to ask her, so he drifts back to the guest room and makes a pact with himself to remain there.  
  
By nine, he's hungry again, having not gotten a chance to finish his first meal. He creeps out and makes his way through the living room towards the kitchen. He spots Ryuji, Haru, and Ann in the loft. They're laughing together about something and it takes a lot not to feel jealous. He has no one to blame but himself. So he moves on.  
  
Most of the guests have gone home for the night. Without the crowd cover, Akira feels exposed. He doesn't want to linger any longer than necessary. He's about to start filling his plate with what's left of the party food when Ryuji walks in. It startles him so bad that all he can do is stare. Ryuji dips into the fridge to open a bottle of juice, his balance unsteady. Does he realize how drunk he is? Probably not. He cracks the bottle open and begins to pour it into a pair of glasses. Somehow he doesn't spill any of it.  
  
The entire time he stares back at Akira, his face a mask of drunk confusion. His cheeks are flushed bright red, and he sways every so often while standing. He still doesn't seem to know who Akira is. It's a bit of a blessing in disguise.  
  
“Do you want anything?” Ryuji slurs, tilting his head to the side.  
  
“I'm alright,” Akira replies, leaning his back against the counter. He crosses his arms over his chest, trying to deal with the ache forming inside of it. It hurts to have Ryuji so close by and to not be able to say anything to him. Or to be recognized by him.

He watches Ryuji gather the drinks up, he didn't add any alcohol to them. He's at least aware enough to know that Ann and Haru have reached their limits. He'll be fine.  
  
“Okaaay. Well, have a nice time at the party, man.”  
  
The next several seconds happen in slow motion. Ryuji turns too sharply on his way back into the living room, colliding with the wall. The glasses in his hands fall and bounce on the tile floor. They're made of thick glass, so they don't shatter on impact, but they do send juice spraying everywhere. Ryuji's shoes squeak as they slide on it. He tumbles backward and lands hard, wheezing pitifully.  
  
Akira's on him in seconds. “Ryuji! Are you okay?”  
  
It's obvious that he isn't. His body is trying its best to right itself, to pull air back into his lungs. His mouth moves to form words but no sound comes out. All at once he goes limp and his eyes roll shut. Panic courses through Akira. He isn't sure what to do.  
  
“What happened?!” Haru stumbles into the room. She's tipsy, but the sight of Ryuji on the floor sobers her up.  
  
“He slipped.”  
  
“Do you think we should call an ambulance?”  
  
“I don't know,” His mind stumbles over itself, trying to think of what they should do. Ann appears next.

“Did he pass out from the fall or the alcohol?” She asks as she kneels down.

“The fall,” Akira tells her. “It knocked the breath out of him.”

She runs her fingers through Ryuji's hair and sighs, “If that's the case, he should be okay. What should we do with him? He can't be left alone in this condition.”  
  
“He could stay here,” Haru suggests. Akira immediately puts a veto on that idea.  
  
“That's only going to embarrass him,” he explains, earning a nod of agreement from Ann.  
  
“Akira's right. Ryuji's always been weird about alcohol because of his father.” Ann stands up, wavering in an attempt to get her balance. It's clear that she's out of the running for driving Ryuji home. Haru's fairing better, but it's still unwise to allow her to drive. Which means the responsibility falls on...  
  
“I'll take him,” Akira offers. It's not something he really wants to do. He isn't supposed to get involved with Ryuji but it seems inevitable. “I'll take him home and stay with him to make sure he's okay. I can duck out in the morning.”  
  
“Are you sure? What if he wakes up?”  
  
“I'll deal with it.” How? He's not sure. He'll have to play it by ear. Digging through Ryuji's pockets, he finds the keys to his car. Ann and Haru assist in peeling Ryuji off the floor. The juice has soaked through his clothes, and they're starting to get sticky. It's a bit sad. There's a metaphor for life in there somewhere.  
  
He kneels down so that the girls can drape Ryuji's limp body over his back. He's heavier than expected and it takes a lot of strength for Akira to rise to his feet. Ann and Haru are there to help him get his balance. They leave the apartment in a group, the girls hovering to offer support as needed. Once they've made it to the ground floor, he sets Ryuji down long enough to catch his breath.  
  
“I'm going to get the car and bring it over,” He suggests, leaving Ryuji in the care of the girls. They stare owlishly at him from the bottom of the staircase.  
  
Akira would know the Sakamoto's white Honda anywhere. Ryuji's mother bought it midway through their first year of middle school. It carried them to Ryuji's track meets, Yusuke's art shows, Shiho's volleyball tournaments. They took it to the beach and into the woods for camping. Akira runs his hands over the hood and then walks around it in a full circle. It's the car he and Ryuji learned to drive in, still dented and scratched from all their rough handling. It's nice to see that it still runs.  
  
He climbs inside and drives it over to where Ann and Shiho are waiting.  
  
“I can't believe they still have this car,” Ann comments as they load Ryuji into the back.  
  
“Me either,” Akira agrees as he slips out of his suit jacket. He rolls it up so that he can tuck it under Ryuji's head. He hasn't woken back up or made a sound the entire time. It's a little concerning. “I'll text you when I get him settled.”  
  
“Be careful,” Haru says as she shuts the back passenger door. “If you call me in the morning, I'll come to pick you up.”  
  
“Sounds good, I'll talk to you then.”  
  
He uses his phone to look up Ryuji's address, found on an envelope in the floorboard of the car. It's not far from their childhood homes. Once he's out on the street, he finds himself driving along familiar pathways. It is surprising how little has changed in the four years he's been gone. It's all the same stores and all the same houses. His life in the city evolves day to day, here it feels like time has stopped.  
  
Ryuji's apartment is one half of a single-story duplex house. It looks to be of modest size, with a shared garage between it and the tenant next door. Akira parks the car inside it and climbs out. He unlocks the apartment door before he attempts to remove Ryuji from the backseat. It swings easily open, and he's met by a pair of startled brown eyes.  
  
A short-legged dog stands guard in the hallway, its large ears perked high on its head. It begins to walk towards him with an unnatural gate. He soon sees that it's because it's moving on only three legs. It's back right one is missing. He kneels down to offer his hand to the dog, who sniffs him for several moments before deciding he's safe. It retreats down the hallway, disappearing into what he assumes is Ryuji's bedroom.  
  
With the dog's approval, he returns to the car for Ryuji. He's awake, though not fully aware of what's going on around him. His eyes stare listlessly at the interior of the car. Akira speaks in a soft voice to him, explaining where he is and how he got there. Ryuji puts up no fight as he's helped out of the backseat and into the apartment. He's able to walk on his own legs, though it's anything but graceful.  
  
“We have to change you out of those clothes,” Akira explains when they reach the bedroom. Ryuji makes a soft noise of agreement. “Can you stand on your own?”  
  
“Yeah,” Ryuji says. He sets a hand against the wall for added balance. Satisfied with this, Akira steps away long enough to dip into the closet. When he returns, it's to Ryuji peeling out of the clothes he's wearing. He takes off the tank top first, tossing it in the direction of his clothes hamper. Akira swallows thickly and tries not to enjoy watching him undress. Despite his injury, he seems to have kept up with his muscle training. He's toned his body in all the right ways.  
  
Though that's not all that catches Akira's attention. It's hard not to stare at the scars from Ryuji's motorcycle accident. Some are surgical, clean and well-defined. Others are a mere rippling of skin, dark red patches that suggest fire was somehow involved. They're self-contained to his right half, just below his rib cage. Akira wonders if they go all the way down.  
  
“Here, I grabbed something simple,” Akira says. He places the clothes within Ryuji's reach. He excuses himself when Ryuji begins to undo the front of his pants. It wouldn't be polite to stick around for that. The dog has appeared again, hot on his heels as he makes his way to the kitchen. He fills a glass up with water for Ryuji and hangs out by the sink for a few minutes to give him time to change.  
  
The apartment is tidy if a little sparse. Much of the furniture and décor seems to be out of taste for Ryuji. Very little of anything matches his personality. Or rather, the personality of the person Akira used to know. He isn't sure how much Ryuji's changed in four years. Futaba is the only one who's spent any time with him in-person. She's less than forthcoming with the details.  
  
“What am I doing?” He wonders aloud, prompting a soft 'woof' from Ryuji's dog. He kneels down in front of it and stares into its large brown eyes. Once he's closer to its level, it seems to relax, moving to press the side of its body against one of his legs. He pets it on the head with one hand while he feels for its collar with the other. The tag hanging off the end reads 'Cappy'. It's hard to determine if the name is more suited for a boy or a girl.  
  
He pets the dog for a few more minutes and then stands up. He grabs hold of the water glass and returns to the bedroom. Ryuji managed to change into dry boxers at least. He's sitting on the edge of the bed, slumped over against the headboard. Cappy races ahead of Akira and settles at Ryuji's feet. The dog's long tongue comes out to lick over his fingertips before moving on to the fronts of his legs. His right one is a mess of scars, as Akira suspected it would be. It's sobering to finally see it, and he can't stare for too long without feeling bad.  
  
“Dumb girl,” Ryuji coos down at Cappy, his words halfway slurred. The alcohol hasn't run its course through his system yet.  
  
“Drink,” Akira commands. He presses the glass against the side of Ryuji's face. “Slowly.”  
  
Ryuji scowls but does as he's told. He takes the glass and sips his way through half of it. He discards the cup on his nightstand. It's awkward standing over him, so Akira sits down beside him on the mattress. Ryuji looks at him through narrowed eyes. It's as if he's not sure who, or what, he's looking at. He gives up trying and slowly lowers himself onto his back. His eyes are vacant as they stare up at the ceiling.  
  
“How do you feel?” Akira wonders. It's mildly warm in the apartment, so he undoes the first two buttons on his shirt and rolls his sleeves up to his elbows. The movement catches Ryuji's eye.  
  
“Y'can borrow some of my clothes if you want,” Ryuji offers, waving a hand loosely towards the closet. “I'm fine. Tired.”  
  
“You can sleep if you want to.”  
  
“My brain is too busy.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
Ryuji shrugs his shoulders and replies, “I've got too many thoughts inside it.”  
  
“What kind of thoughts?” Akira glances at him and their eyes meet. For the first time all evening it seems that Ryuji is seeing him for the first time. Really seeing him. His eyes are blazing, flecked with copper and gold. Has he finally realized?  
  
“Can I kiss you?” It's the last thing he expected Ryuji to say. He isn't sure how to respond or if he even heard correctly. Ryuji sighs and pulls himself further onto the bed. He sits up and rests his back against the headboard, staring at Akira with the same intensity as before. “Once.”  
  
“Why?” Akira wonders. He moves up onto the bed himself to sit across from Ryuji.  
  
“I just want to.”  
  
“You'll regret it in the morning.”  
  
“No I won't, man,” Ryuji insists, his eyebrows drawing together. “I know what I'm askin'.”  
  
“You're drunk,” Akira says levelly, reaching out to take hold of Ryuji's hands inside his own. “You haven't thought this through.”  
  
“I have.”  
  
“Ryuji-”  
  
“Please,” He says the word so quietly that it almost goes unheard. “Akira-" Ah, so he has recognized him after all. "-man, please?”  
  
“I-” Akira's mind races, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse. Ryuji inches closer, overeager in the way that he always is, or was, back when they were friends. His eyes are soft, his movements full of hesitation. He doesn't know what he's allowed to take.  
  
“I ain't gonna beg,” Ryuji sighs, his eyes downcast towards their hands. Akira presses his thumbs down into the center of Ryuji's palms, massaging mindlessly. “Feels nice.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“You can kiss me,” He decides at last. They're going to regret it later but it's been so long. Too long. He moves to rest a gentle hand against the side of Ryuji's face, guiding him forward. There's a small moment of hesitation, where they both linger and share airspace. It's Ryuji who closes the gap.  
  
He's like a tidal wave, crashing against Akira with so much force that they fall and bounce against the bed. His technique is a little sloppy, but god, he's trying. His hands come up between them, fumbling with the buttons on Akira's shirt. He's distracted, his mind more on kissing than on getting the shirt off effectively. A soft noise of frustration rumbles in the back of his throat.  
  
“Let me,” Akira offers, attempting to break their kiss. His words are immediately swallowed up by Ryuji's relentless kissing. He nimbly undoes the last of the buttons. They break apart so that he can slide his arms free of the sleeves. He catches Ryuji's face between his hands, holding the eager blond back when he goes in for another kiss. “Slow down. I'm right here.”  
  
“I know that. I just-” Ryuji trails off, wincing as he shifts his balance. His eyes dart down between them and one of his hands comes up to grip above his right knee. He murmurs a soft apology like it's his fault that he's in pain.  
  
“Lay on your back,” Akira suggests. He places a gentle hand on the blond's shoulder, helping to shift him. “Better?”  
  
Ryuji hums in agreement and lifts his arms up to drape them lazily over Akira's shoulders. They move back together to pick up where they left off. Akira takes the lead, guiding Ryuji through a series of slow open-mouthed kisses. Ryuji melts against the mattress, soft and submissive. It doesn't take him long to figure out the proper way to angle his mouth or when he should breathe. He's a quick study.  
  
They stay like that for a while, until they're both dizzy and breathless. Akira breaks away to move down to mouth along Ryuji's jaw, then down to his neck. He can feel Ryuji's frantic pulse. It's a steady drumbeat against his lips. Impulsively he chomps down on the side of Ryuji's neck and it causes the blond to jolt in surprise. He tries to hold back a moan, but the sound rumbles inside of his throat.  
  
“Hey,” He protests in a weak voice. He's got both hands in Akira's hair. His fingers clench and then relax, again and again. “Watch the teeth, man.”  
  
Akira pointedly ignores him. He can't help it. He drags his teeth down Ryuji's neck, leaving behind blooming marks. It's all small stuff, nothing to write home about, but Ryuji's become very vocal. He nearly shouts when Akira bites down on his right collar bone. His fingers lock tight inside his hair. His body shakes.

“Ow,” He complains. There's a raspy edge to his voice and it sends a shot of pleasure down Akira's spine. “I said watch it.”  
  
“You liked it though,” He counters. Ryuji can't think of a way to argue, so he doesn't. He moves back up to kiss him again. Ryuji kisses back for a while, although this time it's short-lived and his enthusiasm quickly wanes.

“Let's stop here. Okay?” Ryuji's already inching out of his hold, moving away from him.  
  
“Okay,” He agrees, though he can't help feeling a bit disappointed. He's never seen this side of Ryuji, and he's loath to give it up.  
  
“M'sorry.”  
  
“It's okay.” He insists and means it. Things have already gone farther than he intended. He's not willing to risk hurting Ryuji for his own selfish needs. Especially knowing that alcohol is a contributing factor to what they're doing.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“Go to sleep,” Akira insists, noticing that Ryuji's eyes have started drooping. He shakes his head in protest but it's clear that he's fighting a losing battle.  
  
“Don't disappear,” He mumbles. It's not a promise Akira's sure he can make. He can't think of how to reply, so he says nothing.  
  
He pokes and prods at Ryuji, maneuvering him into a more reasonable position on the bed. Once he's settled, Akira pulls the blankets up over him and tucks him in proper. Ryuji doesn't protest, though he does have the dignity to look a bit confused. He pats his palms over the mattress until Akira realizes that it's an invitation to join him. The chance might never come up again, so he takes advantage of it.  
  
“Go to sleep, Ryuji.”

Ryuji sleeps. Akira's heart simmers with turmoil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cappy is a black-headed tricolor Pembroke Welsh Corgi, btw. (I know it's not a key detail to the story, but I wanted to make note of it somewhere. Google them! They're really cute!) Ryuji owning a dog is high on my list of things that make my heart feel happy. I think he'd be the sort of person to go overboard on treats, toys, and beds for his dog. lol


	2. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ryuji and Akira patch their relationship up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day Two of the Pegoryu week! I made it! (Somehow.) I was so so so so so so so tired when I edited this bad boy. So I'm sure it's a little rough around the edges. Oh well. Too sleepy to stress the details. Don't mind me, I'll just be body slamming my bed. 
> 
> Thank you for reading thus far and I hope you'll stick it out until the end! (ง'̀-'́)ง

Ryuji tries to stay asleep for as long as he can. It's his day off of work after all. No obligations, no places to be. He and Cappy can spend the day getting some much-needed rest. Speaking of Cappy- He begins to feel around in the sheets for her but his hand bumps something strange. He forces his heavy eyes open.  
  
“Oh shit,” He whispers. He wasn't expecting to wake and find another person in bed with him. It's a man too. A man who is face deep in one of Ryuji's pillows. There's a brief moment of panic where his brain tries to figure out the situation. His legs feel kind of sticky and the man beside him is definitely shirtless. He might not be wearing anything, but it's hard to tell without checking up under the sheets. Ryuji himself has boxers but that doesn't mean he didn't pull them on after they-

“Fuck,” Ryuji hisses the word through clenched teeth. It's about all he can do, he's on the side of the bed closest to the wall. The only way out is to crawl over his bed partner. It's too big of a risk, he doesn't want to wake the other man. So he glares up at the ceiling in silent misery and tries to remember what happened. After the first half of Haru's party, his memories become blurred and confusing. He tries shutting his eyes to visualize more clearly, but that ends in him falling back to sleep.

The second time he wakes he's alone. His partner seems to still be in the house. Ryuji can hear kitchen noises and the clack of Cappy's claws on the tile. Good, she can keep an eye on the guy while he sneaks a shower. With any luck, mystery man will be gone by the time Ryuji has finished.

He slips out of bed, or attempts to. Sitting up causes pain to shoot through his head. It throbs viciously as he struggles to keep from throwing up all over the floor. Breathe, he tries to remind himself. Deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. The world spins around him, forcing him to become earth's lone axis.

By some miracle, the feeling passes, though it's not without consequences.

Standing produces a new kind of pain. His right leg stiffened up overnight and the muscles strain as he puts weight on them. His lower back aches as well and it's not hard to figure out the meaning behind that. He did sleep with a guy after all-

“Fuck it all,” he hisses, to no one in particular. He hobbles his way into the bathroom, determined to clean himself up. He can hear his mother's voice echo inside his head, back when he was sixteen, and she deemed him old enough for 'the talk'. All her warnings about being safe seem to have gone out the window.

He'll deal with that later. It's too much to think about right now.

Before showering, he looks at himself in the mirror. There's a speckling of small pink hickies running up the right side of his neck. They're coupled with a perfect outline of teeth just above them at his pulse-point. A matching set is lower down, dark bruises that circle his collarbone. He reaches a hand up to touch, wincing when he finds they're still sore.

He strips and steps into the shower. Dizziness plagues him, so he keeps the temperature set on low. The last thing he needs is to overheat himself and add to his hangover. Maybe if he's lucky he'll slip and brain himself on the faucet-  
  
No such luck. It's the saddest and most unsatisfying shower he's ever had.  
  
Clean and somewhat renewed, he makes his way towards the kitchen. There's fresh kibble in Cappy's dish and the smell of breakfast in the air. It's sort of creepy the way the other man made himself at home. Ryuji intends to drive that point home. He turns the corner and enters the kitchen. He opens his mouth to tell the man off and-  
  
Is stunned to see Ann and Shiho standing together at his stove. It's a plot twist he wasn't expecting. Before he can react, the front door swings open.  
  
“Good morning,” Haru's voice, as bright and chipper as a songbird. She greets Ryuji as she steps inside, his spare key dangling from one of her fingers. She's followed by the hot weird guy from her party. He's rocking a pair of mirrored aviator sunglasses. Cappy's leash hangs down off one of his hands and a cup holder full of drinks is in the other.  
  
"Good morning." The man greets. Ryuji chooses not to answer him back. He isn't sure what pisses him off more. The realization that this is likely the guy he slept with. Or the fact that that guy took his dog for a walk without asking. Probably the latter.  
  
“What the hell is goin' on?!” Ryuji demands, earning curious stares from the trio of women. He's clearly missing some details somewhere. “Why're you all here?”  
  
“We decided to come to have breakfast with you,” Shiho tells him, like that explains anything. She comes to take the drinks from Mr. Big-Shot Aviators. Once his hands are free, he slips the sunglasses down off of his face. They silently stare at one another and Ryuji takes that to mean they're acknowledging what happened the night before.  
  
“Did you sleep well?” Mr. Aviators asks levelly, breaking eye contact. He kneels down to unhook the leash from Cappy's collar. When he does, several chunks of hair fall down into his face. His hair is an untamed mess of black curls. If he had regular glasses on, he'd look like-  
  
_Akira.  
  
_The realization hits Ryuji and the shock is too much. He throws out a hand to grab hold of the wall, his head dizzy. His knees feel weak, and he's rapidly headed towards the floor. Strong arms catch hold of him before he falls completely. It's the most embarrassing reaction he could have had.  
  
“Don't! Jus' gimme a second,” He protests, pushing Akira's hands off. He leans heavily against the wall until his balance has restored itself. Everyone is staring at him, and he can't bring himself to meet their eyes.  
  
“I'm okay,” He insists, though he feels anything but. If he could find somewhere to be alone for a minute- “I'll be back.”  
  
He pushes away from the wall and beelines towards the garage door. He doesn't even bother catching the light on his way out, content to stand in the dark while his heartbeat slows. Ann's voice comes through the walls. It's high with distress though her words are too muddled to make out. He doesn't need to know the content to know they're all talking about him, fussing over him. He hates it.  
  
Something cold and wet presses against the backside of his left ankle. He spits out a curse as his body jolts in alarm.  
  
“What the hell?” He hisses, noticing Cappy seated at his feet. He can see her in the light coming from the cracked garage door. She must have followed him without him realizing. “You dumb dog.”  
  
She stares up at him, her eyes large and bug-like.  
  
“Hey,” The garage door opens, bathing the two of them in a beam of white light. Akira stands in the doorway, his eyebrows knit together in concern. “I know I'm the last person you want to see right now, but I wanted to check on you.”  
  
He's wearing some of Ryuji's clothes. Clothes he only could have gotten with access to the bedroom. To the closet. Can things literally get any worse?  
  
“You were in bed with me this morning,” Ryuji mumbles offhand. Horror lights up his veins when Akira nods, confirming what he had been suspecting. It means the two of them slept together the night before. Ryuji almost would have preferred to have slept with a stranger. Actually, a stranger definitely would have been better. “Why'd you come back?”  
  
“I needed to talk to Sojiro,” Akira leans against the door frame and crosses his arms over his chest. “About Le Blanc.”  
  
“Ah,” Ryuji replies, kneeling down to stroke Cappy between the ears. He's trying not to notice how nice his clothes look on Akira. The dude's been working out and it _shows_. He's not even doing anything overtly attractive. Yet Ryuji can't help thinking he looks amazing. Play it casual, he tells himself. “So how long will you be in town?”  
  
“A couple of weeks. Maybe longer. I'm not sure yet.”  
  
“Did everyone else know 'bout it?”  
  
“Yes,” Akira says softly. “I should have told you too.”  
  
“Nah, man, it's cool,” Ryuji shrugs his shoulders. “You don't owe me anythin'.”  
  
“I should have tried harder to keep in touch.”  
  
“No. It's better that you didn't 'n that you don't. I don't want you back in my life.”  
  
“Ryuji-”  
  
“Don't.”  
  
“I didn't mean to leave the way I did,” Akira presses. “I want you to know that.”  
  
“Yeah, well y'did.” Ryuji can't keep the ice out of his voice. “There is so much shit I want to say to you but now ain't the time for it. Not with the girls here.”  
  
“Then let's plan to talk later.”  
  
“Later?” Ryuji leans against the side of his car, laughing bitterly. “When? Next year? The year after? Ten years from now?”  
  
“I was aiming for later today. Are you free?”  
  
“I dunno.”  
  
“Ryuji, please,” Akira stands up straight and steps out into the garage. He closes the distance between them and Ryuji rises to meet him. They're still the same height, though Ryuji had always thought himself a tiny bit taller. It's a stupid reminder that they were once close enough to joke about things like that. Now it's just plain annoying. “I want to make things right.”  
  
“Yeah, well, I don't,” Ryuji pushes past him. They bump shoulders and it's halfway on purpose.  
  
He's almost back inside when Akira asks him, “Is that your bike?”  
  
“Yeah.” Ryuji turns around to look. In the darkest corner of his half of the garage is his motorcycle, or what remains of it. It's little more than a twisted mess of blackened metal.  
  
“What happened?” Akira wonders, his eyes are wide with distress.   
  
“I crashed. What's there to tell?” Ryuji spits the words, his tone harsh. He knows he's not being fair, but he can't help it. He doesn't like talking about the accident, doesn't even like thinking about it. There's more than enough daily reminders as it is.  
  
“I didn't realize it was this bad."  
  
“The scars weren't a dead giveaway?”  
  
“I did notice them, yes.”  
  
“Then don't stand there askin' me to explain it in detail. You know it was bad, so make somethin' up inside your head.”  
  
Ryuji whistles to the dog and turns away to go inside. He has to clear his head before he loses it. As he enters the kitchen, the girls glance up at him. They look like a trio of concerned mother hens, wide-eyed and wondering.  
  
“What's for breakfast?” He asks, grinning wide to help reassure them. When Akira comes in from the garage to join, Ryuji makes it a point to be polite to him. He only has to hold it together for one meal. He can do that. The girls have outdone themselves cooking, and he doesn't want to seem ungrateful.  
  
“Shiho and I will be in town till the end of next week,” Ann says to Ryuji at the end of breakfast. She jabs a finger against his sore and bitten collarbone. He hisses and ducks away from her. His face grows hot, half in anger and half in embarrassment.  
  
“I don't want to talk about it,” He tells her, and she shrugs.  
  
“Will you make some time to hang out with us?”  
  
“Yeah, I can do that. I've got your number. I'll give you a call.”  
  
Ann looks beyond him into the apartment. Shiho, Akira, and Haru have clustered themselves around Cappy. She's basking in their attention, tongue wagging as she hangs her mouth open in delight.  
  
“We're leaving him here. Talk to him. Okay? Hear what he has to say,” Ann says in a light tone. He tries his best not to show his irritation.  
  
“I don't want him here,” He tells her.  
  
“Ryuji, please? Hear him out.”  
  
“Fine, but no promises that it's gonna magically fix everythin'.”  
  
The three girls stay long enough to clean up the mess from breakfast. Ryuji rests on the couch with a wet washcloth over his face and his dog tucked against his side. The stress and his hangover have him feeling weaker than ever. He wants to go back to sleep. He doesn't want to deal with all of this right now.  
  
“We're going to go now,” Ann says as she dips into the living room. She's brought a new washcloth with her to exchange with his current one. She makes a big show of folding it up and draping it over his forehead. “I'll see you soon.”  
  
“See you,” Ryuji sighs. He calls out a farewell to the other girls as they slip out the front door. He can hear them out on the walkway, chattering as they load up into Haru's car. Then they're gone.  
  
Akira awkwardly perches himself on one end of Ryuji's couch, looming like a gargoyle.  
  
“I don't feel like talkin'.” Ryuji sighs. He'd literally rather be anywhere else.  
  
“Then listen,” Akira suggests and it's hard to argue with that. Ryuji curls himself around Cappy, stroking the top of her head as she dozes. It's a nice distraction before Akira says, “I found my parents.”  
  
“The hell?” Ryuji hisses, already angry. “What parents? I thought they died when you were a kid.”  
  
“So did I.”  
  
“Oh right, you have random not-dead parents. C'mon man. Don't fuck with me.”  
  
“Ryuji,” Akira says his name as an exhale. His gray eyes are dark with frustration. “Are you going to listen, or not?”  
  
“Fine. Go on.”  
  
“I thought they were dead,” He pauses in his explanation to reach into his back pocket. From his wallet, he pulls out a small and deeply creased photograph. “I was so young that I didn't have many memories of them. I fully believed Sojiro when he told me they had died and that they asked him to raise me.”  
  
“So he lied?” Ryuji reaches out to take the photo when it's offered to him. He examines it in detail. There is a man and woman in the picture, both smiling. It's not hard to see where Akira got his good looks, they're both attractive. Between them, towards the bottom is a very young Akira. His dark curled hair and bright gray eyes are unmistakable. It's the perfect family photo. “Why?”  
  
“To spare me the pain of the truth, I guess.”  
  
“What_ is_ the truth?”  
  
“They left me at Le Blanc,” says Akira in a low tone. His voice wavers a bit as he continues. “They stopped in at the cafe for lunch, ate quickly, paid, and left. Sojiro found me asleep in one of the booths. He thought they would come back for me. Obviously, they didn't.”  
  
“Leaving without sayin' anything must run in the family,” Ryuji comments dryly. It's a dirty thing to say, but he can't stop himself.  
  
“Are you going to let me finish?” Akira shoots back, his eyes narrowed.  
  
“It sounds like a made-up bullshit story,” Ryuji hisses, offering the photo back. “There's no way. Those people look way too nice to do somethin' like that.”  
  
“Well they did,” Akira's voice rises some, on the edge of yelling. He takes a deep breath to calm himself. “Desperation can make people do the unthinkable.”  
  
“Desperation?”  
  
“They made some bad investments in the family business and ran themselves into debt. Sojiro found out about it while he was searching for them. They lost everything.”  
  
“So they just dumped you off on the first person they found?”  
  
“They didn't have a lot of other options.”  
  
Ryuji opens his mouth to protest but quickly closes it again. It's better if he doesn't say anything. They're not going to agree, and he doesn't want to extend the argument. This isn't about Akira's parents anyway.  
  
“I left to find them,” Akira continues. “Sojiro told me a few days after graduation. He had heard from a customer that they were living in Tokyo. He offered to pay my way there.”  
  
“And did you? Find them, I mean,” Ryuji wonders.  
  
“Yes. I found them.”  
  
“How did that go?”  
  
“It was weird at first,” Akira admits, running a hand back through his hair. “They recovered financially and were doing good. My dad had started working a steady office job and my mom had a job at a florist. It surprised them that I had found them, but they were happy to see me.”  
  
“I guess I would be, if I were them,” Ryuji comments, gesturing a hand towards the photo. Akira's still holding onto it, his fingers absentmindedly tracing over the creases.  
  
“When I found them they were quick to convince me to go to college in Tokyo. They moved into a bigger apartment so I could live with them. Everything sort of fell into place and before I knew it, all this time had passed.”  
  
“It's still a shit excuse,” Ryuji feels the need to remind him, because it is. “You let four damn years go by without sayin' a word to me. Don't act like all that crap 'just happened' and that you were helpless to do anythin'. At least Ann kept in touch.”  
  
“I didn't know I was going to stay,” Akira insists, but Ryuji isn't in the mood for excuses.  
  
“You 'n Ann 'n Yusuke went runnin' off to Tokyo like it was some big party.”  
  
“It wasn't like that.”  
  
“Oh yeah? Then what was it like?”  
  
“I had to go. I had to find my parents.” Akira says, his words edged with frustration. “I spent my whole life thinking they were dead, wishing I could have known them. I can't-” He pauses, his voice on the verge of cracking. It makes Ryuji feel like a dick for forcing him to talk about it, but he isn't ready to let go of his anger. Not yet. Not until he knows everything. “I had to go.”  
  
“I understand that,” Ryuji admits, and he does. He would never have tried to stop Akira from going in the first place, had he known the situation. “It's not about why you left. Especially now that I know all that. It's about how y'did it. You could have told me what you intended to do. I would have been alright with it.”  
  
“You are,” Ryuji's voice wavers as he corrects himself. “_were_, my best friend. I would never have stood in the way of you goin' off to find your parents.”  
  
“Which is exactly why I didn't tell you,” Akira urges. “You had just gotten accepted into the scholarship track program. I wasn't going to let you put your life on hold for me. I didn't want to leave you waiting around for me to come back.”  
  
“Don't flatter yourself,” Ryuji snarls, bristling at the mere suggestion. “I wouldn't have done somethin' as stupid as that.”  
  
“How could I have known that for sure? It wasn't a risk I could take. The entire summer after we graduated. Things were different between us. You were different.”  
  
“I was different? C'mon man, you were the one actin' all weird 'n shit.”  
  
“I had so much on my mind after Sojiro told me about my parents, It's not hard to imagine that it messed with my head.”  
  
“You could'a said something!” Ryuji says hotly, his voice rising in volume. “It's not like you didn't have a million chances. We could have talked it out!”  
  
“It wasn't that simple.”  
  
“Well then I'm jus' too stupid to understand then.”  
  
“I never said that,” Akira snaps back, his eyes blazing with fury. “This isn't just about you, you know. It wasn't easy for me to pack up and leave. Especially after what happened at the festival-”  
  
“Don't,” Ryuji says shortly, moving to close some of the space between them. He presses his palm down over Akira's mouth, willing the other man to stop. “I don't want to talk about that.”  
  
“We have to.”  
  
“No.”  
  
There's a pregnant pause, a gap where neither one of them says anything. Then Akira asks, “Did you think that was why I left?"  
  
“I mean, yeah, sorta,” Ryuji's voice softens. “I thought I had messed up our friendship by confessin' my feelings like that.”  
  
“I was happy,” Akira explains. He pulls Ryuji's hand down off of his face. Instead of giving it back, he holds on to it and twines their fingers together. “I didn't think it was possible that you would feel that way about me. I mean, I had always hoped-...”  
  
“Honestly, I figured maybe my dick had scared you off more than my feelin's. I must have been pretty bad in bed for you to walk out on me right after.” Ryuji is half-joking, but the pain inside his chest is anything but funny.  
  
“That wasn't it,” Akira asserts. “I shouldn't have let you go on thinking that you weren't good. You have every right to be angry at me for that.”  
  
“I'm not angry,” Ryuji's voice is a soft exhale of words. “Well I mean I am, I was. Now I'm just tired. Tired of thinkin' that it meant nothin' to you. That I was the only one who gave a damn.”  
  
“You aren't. You were fine, you were more than fine. I think about that night all the time. ”  
  
“I wish I could believe that, man. I really, really do.”  
  
“I swear it wasn't that. If I didn't go when I did, I wouldn't have been able to,” Akira is beginning to sound desperate. Ryuji's not sure how to feel about that. He wonders if it's all an act, words to pacify him and smooth things over. Or if it's the truth. He wants so badly for it to be the truth. “I wanted to stay and to be with you, but I had to go find them. There wasn't any kind of promise I could have made to you. I didn't know how long it would take or if I would come back.”  
  
“Then why did you come back? Why are you really here, man?” Ryuji pulls his hand free and stands up.  
  
“I told you, I came to talk to Sojiro about Le Blanc. Once I turn twenty-two, I become a fifty-percent partner in the business. We were going to discuss whether I was still interested in my share.”  
  
“Are you?”  
  
“I want to talk to him about it first,” Akira stands too, smoothing his hands down the front of the shorts he's wearing. Ryuji's shorts. “If I decide to inherit it, I'll move back into town. I'm finished with my college classes.”  
  
“If you don't?” Ryuji asks, but he more or less knows the answer already. “You'll go back to Tokyo, right?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Well good luck with that.”  
  
“Go with me to Le Blanc. We can visit with Futaba for a while.”  
  
“Huh? You want me to go with you?” Ryuji cocks his head to the side. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Cappy laying nearby. She moves her head to the side in a perfect mimic of him. He disconnects from the conversation to go sit with her. She rises to meet him, stepping on his legs so that she can sit down in his lap. “Stupid dog.”  
  
“What kind is she?” Akira asks. He tentatively sits down next to Ryuji, offering his hand to the dog. Cappy extends her head towards him for ear scratches but remains loyally planted atop Ryuji's thighs.  
  
“Corgi, the kind without the tail. Ma got her for me a couple of months after my accident,” Ryuji's chest warms at the memory. “At first I didn't want anythin' t'do with her. Ya know? I was barely able to take care of myself, let alone a dog. She's grown on me.”  
  
“What happened to her leg?”  
  
“Takemi says that it was underdeveloped. I've seen photos of it and it looked all shrunken and weird. I guess it's a genetic thing.”  
  
“Like inbreeding?”  
  
“Might've been,” Ryuji nods his head solemnly, rubbing his thumbs over the tan eyebrow marks atop Cappy's head. “'n get this, the owners took her to Takemi to have it removed and then refused to take her back. Takemi told them that she couldn't be used for breeding, and they dumped her. It must've been some kinda back-yard operation. They registered under a fake name and with a fake address.”  
  
“That's pretty heartless,” Akira murmurs. He leans in to massage the dog's shoulders. It puts his chin closer to Ryuji, so that it's nearly resting against his shoulder.  
  
“Yeah, it's pretty effed up,” Ryuji agrees, though he's not paying much attention to what they're talking about anymore. His mind is on their proximity to one another. It's impossible for him to ignore the way Akira's breath ghosts over the back of his neck. “I uh... I mean, my mom um-”  
  
What was he trying to say again?  
  
“Your mom,” Akira prompts, seemingly unaware of Ryuji's internal struggles.  
  
“My mom adopted her from Takemi's clinic. Brought her home to me,” Ryuji presses on, trying to be subtle about shifting his body away. “I kind of took offense to the whole... Leg thing.”  
  
“What? Why?”  
  
“I thought she was trying to teach me some weird lesson like, 'if a puppy can do it, so can you!',” Ryuji can't help laughing. All the tension he had been holding in his body starts to melt away. “I guess it sorta was like that though. Mom made me take care of Cappy and it kinda got me out of my slump. I had somethin' to get up for in the mornin'.”  
  
“I like her name,” Akira says, his lips quirking up into a small smile. “It's cute.”  
  
“Oh man, that's an embarrassing story too,” Ryuji wraps his arms around the dog, shifting to face Akira. “So like, for almost six weeks I didn't realize that my own dog was a girl. 'Member those comics we read in high school?”  
  
“The ones with Arsene Lupin and Captain Kidd?”  
  
“Yeah! Those. I thought Cappy was a boy, so I named her Captain Kidd. By the time I realized, the name had kinda stuck.”  
  
“That's so like you,” Akira says, his eyes dancing with amusement. It's beautiful and distracting. For a moment Ryuji has to sit and buffer.  
  
“Shortened it to Cappy. I mean, I know she's a dog, and she doesn't care what I call her but I wanted her to have a good name.”  
  
“It is a good name.”  
  
“Yeah? You think so?”  
  
“Mmmhmm. She's a pretty ferocious guard dog too. It took her a while to settle down last night when I brought you home. She was pretty much keeping an eye on me the whole time.”  
  
“You protectin' me?” Ryuji asks the dog, leaning down to rest his head atop hers. “She goes with me to work sometimes. I feel more comfortable havin' her nearby, and she's a great office dog.”  
  
“Oh right, you work at the vet clinic, right?” Akira smiles wider, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He's making it very hard for Ryuji to stay mad at him. “It suits you. You've always been good with animals.”  
  
“Takemi actually wants to take me on as an apprentice.”  
  
“Don't sound so excited.”  
  
“I'm kinda excited, it's just-” Ryuji sighs, lifting his head back up. He nudges Cappy out of his lap and uses the couch to help him rise back up to his feet. “I don't know if I'll be any good at it. I didn't go to school like Mishima.”  
  
“Mishima? As in Yuuki Mishima?” Akira stands too, his eyebrows raised in surprise. “I thought he had a volleyball scholarship like Shiho.”  
  
“He's actually more of a computer guy. Says he wants to design diagnostic software 'n hi-tech surgery tools for animals. You should see the prosthetic cat leg he made this one time with his 3D printer. Takemi actually used it on a patient and it worked!”  
  
“Sounds like something you are interested in as well.”  
  
“I mean, maybe,” Ryuji shrugs his shoulders. “I'm actually more interested in physical therapy and rehabilitation. Like that's ever gonna happen though.”  
  
“Hey,” Akira says, reaching up to set a gentle hand against Ryuji's shoulder. “Give yourself some credit. If you have an interest in something, you should persue it. You've always had a way of making things work for you.”  
  
“Easy for you to say,” Ryuji laughs, bumping his shoulder against Akira's on his way into the hallway. He stops short, his head spinning with confusion. Aren't they supposed to be fighting still? Oh well, it's probably fine. “I'll go with you to Le Blanc.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yeah, man. I ain't got nothin' better going down.”  
  
Ryuji grabs his keys from their place by the door and steps out into the garage. He's still skeptical about Akira's return, but he can't deny the way they've fallen back into their old chemistry. At the very least, it's a promise that they might someday be friends again. For now, that's enough.  
  
* * *  
  
When they arrive at Le Blanc, they find themselves ushered behind the counter to help handle a sudden rush. Sojiro throws aprons at them and begins barking orders. The cafe is the closest one within walking distance to the town's only train station. Meaning that between train rides, things can get pretty busy.  
  
It's a large group of teenagers, going together as a group up into the mountains to camp. A typical sight during the summer months. They keep the three men tied up for nearly an hour, asking for all kinds of weird coffee combinations. As soon as the last of them leaves, everyone collapses into one of the booths to rest.  
  
“Sorry about that,” Sojiro says, rolling his neck to soothe the tension out of it. “Damn city kids. Basic coffee is never good enough for them. They have to have cream and sugar and chocolate drizzles.”  
  
The older man shakes his head, scandalized by the horrors of chocolate sauce. “Anyway, thank you for helpin' out.”  
  
“Ain't a big deal,” Ryuji assures him, skinning out of the loaned apron. Futaba appears from the upstairs attic. She has her eyes narrowed behind her glasses. She's searching for lingering customers.  
  
“Are they gone?” She wonders.  
  
“Yeah, they're gone, but let's go up.” Ryuji slips out of the booth and gestures for the two of them to ascend.  
  
“Huh? Okay.”  
  
“I think they want some time to talk,” He explains, referring to Boss and Akira. Futaba hums in reply and leads the way up the stairs.  
  
The attic looks much the same as it did four years earlier, back when Akira stayed in it. It had been their group's base of operations. They had held emergency study sessions in it, celebrated birthdays, holidays. It was where Ryuji and Akira spent their last night together.  
  
Ryuji exhales deeply, banishing that last thought.  
  
“Man, this place hasn't changed.”  
  
“Why should it?” Futaba asks, sitting down on the sofa. “I mean, I know we don't all hang out anymore, but-”  
  
“I'm sorry I stopped visiting,” He feels the need to say. “It was hard comin' back here after he left.”  
  
“I know. For me too.”  
  
“Did you know he was in town?”  
  
“Yeah, he stopped by after he got off the train,” Futaba pulls her legs up to her chest, a typical show of her unease. “Dad tried to get him to stay here again, but he said he had a place already. ... I was sorta glad.”  
  
“Yeah? Why's that?” Ryuji limps over to sit down beside her on the love seat. She leans over against him, and he wraps an arm around her shoulders.  
  
“I don't know if I'm ready for him to come back yet.”  
  
Ryuji nods his head in understanding, “Me either, but he's here now whether we like it or not.”  
  
“Sorry I didn't tell you. Sojiro asked me not to.”  
  
“Nah, all things considered, that was probably the best thing.”  
  
“I would'a thought you'd want to avoid him. Why are you guys hanging out?”  
  
“Er, I got a little drunk at Haru's party last night, and he drove me home,” Ryuji keeps the details to a minimum. “I didn't even realize it was him until this morning. I was actually pretty pissed when I first saw him, but we talked a little.”  
  
“A good talk?” Futaba wonders, glancing up through her large lenses.  
  
“Yeah, I think so.”  
  
“What're you gonna do if he stays here permanently?”  
  
“T'be honest, I haven't thought that far,” Ryuji says. He lays his head against the back of the sofa and shuts his eyes. “It's so damn complicated. I can't avoid him if he moves back, not in a town this small. I'm not sure that I'm ready to forgive him either.”  
  
“Do you still like him?” Futaba asks in a light voice.  
  
Ryuji exhales and lifts his head back up. He meets her eyes as he admits, “Yeah. I do.”  
  
“Do you think he feels the same way?”  
  
“I don't-” It's a hard question to answer. “I don't know. Part of me hopes he does, but the other part hopes he doesn't. If he rejects me, then I can move on.”  
  
“It's totally complicated,” Futaba agrees, glancing towards the staircase. There's a soft murmur of voices downstairs, Sojiro and Akira discussing business. “Anythin' else happen between you two?”  
  
“...Anythin' like what?”  
  
“Well you have a lot of hickies on your neck-”  
  
“Shit, I forgot about that,” Ryuji hisses the words, bringing a hand up to cover the marks. “Oh mannn. D'you think Sojiro saw them?”  
  
“I don't see how he couldn't have,” Futaba snickers, standing up to cross the room. She returns with a small hand mirror and offers it to him. It could be the lighting, but the marks look darker than they did at his apartment. He resists the urge to groan in frustration, especially over the bite marks. They've grown purple at the edges.  
  
“Look, you can't tell anyone about this, but I think he and I might've-”  
  
“You don't know?”  
  
“I was pretty drunk. I can't remember. All I know is that he was naked in bed with me this mornin'.”  
  
“Why don't you just ask him?” Futaba plucks the mirror out of his hands, turning it toward herself to fuss with her bangs.  
  
“No way, man! I can't do that. I don't want to know.”  
  
“Don't want to know what?” Akira appears at the head of the stairs. His eyes roam between Futaba and Ryuji, bright with curiosity.  
  
“Nothin'. How'd it go with Sojiro?” Ryuji asks. He stands up, brushing his sweaty palms down the front of his pants. He ignores the kissy lips that Futaba makes at him from behind the hand mirror.  
  
“We've decided on six months,” Akira explains, glancing around the attic. He seems to be having a similar feeling of dejavu, remembering how things were before he left. “I'm going to stay here in town for six months, try my hand at helping him to run the cafe. I can choose to accept my fifty-percent partnership. Or if I choose not to, I can sell Sojiro back my shares and use the money to move to Tokyo permanently.”  
  
“Sounds like a sweet deal.”  
  
“It's a generous one.”  
  
“Y'know what, man? We should celebrate,” Ryuji suggests, surprised by his own offer. “Let's invite the other girls. We can all go out for dinner or somethin'.”  
  
“At the diner! Like we used to,” Futaba chimes in as she pulls her phone from her back pocket. “I'll text Makoto.”  
  
“Whaddya say?”  
  
“Sounds like fun,” Akira agrees, flashing a smile. He approaches Ryuji and his eyes scan down to look at the marks on his neck. “I didn't know what to tell Sojiro when he asked about those.”  
  
“Shit, I was hoping he hadn't seen them,” Ryuji sighs, his face hot with embarrassment. “What did you say?”  
  
“I told him that they're animal bites. Since you work at Takemi's clinic, he seemed to accept that.”  
  
“Man! Why didn't I think of that?!”  
  
“Sorry, I got a little carried away,” Akira's voice drops into a low whisper. The tone of it sends a shiver down Ryuji's spine.  
  
“Nah man, it's fine, I'm sure I did too,” Ryuji takes a full step back, desperate to put distance between them. “There was alcohol involved. So whatever happened, you can forget about it.”  
  
“Ryuji-”  
  
Before Akira can say more, Ryuji inches past him to go downstairs. It's not a conversation he's ready to have, especially not in the attic and not with Futaba nearby.  
  
“I'm gonna wait outside,” He calls over his shoulder. His leg hurts from his rapid pace. He ignores it as he throws open the door to the cafe and steps outside. It's an immediate regret. He was hoping for fresh air to help clear his head. Instead, there is so much humidity that it feels soupy. Wilting against the cafe window, he tries to stay out of the sun as much as possible.   
  
“Here,” The bell above the door rings as Akira comes strolling out. He offers Ryuji a to-go cup of ice water. “All the girls are on board. They're going to meet us there.”  
  
“Cool,” Ryuji says, trying to form a smile. His lips crack under the strain of it. “It's awesome that you're gonna be back in town for a while.”  
  
“Are you really alright with it?”  
  
Ryuji crosses his arms over his chest and shrugs his shoulders, “Nothin' I can do about it now, huh?”  
  
“No, not really.” Akira agrees.  
  
“You shouldn't make your decisions based on me anyway.”  
  
“I'm not, but you are a consideration.”  
  
“Whaddya mean?”  
  
“I want to, at the very least, go back to being friends,” Akira moves over next to Ryuji. He's standing close enough that their shoulders brush. “I won't force you into anything. You need time to decide how you feel. I'll follow your lead.”  
  
“I ain't much of a leader,” Ryuji sighs. He leans his head over to rest against Akira's shoulder. Shutting his eyes against the brightness of the sun he whispers, “I missed you, man.”  
  
“I missed you too.”  
  
“We've got six months, huh? Summer will be over by then. Lookin' forward to that.”  
  
“Six months.” Akira agrees.  
  
* * *  
  
Dinner goes extremely well. The entire evening is full of nostalgia as they swap old stories and add in some new ones. For a while, everyone can forget that so much time has passed. They can forget that they've all changed and grown apart.  
  
They stay until the restaurant closes, but the night is still young and no one wants to go home. After a vote they decide to walk to a nearby park, determined to make the evening last as long as possible. Ryuji also wants to keep the party going, but it's hard to keep up with the energy of the others. Without meaning to, they end up racing ahead of him, and he struggles to keep pace.  
  
Akira is the first to notice, and he wordlessly slows his speed down so that they can walk together. Ryuji is grateful. He's too ashamed to say as much. The temperatures have cooled considerably, although it's still warm enough to feel draining. He wonders how he's going to make it back to his car without passing out or falling asleep along the way.  
  
Ryuji stifles a yawn with his arm and asks, “How long will you stay with Haru?”  
  
“Only until I can find a place to rent,” Akira replies, shrugging his shoulders loosely.  
  
“If you run into any trouble, I've got a couch you can sleep on for a while.”  
  
“I appreciate that but I don't want to bother you.”  
  
“It's not a bother, man,” Ryuji mumbles, shoving his hands down into his pockets. He fiddles with some lint he finds inside the right one. “I know I haven't been real welcomin'. You said before you wanted to try being friends again, so this is me trying.”  
  
“I'll keep the offer in mind then. Thank you.”  
  
The women have very nearly left them behind, moving at a pace that seems almost nonsensical. It takes Ryuji a while to figure out that they're doing it on purpose. Every so often one of them will glance back, confirming that the men are still following. He's not sure if he should be annoyed or amused. It at the very least lends itself to the illusion that it's him and Akira walking alone together.  
  
“Seems like we're being monitored,” Akira comments with a mirthful grin. “Who do you think is a ringleader?”  
  
“Definitely Ann,” Ryuji says it without hesitation. He's caught her glancing back at them more times than anyone else. “I think we almost sent her over the edge in high school.”  
  
“She wasn't very subtle about her attempts to get us together.”  
  
“Did you, uh, ever tell her about that night in Le Blanc?”  
  
“No,” Akira sighs. They walk in silence for a few steps before he goes on to say, “It's a memory I wanted to keep for myself.”  
  
“What for? It's not like it was some- some-” Ryuji struggles for the right words. Akira's gone and made it sound romantic, but for him, it's anything but. “It wasn't some life altering evenin'.”  
  
“It was for me.”  
  
“Of course it was for _you_. You got to pack your bags and leave before having to deal with any of the fallout.”  
  
“I guess that's a fair point,” Akira decides. His expression hardens and they stop talking. It feels like another fight brewing, but Ryuji doesn't know what to do about it. He doesn't know how to be mindful, or how to choose his words with care. Hurting Akira was never his intent. His mind races as he struggles to put together an apology.  
  
“My heart has changed-” He starts to say, but the words lodge inside his throat. Akira stops walking to look at him, eyes curious. Ryuji clears his throat and tries again. “I ain't the same guy as I was back then. Hell, I can barely remember who that guy was. Sometimes it feels like that part of my life never happened.”  
  
“I know a little about what you mean. Tokyo made me into a different person.”  
  
“Whaddya mean?”  
  
“Tokyo is so different from here. Everything is always running a mile a minute. The trains, the people, the traffic. It all starts to feel robotic after a while,” Akira explains, his eyes downcast. They slow their pace even more, near stopping. The girls have gone on ahead, Ryuji can no longer see them. Not that he's looking. His focus is on Akira. “Sometimes it felt like the city was going to swallow me up. Like one day I would step off the train and disappear in the crowd. It's lonely there.”  
  
“It's lonely here too,” Ryuji's hands are still tucked inside his pockets. He tightens them into fists, feeling the ragged brush of his torn and bitten nails. “After you guys left, the rest of us just kind of drifted apart too. I hardly ever see Futaba or Makoto. It had been years since I had seen Haru.”  
  
“What about your track friends? You used to hang out with the team all the time.”  
  
“No point now. I can't do track anymore, so we don't have any common ground.”  
  
“Not that it's any consolation, but I'm back now,” Akira offers.  
  
“I know.”  
  
“Can I ask you something?”  
  
“Already did.” Ryuji snorts at his own joke, trying to lighten the mood. He jabs an elbow against one of Akira's arms. “What's up?”  
  
“What do you remember about last night?”  
  
The question throws Ryuji. It's nearly impossible to recall much of anything, the alcohol took care of that. He's at a complete loss for words. It would be bad if he the wrong message. Staying vague seems the best possible way to handle things for now.   
  
“Mostly everythin',” He mutters, shrugging his shoulders. He stops to lean against a light pole, giving his leg a much-needed break. “Why? What do you remember?”  
  
“Well I hadn't had any alcohol, so-” Akira trails off suggestively. It's hard to see in the lamp's dim light, but it almost looks like he's blushing. Although it could just be the heat. Ryuji leans in to get a better look and the sudden movement seems to startle them both. Akira's eyes come up to meet his. “So you're okay with what we did?”  
  
“Yeah, it's fine. I mean, if it's fine with you.”  
  
“It's fine, yeah.”  
  
“Not exactly somethin' 'friends' do though. So we probably shouldn't go there again,” Ryuji suggests, swallowing hard as he takes a step back. His heart beats nervously inside his chest and his brain is sending out warning signals. The atmosphere has shifted.  
  
“I understand,” Akira amends, though he still steps into Ryuji's space. The two of them are almost standing chest to chest. “I've been thinking this the entire evening. What happens if we can't go back to being 'just friends'?”  
  
“We have to,” Ryuji insists, turning his face off to the side. He can't meet Akira's gaze, it's far too intense. “I don't know how to be anythin' else. If we ain't friends, we don't have anythin' else to be.”  
  
“We could be more than friends.”  
  
“I'm not exactly more than friends material.” It's the truth. Ryuji never considered dating anyone after Akira's departure. His excuse was always that he was too busy with college and track. After his accident, he didn't have enough energy to maintain friendships. Romantic relationships were completely out of the question. Before he knew it, four years had passed. He had gotten used to being alone. He wasn't sure how to be anything else.  
  
“That's not true,” Akira says in a soft voice. He presses his nose lightly against the side of Ryuji's face. It sends a rush of heat up into the blond's cheeks. He holds very still, waiting to see what happens next. Without much thought to the action, he hooks his arms up around Akira's waist to pull him closer. It's no longer the hot nighttime air that's burning him alive. “Did you ever date anyone after me?”  
  
“Technically we never dated, but, uh, no. You?”  
  
“Once or twice.”  
  
“Were they any good?” Ryuji asks. Akira's palms come up to rest against his back so that the two of them are holding each other properly. He's kissing a gentle path up Ryuji's temple and across his forehead. It's distracting and Ryuji forgets that he asked a question until Akira pulls away to answer. He shouldn't be letting Akira kiss him like that, but he can't find it within himself to stop him. He's selfishly enjoying all the attention.   
  
“Yes.”  
  
“We should stop,” Ryuji warns him. Everything they're doing feels too fast, too intimate.  
  
“Do you want to stop?” Akira asks, loosening his hold. “I won't be mad if you do.”  
  
“I don't want to, but we should.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
Ryuji breaths out a long breath of frustration. “There's a million reasons.”  
  
“Like what?” Akira leans forward to kiss a line along Ryuji's jaw and down his neck.  
  
“We're right under this light. Anyone could see.”  
  
“I don't care.”  
  
“The girls might come lookin' for us.”  
  
“Doubtful,” Akira bites down, worrying his teeth against Ryuji's overheated skin. His words come out muffled as he continues on to say, “They've been trying to get us alone all night.”  
  
“Don't leave any more marks,” Ryuji scolds. He can already feel several new ones blooming across his skin. Akira huffs out a noise of resigned dissatisfaction. “I gotta go to work tomorrow. Everyone's gonna see 'em.”  
  
“I don't mind.”  
  
“Of course _you_ don't.” Ryuji shuts his eyes and leans his head back to rest against the cool metal of the light pole. Akira stops kissing his neck and settles for simply pressing his face against it.  
  
“Damn, it's hot,” Akira complains and Ryuji can't help laughing. The two of them reluctantly move apart and continue walking towards the park. They need to at least attempt to catch up with the others. Ryuji's mind is buzzing, trying to sort through his emotions. Who knew that a little neck kissing was enough to get him riled?  
  
“Okay,” He thinks aloud, catching the other man's attention. The two of them stop at the entrance of the park.  
  
“What?” Akira asks in a curious tone.  
  
“I uh,” Ryuji begins, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves. He's crazy. He's letting the atmosphere screw with his brain. And yet... “I'd like to try.”  
  
“To date?” Akira clarifies and Ryuji nods.  
  
“Try," Ryuji puts as much emphasis on the word as he can. “I need you to swear that you won't leave me again.”  
  
“I do sw-”  
  
“No,” He squares his shoulders and forces himself to make eye contact with Akira. “I don't want an answer tonight. I want you to go back to Haru's and to think it over. I mean really, really think about it. I ain't who I was before. I've got tons of problems and my personality is shot all to hell. I'm in pain a lot of the time, or tired, so I tend to snap at people more than I mean to. Even my mom finds it hard to deal with me sometimes.”  
  
“I'm not an easy person to get along with,” Ryuji says urgently, willing Akira to understand. He often tries to avoid thinking of himself as 'broken' but at the moment he certainly feels it. He knows he needs to lay everything out, so that if it ends badly, he can at least say he warned him. “I don't know how to be around people anymore. I don't know how to be around _you_ anymore.”  
  
“So think it over first,” He finishes. His gaze drops away, and he begins tapping his right foot anxiously. It sends hums of light pain all the way up to his hip, and he focuses his attention on that while he waits for a reply.  
  
“I will,” Akira says at last, though there's an edge to his voice. “You don't have to be so hard on yourself.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
Neither one seems to know what to say next, so instead, they start walking again. By the time they catch up with the girls, Ryuji's thought of an excuse to go home. He bids his friends farewell and doubles back to pick his car up from the restaurant.  
  
When he returns to his apartment, all he really wants to do is go straight to bed. Cappy is a constant reminder that he's not allowed to do that anymore. He feeds her and takes her for her evening potty break. Back inside, he staggers through a washer load full of scrubs and then packs himself lunch for work the next day. His forced productivity takes him late into the night, and he eventually runs out of things to do. Only then does he allow himself to fall into bed.  
  
He's on the verge of sleep when he realizes that his sheets still smell like Akira. That thought keeps him up for most of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended chapter jam: Call Me Back-Young The Giant


	3. Leap Of Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ryuji becomes an unexpected midwife to a horse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wheeze* This is the last of the chapters I had pre-written for the event. Meaning I now have to actually suffer and write day by day. Woe is meeeeeee.
> 
> Drop me a line! Let me know if you like the story so far! I'll accept anything from keyboard smashing to novellas. <3 Thanks for reading guys!

The next four days pass with some semblance of normalcy. Ryuji gets up early and goes to work at the clinic. He spends his shifts tailing Takemi around the office and farm calls. His first day back was the start of his new full-time status. He'll be working four ten-hour days on and then three days off. Although he's starting to realize that 'ten hours' is more of a guideline. He's come back late every night thanks to the demanding farm calls.

At least he'll get some overtime.

His body isn't used to the physical exertion and his mind isn't used to the long hours. By day four he's one brain cell short of becoming a mindless zombie. He sits in the passenger seat of Takemi's truck and tries as hard as he can to not fall asleep. They're headed back to the clinic after a six-hour marathon of dealing with livestock.

When they arrive, it's half-past nine. Ryuji helps her unload the day's supplies and then gets ready to go home. His body is running on autopilot. He collects his check, debates on changing his clothes, then decides to forego it. Halfway home he realizes he forgot his dog, so he doubles back for her. Takemi is of course still at the clinic, working on her endless stack of paperwork.

“Go home and get some rest, Sakamoto,” She says to him as he kneels down to leash Cappy. He glances up at her, though the action takes some serious effort on his part. He's so tired that he's beginning to wonder if it's safe to drive home. “You worked hard this week. Enjoy your time off.”

“Thank you,” He says, then adds, “You should get some rest too.”

“I'll try my best.”

“Can I leave my car here? It's better if I walk home,” His whole body screams in protest, but it's the safest option.

“That's fine. You can pick it up tomorrow,” Takemi raises her eyes from her paperwork to stare at him. “Goodnight Sakamoto.”

“Have a good night.” He calls over his shoulder as he leaves her office and then the clinic. The air outside is almost 'pleasant'. The past four days have seen a drop in temperature. A good sign that there's a rainstorm on the way.

His mind dwells on that for a while and then diverts to thinking about Akira.

The two of them haven't talked at all since Ryuji returned to work. Normally he would be riling himself up over it, but he just doesn't have the mental capacity. Once his days off truly begin, all of that will change. He'll have plenty of time to sulk and worry. He flirts with the idea of calling Akira, no, texting him, before realizing he doesn't have his number. Ann would have it, he'll text her and ask.

He's got his head bent low over his phone as he steps up onto the walkway leading to his house. His porch light is out again. What a pain in the ass. Before he can reach the entryway, something moves out of the corner of his eye. He glances up to see the outline of a person standing in front of his door. It scares him so bad that he drops both his phone and the leash. Cappy explodes into loud barking in response to his fright. She charges the intruder.

“Whoa whoa! It's me!” The figure says. Both Ryuji and Cappy take pause at the sound of a familiar voice. The hair standing up on the back of the dog's body begins to flatten and her butt begins to wiggle in delight. Akira kneels down to offer his hand to her for sniffing. She licks his knuckles a few times before her butt 'wagging' moves on to encompass her entire body. She nearly falls over twice from the force of it. “Your phone didn't break, did it?”

“Nah, it's fine,” Ryuji assures him, rescuing the device from where it landed. “I've got a case on it.”

“I'm glad.”

Ryuji awkwardly stands off to the side while Akira lavishes Cappy with attention. She melts against him as he massages the thick layer of scruff behind her shoulders.

“So, uh, what're you doing here?” Ryuji asks.

“I went by the clinic,” Akira explains, standing back up. Cappy continues to dance around his feet and Ryuji's only a little jealous. “Mishima said you and Takemi were on a call. I waited until the clinic closed and then came here.”

“Why?”

“Oh, sorry. That doesn't explain anything,” He throws a thumb over his shoulder. Ryuji looks past him to see two good-sized duffel bags sitting on his porch. “I'm sorry to do this to you, but can I take you up on that offer for a place to stay?”

Ryuji wants to say yes.

He also wants to say no.

“What happened?” He asks instead, gesturing with his arms for the three of them to take the discussion inside. Moving ahead, he takes the lead so that he can unlock the front door. Behind him, Akira hauls the bags inside and nearly trips over Cappy on his way to the living room with them.

“The apartment building Haru lives at wants to do some remodeling,” Akira gingerly seats himself on the edge of the sofa. “She forgot about it, and we both had to bail out. She's staying with Makoto and I'm-”

“You can stay,” Ryuji assures him. Akira's shoulders visibly relax.

“Thank you. It will only be for a couple of days.”

“Nah man, stay as long as you need. The couch folds out into a bed.”

“I appreciate it,” Akira's eyes trail up and down Ryuji's body. “You look beat to hell. What happened?”

“What?” It occurs to Ryuji that he's still wearing his coveralls and scrubs combo. He had been too lazy to change back at the clinic. They're covered in all kinds of dirt and filth. “We had six farm calls today.”

“You mean, like, real farms?”

“Yeah! There's a lot of them on outskirts of town.”

“I had no idea.”

“Me either. It's weird. I mean, I know this is kind of the countryside but I had never seen that part of it before.”

“So you go to see... Cows?”

“Cow, chickens, horses, there's even a llama and alpaca farm. The woman who owns it turns their wool into fibers and her husband sells it here in town. It's kind of,” Ryuji takes a deep breath, his lips turning up into a smile. “Well, I guess that's kind of cool.”

“What are they like? Llamas and alpacas?”

“Alpacas are cool. They're like tiny skittish llamas. They're real soft. The llamas like to spit.”

“They spit?!” Akira gapes at him. Ryuji starts laughing, unable to help himself.

“Yeah! You should see Takemi out there vaccinating them. She wears a raincoat with a hood and everything.”

“I'm having a hard time trying to picture that.”

“Next time I'll grab a photo and show you,” Ryuji clears his throat and gestures to himself. “I'm gonna get cleaned up. Make yourself at home. Ma and I went shopping for groceries before I went back to work, so there's plenty to eat.”

“I'll give you some money,” Akira offers and Ryuji vehemently declines.

“It's fine. Get yourself something to eat.” Ryuji excuses himself.

He stands under the spray of hot water for a while, allowing the heat to soothe the ache out of his shoulders. Once he's sufficiently clean, he moves on to throw his work clothes into the washer. He was planning to sleep in just his boxers, but with a guest in the house, he decides it's best to dig through the dryer for some sweats. He doesn't bother with a shirt. The temperatures may have cooled, but it's still too hot for both pants and a shirt.

In the kitchen, Akira is seated at the dining table, head bent low over a cup of coffee. He's got dozens of rental magazines and apartment pamphlets on the table next to his mug. He's staring at them listlessly, his lips thin and his eyebrows furrowed. Ryuji clears his throat, giving Akira a chance to notice him entering the kitchen.

“You made coffee?” He asks, moving across the room to scoop Cappy's food. She lines up at her dish, ready for her dinner.

“Yeah. Sojiro gave me some beans the other day. Do you want some?” Akira gathers together his stack of papers and aligns them. He rises from his seat and moves over to the small coffee maker he's set up in an empty space on the counter.

“Nah, I should go to bed after this.”

“You had a long day. I understand.”

“Hey um,” Ryuji dumps Cappy's kibble into her bowl and returns the scoop to its container. He straightens up and turns to face Akira. “You don't have to rush to find a place. You can stay here as long as you need to.”

“I don't want to be a bother,” Akira sighs. He holds his coffee in both hands and leans back against the counter. “I had other options. Sojiro offered to let me stay at La Blanc and Haru tried to put me up at a hotel. I don't know why I came here instead.”

“It's okay,” Ryuji presses. “It's hard to find a place in this town that isn't either expensive as hell or super tiny. I got real lucky with this place.”

“How long have you lived here?”

“A little over a year. I won a few good track meets and was able to use the prize money to move out of the school dorms and in here. Mom paid the rent after the accident so I didn't lose it.”

“Speaking of... What happened?” Akira lifts his coffee mug to his lips and takes a tentative sip. Back when he used to wear glasses, they would often fog up from the steam. Ryuji misses it.

“Another time?” Ryuji says around a yawn. In truth, there will never be a good time, but if there were ever a bad time, it would be after his twelve-hour workday.

“I understand. Go get some rest.”

“Goodnight, man,” Ryuji turns around with care, trying not to put any extra stress on his leg. It's suddenly trying to go out on him. He's fine for a step or two, but then he has to catch himself against the kitchen door frame. “Fuck.”

“Do you need some help?” Akira offers in a light tone. Ryuji can hear him set his mug down on the counter and then the soft pad of his feet on the tile. “I don't want to overstep, but-”

“Help would be nice.”

Akira ducks up under his right arm and wraps his own left one around Ryuji's waist. The two of them make slow hobbling progress down the hallway. Ryuji grits his teeth the entire time. Akira helps him to bed, lingering at the side of the mattress while he settles under the sheets.

“It's going to rain,” Ryuji tells him as he draws the covers up. Cappy scales her set of pet stairs and clambers over to take her place at his side. “All my old fractures start to hurt when there's a storm on the way.”

“You're a weatherman,” Akira jokes in a soft tone. It makes Ryuji smile in spite of himself. “It's not only your leg then?”

“Nah, though that's probably the worst of them. I broke my shoulder and three ribs too.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah man, your tellin' me.”

They fall silent and Ryuji immediately regrets saying anything at all. Akira's eyes are awash with worry and sadness, though he's doing his best to hide it.

“I'm sorry,” Ryuji whispers. “I told you, I always say the wrong things. I make people feel bad.”

“It's not that,” Akira sighs, his shoulder's sagging slightly. “We can talk about it later. You're tired.”

“Yeah, I'm definitely that.”

“Get some rest. I'll see you in the morning.”

As Akira turns to leave, Ryuji can feel loneliness stir inside his chest. He wants to call him back over, to insist that he stay by his side, but that's stupid. So he doesn't give in to the urge.

“Goodnight, Ryuji.”

“Yeah, goodnight.”

* * *

Akira finds it nearly impossible to get any real rest. He's never been able to sleep well in strange places. He wonders if it has something to do with his abandonment as a child. Or maybe that's his mind trying to find reasons for his insomnia.

Bottom line is, couch beds are not comfortable.

He wakes around seven, used to rising early to catch the train in Tokyo. Over a fresh cup of coffee, he peruses his rental magazines again. He circles potential options, though the pickings are slim. It's nothing like in the city. He eventually gives up and sets about preparing himself breakfast.

Ryuji sleeps late and it's hard not to be impatient. Akira wants to see him. He wants to talk to him and to make sure he feels better. They're all nonsensical desires. He knows this, but nothing about Ryuji seems to conform with the regular definitions of logic. Including Akira's feelings for him.

He thought he had quelled them long ago, but the moment Ryuji came back into his life, they returned.

To distract himself, he decides to go for a walk. In Tokyo, when things got hard or confusing, he'd often take strolls around the city to clear his head. He's hoping it will work for him here too.

He takes Cappy along with him. She's been pacing around all morning, waiting for Ryuji to wake. Her path ran a large circle around the house, ending in the doorway of Ryuji's room. It was pathetic to watch her, the way she stared in at him, ears perked high on her head, listening for signs of waking.

Once they're out on the street, her mood seems to improve. They walk three laps around the neighborhood. The sun is bright in the sky and Akira wonders if Ryuji's prediction of rain is plausible. He must have just been sore from work. It's only mildly cloudy.

Around lunchtime, they return to the house. Akira can't stave off his impatience anymore, so he goes to Ryuji's room to check on him. He hesitates in the doorway, feeling intrusive.

“Ryuji?” He calls his name in a soft voice as he takes a single step into the room. Then he takes another and another until he's standing at the edge of the bed. Ryuji is sleeping curled in a tight ball on top of the mattress. His eyebrows are drawn together and his hands are white-knuckled as they grip at the sheets. Akira wonders if he's having a nightmare. “Ryuji.”

“Are you going to sleep all day?” He perches himself on the edge of the bed. It's enough to finally wake him up, his body jolts as it uncurls.

“Maybe,” Ryuji replies in a hoarse voice. He's looking at him through heavy-lidded eyes. “What time is it?”

“Noon.”

“Shit. I'm sorry.”

“Don't be,” Akira reassures him. He reaches out to brush his fingers through Ryuji's bleached spikes. The texture feels oddly dry and stiff. Ryuji leans into his touch and hums when Akira continues petting his head. “So why the blond hair?”

“Why?” Ryuji cracks open an eye to stare at him.

“It was black the last time I saw it.”

“It's not that great of a reason,” He says tentatively. “When I started college, I wanted to feel like a new me. So I went blond.”

“Do you like it?”

“What kinda question is that? I wouldn't have it if I didn't like it,” Ryuji halfway laughs. He winces as he shifts over onto his back. “Oof. That didn't feel great.”

“Your leg?” Akira wonders.

“My everything. Mishima warned me that I'd be sore. I didn't think it would be this bad. I'm not used to so much physical labor.”

“I thought you said it was the rain.”

“It might be both.”

“Both?” Akira sighs in disapproval.

“It's fine man, I mean it.”

“Is it safe for you to be working like that?”

“Eh, probably.” Ryuji shrugs his shoulders.

“Ryuji.”

“C'mon man, it's fine,” Ryuji says again. He's trying to play it off, but Akira can see how measured his movements are. “How did you sleep?”

“It was good. Thank you again for letting me stay.” Akira's not about to admit otherwise. There's a stiffness between his own shoulders that's pretty hard to ignore. He slept much better when he shared Ryuji's bed. That's not a sleeping arrangement that's likely to happen again though.

“Good. Lemme up. I gotta walk my dog. I'm already late in doin' it.”

“Er, I hope you don't mind. I went for a walk this morning and took her with me. I tried to leave her, but she kept beaming me with her eyes.”

“Nah man, it's cool. As long as she got walked,” Ryuji snorts in amusement and shakes his head. “Sometimes she's literally the only reason I get up in the mornin'. I guess that's kinda the point of why Ma got her for me.”

“She's pretty spoiled,” Akira comments. There's a dog bed in every room, of varying shapes and sizes. So far he's counted six of them, though he suspects there might be more. “She's got a lot of places to sleep.”

“I'll admit. I did go overboard on the beds a bit. It's jus' that I keep finding real nice ones and it seems like a waste to throw the old ones out. They're all still in good shape.”

“And all those dog toys.”

“I don't want her to get bored!”

“Admit it Ryuji,” Akira leers, climbing fully onto the bed. He poises himself over top of the other man, flustering Ryuji so bad that he has to look away. “You're one of those people who spoil their dogs.”

“Ain't nothing wrong with that,” Ryuji grumbles. The blush inside his cheeks is spreading down his neck and up to the top of his ears. It's an adorable reaction. Akira brings a hand up to brush the back of his fingers along one side of Ryuji's face.

“You're blushing.”

“I ain't.”

“You are.”

“...For real?” Ryuji sets both of his hands over his cheeks and tries to wriggle free. “Lemme up.”

“It's cute,” Akira tells him, moving off so that Ryuji can stand up out of bed. He rises robotically, all his movements stiff.

“Akira, jeeze,” Ryuji sighs, though there's a touch of laughter in his voice. He stretches his arms up over his head, an attractive display of his toned body. It causes his sweats to sink down low on his hips. Akira can't help that the movement draws his attention. He swallows hard and tries not to think about what might happen if Ryuji's pants were to, say, fall all the way down. “Eyes up here.”

Akira tilts his head back to look at him, blinking innocently. “I'm not looking anywhere in particular.”

“Bullshit,” Ryuji's tone is harsh, but his eyes are dancing with amusement. “We still haven't talked about the whole, y'know, datin' thing.”

“I know. Is now a good time?”

“Nah, I'm pretty hungry right now. After lunch.”

“Ryuji,” Akira sighs in frustration. He drops his gaze back down to Ryuji's waist, only this time, he's staring at the burn marks there. He reaches out to brush the tips of his fingers over them, and when Ryuji doesn't protest, he presses down more fully. “They feel warm. Is that normal?”

“Yeah, I think so. Doctors say it's normal.”

“They're burns, right?”

“Yeah,” Ryuji says, shrugging like it's not a bit deal. Maybe it isn't to him.

“Do they hurt?”

“Nah, not anymore. They feel- stiff?”

“I'm sorry,” Akira says in a low tone. He's not sure what he's apologizing for.

“Don't be,” Ryuji tells him in a firm voice. “They look worse than they are.”

“I meant to visit you while you were in the hospital.”

“No offense, but it's probably better that you didn't. Wasn't a great time for me.”

“I understand. That's fair,” Akira agrees. He drops his hands away and settles them in his lap. He can still feel the last traces of warmth at the tips of his fingers. “Will you tell me about the accident?”

“Not now,” Ryuji says, his voice high with tension. He clears his throat and then adds, “I will though. Soon.”

“When you're ready.”

“Soon. I promise.”

Akira stands up and knocks the front of his forehead against Ryuji's. The action causes them both to start snickering. It effectively ends the tension between them. They move towards the kitchen, a chaotic mess of ineffective walking. Laughter echoes down the hallway as they playfully push and shove at one another. Cappy is at their feet, almost tripping them in her excited attempts to join in.

In the kitchen, she finally succeeds. Akira and Ryuji sit side by side on the tile floor, wheezing with laughter as they untangle their limbs. Cappy bathes them both with affectionate tongue licking.

“Help me up,” Ryuji says when they've both caught their breath. Akira stands and offers his hand, helping to pull him off the floor. “That's what I've missed.”

“What? Falling over things?” Akira jokes. Ryuji rolls his eyes but he's smiling.

“No, not that,” He struggles to find the right words. “I've missed us. I've missed, y'know, bein' stupid together.”

“Me too.”

“I'd like it if we could get that back.”

“That's what I want too,” Akira breathes, his chest swelling with happiness. “More than that, I want to be with you.”

“Like, 'with me' with me?” Ryuji asks, his eyes wide. “Even after everything I said the other night?”

“We've both changed Ryuji. That was going to happen whether I went to Tokyo or stayed behind.”

“I know, but, I feel like I've changed in a bad way.”

“You went through trauma,” Akira murmurs as he catches Ryuji's face between his hands. “You had to start your life over. No one could blame you for changing after something like that. I don't.”

“What if you decide you don't like this version of me?” Ryuji whispers, his tone heavily guarded.

“You're still you.”

“It doesn't feel like it sometimes.”

“I know,” Akira leans forward to press his lips to Ryuji's forehead. Ryuji's body begins to relax, and he moves forward to return the favor. He pecks a soft kiss against Akira's cheek and then moves away quickly.

“Let's go out for lunch,” He decides, motioning towards the bedroom. “Lemme change clothes, and we'll go.”

“Take your time.”

Once Ryuji's dressed in something more sensible, the two of them move toward the door to leave. Akira's just turned the handle when a steady knock sounds from the other side. He glances at Ryuji, who shrugs and nods for him to open it.

There, standing in the hot midday sun is Yusuke.

* * *

“You don't have the greatest sense of direction, do you?” Ryuji sighs. The spindly artist is currently laid out on his couch, exhausted from the heat. According to him, he's been searching for Ryuji's apartment for most of the morning.

“No, I suppose I do not,” Yusuke agrees. Akira comes from the kitchen with a bag of ice wrapped in a hand towel. He offers it to Yusuke and instructs him to apply it to the back of his neck. “To be fair, Boss is also bad at giving them.”

“Yeeeeeah.”

“Are you still dizzy?” Akira asks as he fans the slender man with one of his rental magazines.

“I'm alright now,” Yusuke reassures him. His dark eyes trail from Akira to Ryuji and back again. There's a clear question of 'What's this?' written out over his face. “It's been a while, Ryuji. You look-... Well.”

“You too,” Ryuji says amicably. He adds, “Outside'a the whole heat exhaustion thing.”

“Thank you.”

“What're you doin' here?”

“I came on an early morning train from Tokyo,” Yusuke begins. “Akira asked me to bring him some things and I thought I would stop by to visit with my mother.”

Akira asks, “How is she?”

“She's very well. Her latest art show was a success, and she's scheduled to come to Tokyo in the fall. We're going to work on some pieces together for a gallery show.”

“That's great, man!” Ryuji enthuses, though too loudly. Yusuke winces at the sudden uptick in volume.

“Let's let him rest for a bit,” Akira suggests. Ryuji couldn't agree more, just looking at Yusuke is making him feel overheated. Another wonderful thing about summer.

The two of them relocate to the kitchen.

“Guess we're stayin' in for lunch,” Ryuji sighs. He opens the fridge, checking inside for potential lunch ideas. “We could make sandwiches.”

“Sounds good. You want me to do it?”

“Well if you're offerin'-”

“I got it.”

Ryuji seats himself at the table and Cappy comes to lay at his feet. She's put off by Yusuke's rejection of her dog kisses. With a long sigh, she settles her head over his toes.

Watching Akira work in the kitchen is nothing short of amazing. He moves with such surety, making something as simple as sandwiches look like an art form. Ryuji can't help thinking that he looks like he belongs in the kitchen. More specifically, his kitchen, though it's far too soon into their 'relationship' to consider living together. He wouldn't mind entertaining that thought in the future.

Things are good between them again. It's not much, but it gives him hope.

“I made you some too,” Akira tells Yusuke, who's wandered into the kitchen in search of a refill for his water glass.

“Thank you. I'll take you up on that offer,” Yusuke fills his cup and seats himself at the table. “I'll admit, I'm a little surprised to see the two of you together.”

“Ryuji offered to let me stay until I find a place. There were some unexpected problems at Haru's apartment.”

“I see. Sounds reasonable.”

“Speakin' of Haru, I just got a text from her,” Ryuji announces, staring down at his phone screen. “I guess her horse, the pregnant one, is starting to show signs of goin' into labor.”

“She's got a pregnant horse?” Yusuke asks, his eyes wide.

“Yeah. She wants to see if we'll come camp out with her to keep an eye on things.”

“In the barn?” Akira asks, bringing their plates over to the table. He passes the food out and then takes a seat next to Ryuji.

“Well duh, the horse isn't livin' in the house,” Ryuji teases, knocking his arm against one of Akira's. The action doesn't go unnoticed by Yusuke. He narrows his eyes but doesn't say anything. “The other girls are goin'. We might as well too, right? Could be kinda fun.”

“Sleeping in a barn doesn't exactly sound like fun,” Yusuke says around a mouthful of sandwich. He finishes chewing and then adds, “I suppose it has its charms.”

“You can come along.”

“Well if you insist.”

“Guess we're sleeping in a barn then,” Akira agrees, smiling widely. “It's been a long time since we did anything like camping.”

“I seem to recall the last time ended in... Tragedy.” Yusuke murmurs, his lips sliding down into a scowl. He looks pointedly in Ryuji's direction.

“C'mon man! It wasn't my fault!” Ryuji laughs. “You can't still blame me for the girls running off with our clothes.”

“Yes, I can. I would have never gone into that lake if you hadn't of pushed me.”

“Hey, you at least had shorts on. Akira and I didn't have anythin'.”

“We're not going to end up skinny dipping in a horse barn,” Akira soothes, trying to calm Yusuke's unease.

“I certainly hope not,” Yusuke says sharply.

“Not with Mr. Okumura hangin' around,” Ryuji sighs, peeling off a small piece of crust to pass under the table to Cappy. “I saw him the other day when I went with Takemi. He's the exact same as he was when we were in high school.”

“Takemi? You mean the vet?”

“Ah, yeah. I guess you don't know. I work for her now.”

“That's a pretty advanced field to work in. I'm impressed, Ryuji,” Yusuke says with a half-smile. Ryuji would never admit to it, but he's always admired the artist's maturity and poise. It makes Yusuke's compliment that much more meaningful.

“I'm just Takemi's wing-man, but thanks, dude.”

After lunch, Ryuji and Akira leave Yusuke to rest while they put together their overnight bags. Midway through packing, Ryuji remembers he left his car at the clinic.

“Stay here with Yusuke. I'll go get it and drop Cappy off to stay with Takemi,” Akira offers. Ryuji is still feeling a bit run down, so he agrees.

“Thanks, man. I appreciate it,” He says as he walks them to the door. Dropping down into a crouch he cups his hands around Cappy's furred face. “You be good for Takemi. Okay?”

She stares up at him, giving no indication that she understood the request.

“First time apart?” Yusuke wonders from the couch and Ryuji nods his head solemnly.

“It feels weird, y'know?” Ryuji sets a hand against the wall and uses it to help him stand back up. “Okay, go before I change my mind.”

“She'll be okay,” Akira encourages. He clips the leash onto her collar and then steps out the door with her. “I'll be back”

“See you later.”

Once they've gone, Yusuke beckons Ryuji into the living room.

“Have you two worked things out?” He asks with no hesitation. It's always that way with Yusuke, like Futaba, he often misses social cues and ends up coming across as blunt.

“I mean, sorta?” Ryuji offers, trying to remain vague. He's not sure if Akira wants their business passed around to all their friends. “We've definitely had a few good talks. Why?”

“No reason.”

“...Ann put you up to this, didn't she?”

“Yes, she did, but I have a personal interest in it as well.”

“So like,” Ryuji sits himself down on the couch and tosses his legs up on his coffee table. “Is everyone scheming to get us together or somethin'?”

“The final decision is up to you and Akira, of course. We merely thought that a push in the right direction might help.” Yusuke explains sheepishly.

“Definitely sounds like an Ann-Plan.”

“As I said, we all have a vested interest. Akira has not been himself for some time now. I do not wish to talk about one's business that is not my own. However, I believe that it has to do with his current situation in Tokyo.”

“His situation? What situation?”

Before Yusuke can answer, the door leading out to the garage opens and Akira steps in through it.

“I've got the car all set, are you two ready to go?” Akira asks as he enters the room. His eyes scan between Ryuji and Yusuke and it's hard not to feel scrutinized. “Is everything okay?”

“Well enough,” Yusuke says, glancing purposefully around the living room. “We were having a discussion on the, er, finer points of Ryuji's choice in home furnishing and décor.”

Ryuji opens his mouth to protest against the veiled insult but thinks better of it. He doesn't want to kill their cover story.

“Yusuke just has no taste,” He says instead, pushing past both men on his way to the garage. His mind is still burning with curiosity. He wonders what Yusuke would have told him, had they not been interrupted.

* * *

Ryuji expects them to be sleeping in a dusty hayloft. He expects rats and cobwebs and a leaky roof. He expects stumbling through the dark to find an outhouse.

Instead, they're sleeping inside something Haru calls a 'clubhouse'. Just off the main aisle of stalls in the barn is a fair-sized room. It comes complete with couches, a kitchenette, and indoor plumbing. Their overnight stay is going to be a lot less 'camping' and a lot more 'slumber party'. Ryuji tries his best not to feel disappointed.

“Guess we don't need the camping gear,” Akira comments dryly. He and Ryuji linger in the doorway while Yusuke goes on ahead to sit with the girls. They're all dressed in their pajamas, passing around boxes full of nail polish bottles.

“Oh well,” Ryuji says with a shrug of his shoulders. They drove almost an hour to get here, they're certainly not going to turn around and leave. “It's kinda nice havin' everyone together. That's more or less what I was lookin' forward to.”

“Me too.”

“Let's do this.”

“Thank you guys for coming,” Haru says when they're seated and settled among the group. “I guess it's a little silly to set up a baby-watch party for a horse, but-”

“Nah, it's cool,” Ryuji tells her. “I can tell you're excited about it.”

“Any excuse for us to all get-together.” Akira concurs.

“What do you think?” Futaba interrupts, leaning into the middle of the group with two colors of nail polish in her hands. They're varying shades of blue, one with tiny flecks of silver glitter and the other navy matte. “For Inari.”

“I cannot believe you are going to keep calling me that.” Yusuke sighs, bemused by his old high school nickname.

“I like the glitter,” Shiho suggests.

Ann fervently agrees, “Definitely the glitter.”

“I don't know. Don't you think the matte is more suiting for Yusuke?” Suggests Makoto. Akira is quick to agree.

“Fine, fine,” Futaba offers the matte polish over to Shiho and Ann, who set to work on Yusuke's nails with enthusiasm.

“C'mere,” Ryuji says, beckoning Futaba over. “You can do my nails instead. Any color you want.”

“Any color?” Futaba wonders, her eyes narrowed with suspicion.

“Any color. I mean it.”

She begins digging through the boxes in search of garishly bright or girly colors. She holds them up to gauge his reaction. He does his best to keep his face straight, even though some colors are, honestly, pretty awful. She settles on a combination of traffic cone orange and alien lime green. He's relieved. They're not the worst colors she could have chosen.

“You said I could pick,” She warns him one final time as she uncaps the orange. “Last chance to change your mind.”

“Go for it.” He encourages, offering his left hand to her. She's about to start painting when the lights overhead flicker and then go out. “Uhhh, Haru? Is it s'posed to do that?”

There's a flash of bright light outside the window, followed moments later by a boom of thunder. Ryuji jumps at the sudden noise and his pulse begins to quicken. He grinds his teeth together and tries to control his racing thoughts. Another bolt of lightning cuts across the sky.

_A blinding light shoots across his vision. His body lurches as his wheels skid across the rain-slicked road. He's falling, spinning, then the ground reappears under him. His clothes are wet. It's so cold. He can taste blood, it sits heavy inside his mouth. His body feels broken, but he can't move. An orange light drifts towards his feet. He tries to focus on it, but his vision is too blurred. Then he's burning. Screaming. Fear. Pain..._

Ryuji feels his breath catch inside of his throat, his body rigid from the stress and tension. Thunder roars outside the window as rain begins pouring down from the sky. Trying to ground himself, he curls his fingers around Akira's forearm. It's the closest thing in reach.

“Futaba, will you come with me to look at the circuit breaker?” Makoto asks as her face illuminates, courtesy of her cellphone.

“Sure!” Futaba grabs her phone as well and uses its light to climb around the seated group.

“I'll show you where it is.” Haru's quick to follow, half tripping over Yusuke in her haste. He grumbles out a complaint that Ryuji doesn't quite catch. His ears are still ringing with panic, though it's significantly less. Hearing the voices of his friends have at least brought him back enough for him to realize that he's safe.

“Ryuji,” Akira says, low and urgent in his ear. “I don't mind you holding onto me, but- ow?”

“Oh, shit, sorry,” Ryuji unclasps his hand from Akira's arm. He takes a few deep steadying breaths. “Sorry man, I didn't mean to grab so hard.”

“Are you okay?”

“Kind of.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not... Really...” He would, were he not so hyper-aware of the other people in the room. Ann and Shiho were whispering together moments before, but their voices have stopped. He's certain that they're eavesdropping. “I'm okay. It just caught me off guard.”

The lights come back on, leaving everyone blinking hard as their eyes adjust. Ryuji puts a small amount of distance between himself and Akira. He's still trying to control the after-effects of his panic. Ryuji doesn't need him catching sight of the sheen of sweat on his skin or the way he's trying to steady his breathing. He folds his shaking hands inside his lap and forces his expression to ease.

“Guys, it's happening!” Futaba comes racing back into the room, her eyes wide with excitement. “At least, we think it is.”

“What's happening?” Yusuke asks.

“The horse! Duh! C'mon!”

Ann, Yusuke, and Shiho hurry out after Futaba. Akira rises to his feet but stops short in the doorway. He looks back at Ryuji, his head tilted in a question.

“I'll be right there,” Ryuji croaks out, waving for him to go on ahead. When he continues to hesitate, Ryuji waves his arm with more vigor. “Go. Please?”

“Not without you,” Akira says stubbornly. He returns to his place by Ryuji's side and sets a gentle hand on his back. Rubbing his palm back and forth over his shoulders, he asks, “What can I do to help?”

“Nothing. I just need a sec.”

So they sit. Akira keeps up his steady back rubbing and Ryuji wilts under the attention. His eyes have slipped closed. He could have fallen asleep if not for the sudden interruption of the others coming back into the room.

“False alarm,” Haru announces. Ryuji moves away from Akira's touch, straightening himself back out.

“Sorry, m'leg slowed me down,” He explains as everyone returns to their places on the floor. “What happened?”

“She just got spooked by the thunder.”

“No baby?”

“No baby.”

“Which means I can get back to painting your nails,” Futaba drops back down into a crouch in front of him. She gives him a curious look but decides not to ask. If there's anyone in the room who understands anxiety, it's Futaba. Ryuji is resoundingly grateful for her tact.

“Let's get back to it.” He says, offering his hand again. It's still shaking but Futaba manages to steady it.

The rest of the evening goes smoother, though the storm outside continues. Once they run out of nails to paint, toes included, they crowd together on the couches to watch a movie. Occasionally Haru will dip out of the room to check on Lady. Each time she returns with a disappointed expression.

Around midnight, everyone begins settling down to sleep, sans Ryuji and Ann. It's their job to go on the first hour's watch.

“Let's go sit out there, so we can talk,” Ann suggests. She pulls a blanket around her shoulders and leads the way out into the main hub of the barn. They seat themselves on a short stack of scratchy hay bales outside of Lady's stall. “Kind of a weird night, huh?”

“Yeah,” Ryuji agrees. It's been weird in more ways than one. His nerves are still a little on edge, spurred on by the continuing storm.

“You seem kind of off. Is everything okay?”

“I'm tired. I worked a lot of hours over the past couple of days.”

“Doesn't have anything to do with Akira staying at your house, does it?” Ann turns her head to look at him, her blue eyes serious. “If it's too much for you, we'll find another arrangement.”

“No!” Ryuji exclaims, louder than he meant. He lowers his voice and continues on to say, “No, it's okay. I told him the other night that he could stay with me if he needed a place.”

“I wanted to make sure.”

“Thank you, but it's all good.”

“To be honest, I wasn't convinced that him coming back here was a good idea,” Ann admits. “I know you and I kept up pretty good communication. So I'd like to think I still know what kind of person you are. How you react to certain things. I thought you'd blow up at him.”

“I sort of did,” Says Ryuji in a light tone. “When he stayed behind to talk to me, I got real ugly with him.”

“You worked it out though, didn't you?”

“I think so. We're startin' to.”

“So what's the plan then?” She asks, leaning her head over to rest against his arm. She yawns and pulls the blanket tighter around her shoulders.

“The plan is to not fall asleep,” Ryuji warns, although he follows her example. He rolls his head over to the side, resting it against the top of hers. “Do you like Tokyo?”

“Of course I do. I'm pretty much living my dream life there.”

“So you don't miss it here?”

“I sometimes do,” Ann sighs. “I miss the stars and how fresh the air is. I miss Le Blanc and all the yearly festivals and things we used to all go to together. Of course, I definitely miss the friendship we all used to have. I wonder if we'll ever have that again.”

“I think about that a lot,” Ryuji shuts his eyes. “It's lonely here without everyone. After you guys left, I didn't know how to keep up with the others. I let everythin' fall apart.”

“It's not your fault Ryuji.”

Before he can open his mouth to deny her words, there's a sharp crash as Lady kicks out at the side of her stall. The sound echos down the barn aisle, stirring the other horses and startling the humans. Ryuji slides down off the haystack so that he can peer over the top of the stall door. Lady is laying on her side, her eyes wide with distress. Something is wrong, though he's not sure what.

“Go get Haru.” He calls over his shoulder to Ann.

“What's happening?” She asks, but he waves her off. He pulls out his phone to call Takemi. She answers on the third ring, up despite the late hour.

“There's somethin' wrong with Haru's horse,” He says in a rush. “The one havin' the baby.”

“What do you mean?” Takemi asks. “I need you to describe the situation in as much detail as possible.”

“Er, okay. Okay. Give me a minute,” Tentatively, he steps into the stall, walking a wide circle around Lady.

“She's layin' down. Sweatin' pretty bad. Looks nervous. Keeps kicking the walls,” He begins, trying to be as thorough as possible. He's not sure what to look for. “I think the uh, water thingy broke. The straw is wet. I um, I might see a foot?”

“One?”

“Just one. Wait, wait, I see two.”

“Do you see the head at all?” Takemi wonders, her voice sounds sharper than before. Haru and Ann have appeared to linger in the doorway.

“No, no head,” Ryuji reports, trying to keep calm. “What's happening?”

“There are a few possibilities but I can't know without being there. I can get in my car and start over but it might be too late by the time I arrive. It sounds like the foal might be in the wrong position.”

“What? What do we do?!” Ryuji glances at Lady, his heart sinking inside his chest. Her sides heave as she stares up at him through fear-filled eyes. “Is there anything we can do?”

“If I were to instruct you, do you think you could check the positioning of the foal?”

“You don't mean-” Ryuji stammers. “What happens if I don't?”

“The foal will likely die. The longer we wait the higher the chance of that. Maybe even the mother too. You need to think about this carefully.”

There's a brief pause where Ryuji considers all options. Sure, it might be gross, there's no denying that. He also has no idea what he's doing. The worry that he might mess up is a strong contender for why he should say no. Then he looks at Haru. He sees how upset and worried she is and his mind is instantly made up.

“Fine, I'll do it.” He must be crazy. He's certain he is. “What do I have to do?”

Ryuji switches from a voice call to video so that Takemi can see from her end.

“Haru, go fill a bucket with hot water. Bring towels, soap, anything you think might be helpful,” Takemi commands. “You've foaled horses before so you know what you need, right?”

“I do. I'll be back,” Haru rushes out of the stall to gather the needed supplies.

“Have Ann hold onto the phone so that you have both hands free,” Takemi tells Ryuji. He passes it off as Haru reappears. With a shaking breath, he pulls his shirt off over his head. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Ann's eyes widening, no doubt taking in the sight of his scars. Haru too seems momentarily fixated on them, but she snaps out of it quicker.

He doesn't have time to worry about how self-conscious he feels. Takemi begins instructing him on how to scrub and disinfect his arms. It's hard not to think about where he's about to put them. So much for his new manicure.

“Now what?” He asks, holding his hands in front of himself to keep from touching anything. The commotion has caused the others to wake up. They're lingering outside the stall, trying to keep back and not crowd it while still getting a good look. It merely adds to his pressure.

“Haru, go sit down at Lady's head to keep her calm,” Takemi says. She's no longer on screen, busy gathering supplies in her preparations to leave the clinic. “If she moves while Ryuji's arm is in there, it could break. Both of you keep that in mind. If you feel her try to stand, pull out.”

“Got it,” Ryuji takes in another nervous breath as Haru kneels down by Lady's head.

“I'm here Lady,” Haru croons to the distressed beast, stroking her hands gently along the side of its face.

“Okay, Haru's there. What now?”

“Bring your fingers together and keep them as tight as you can. You want to go in slowly so you don't rupture anything,” Takemi reappears on the screen. She demonstrates the action for him. He wishes he hadn't of volunteered, but there's no going back.

His nerves, everyone watching him, the storm outside, he pushes it all to the back of his mind, so he can focus.

“This is the most important part,” She instructs when he's, quite literally, arm's deep in the action. “I need you to feel around to try to determine the position of the foal.”

“I got it,” Ryuji grits out, wincing against the pressure being exerted against his arm. It's a tighter fit than he thought it would be. His hands brush something solid and he flinches. He has to feel around for a moment or so to determine exactly what parts he's touching. “I feel the head. Yeah. It's tucked back. Like it's lookin' over its shoulders.”

Takemi sighs, looking more relaxed. “That's good. That's easier to fix. You're going to have to get hold of the foal's head and bring it forward. Do you think you can do that?”

“I'll try.”

Ryuji's not sure of anything at the moment, but he's operating on adrenaline so it doesn't matter.

“If you can, try to push the foal back some. It will make more room for your other arm.”

“Fuck,” He hisses, glancing up at the group of faces watching. “I need someone to come in here and help me.”

“I've got it.” It's Akira who answers the call, followed by a brave Makoto. They approach slowly, so as not to startle the horse. “What can we do?”

“Brace my back.”

The two of them place their hands on his squared shoulders. His legs ache from kneeling on the floor, his right one especially, but he ignores the pain as he begins pushing. With Akira and Makoto giving him leverage, he shoves with all his strength against the foal's chest. Everything shifts and the pressure on his arm decreases.

“I got it, I got it. Hold on,” Ryuji pants, trying to catch his breath. The stress is making his head spin. He shuts his eyes briefly to rest. Yusuke dips into the stall to offer a small towel to Ann, who uses it to dab the sweat off of Ryuji's face. He flashes them both a grateful smile before returning to the task at hand. “Takemi.”

“You're doing good. I'm on my way,” She tells him, before launching into the next set of instructions. Akira's hands are still resting against his back, a reminder that he's not doing it all by himself. His friends are with him. Akira is with him. “Get your second arm in and bring the head forward, nose first.”

“Okay-” He's about to reply when the pressure around his arm changes. Lady lifts her head up and begins to roll in an attempt to get her feet under herself. Pain explodes up the length of Ryuji's arm as it's twisted by her movements. “Haru! Keep her still!”

“I'm trying!” Haru calls back in a frantic voice. Makoto rushes up to help her and the two of them wrestle Lady's head back down. She snorts derisively before settling.

“Ryuji, are you okay?” Akira asks him, his voice tense. The pain in his arm is ebbing away, but it's still a moment or two before he can answer back.

“I'm okay,” He rasps.

“We have another problem,” Ann says. When Ryuji glances up he sees that his phone has dropped the call, along with its cellular connection. “Is anyone else getting service?”

There's a resounding chorus of 'No' from everyone.

“Keep trying to get Takemi back. I at least know what I gotta do for now,” Ryuji tells her. He goes back to work, following the instructions given to him before the cutoff. He takes hold of the foal's head, maneuvering it with as much care as he can. His fingers feel weak and his arms have gone numb, but he pushes on with blind determination. He hopes to god he's doing it right.

“Shit! I think I just-...” The foal's head rests firmly between his hands. “What now?!”

“Grab the legs and pull,” Haru says, with such surety that it's hard to question her. “I've seen it done before. Just go slow.”

“Got it,” Ryuji glances up at Akira. “I need help. I'm runnin' out of juice here.”

“Tell me what to do,” Akira says to him without a hint of hesitation. They each grab a limb and begin pulling. It becomes easier once the shoulders are free. The rest of the foal follows on its own and suddenly there's a baby horse in Ryuji's lap.

“Towels, we need towels,” Ryuji calls out. Futaba steps into the stall to toss a stack of them towards him. The foal doesn't appear to be breathing and it sends a whole new wave of anxiety through Ryuji. It would be just his luck to go through all that only for the foal to have died. Haru comes to stand by him, leaving the care of Lady to Makoto. “Help me rub him down.”

Haru and Akira both join in. The three of them work to try to stimulate the foal into breathing. It's clear almost right away that their efforts aren't getting them anywhere. Ryuji racks his brain, trying to think of what Takemi would do. Trying to think of what he's seen her do. The answer hits him.

“Pick it up and drop it,” He says as he staggers to his feet. Both Haru and Akira look at him like he's crazy. “Trust me! I saw Takemi do it with a calf at a dairy farm. It helps knock fluid out of the lungs. C'mon! We're running out of time. We have to do something!”

“Okay, we'll do it,” Haru agrees. She and Ryuji take hold of the front legs while Akira grabs the back. They lift the foal up a couple of feet off the ground and then release. It hits the floor with a bodily thud.

Fluid pools out of the foal's mouth and nose and Ryuji considers for a moment that maybe he's made a mistake. By some miracle, it begins to cough and sputter. It takes in a few wheezing breaths before opening its eyes.

“Oh my god, it worked.” Ryuji gasps, exchanging wide-eyed looks with Haru and Akira.

“We should give him some room,” Haru suggests. Everyone clears the stall to give the foal and Lady time to recover. Ryuji watches them both like a hawk, his heart still pounding inside his chest. Lady is quick to rise to her feet, but the foal takes longer. Fifteen long minutes pass before it finally decides that it's ready to sit up.

It folds it's spindly legs up under its stomach, rotating so that it can lift its head up out of the straw. Lady steps over by its side. She spends a few minutes sniffing and occasionally licking it. Eventually affirming the bond between mother and baby.

Ryuji leans heavy against the stall door. All the adrenaline has drained from his body, leaving him weak and light-headed. He feels close to passing out, but he remains with the others long enough to see the tiny horse stagger upright. It stumbles on its new legs and Ryuji snorts in amusement. He knows all too well how it feels.

“I think everything will be okay now,” Haru tells him, but her words are very far away. “There's a shower in the clubhouse bathroom. Go get cleaned up.”

“M'kay.” Ryuji mumbles as the world shifts in front of his eyes.

Akira has an arm locked around his waist and is half leading and half dragging him to the bathroom. When they get there, Ryuji tries to be of help in getting his pants off. His hands are shaking and his fingers don' have enough strength to grip. He gives up quickly and lets Akira handle it for him.

“Say something,” Akira mumbles, his voice filled with concern. He waves a hand in front of Ryuji's face. “Are you in there?”

“I'm in here,” Ryuji says with a soft snort of laughter. The sound rattles his lungs and comes out wheezy. He curls his arms around himself, mustering up enough energy to feel embarrassed of his naked state. “Don't go lookin' at anything.”

“Ryuji,” Akira sighs in exasperation. “Come on. Let's get you cleaned up.”

Akira hangs onto him as he steps over into the shower, standing on trembling legs. Akira climbs in beside him, staying close by so that he can continue to help. His arms snake around Ryuji's body to turn the water on and adjust the temperature.

“You're gonna get wet,” Ryuji warns.

“I know. It's okay.”

Ryuji relaxes as the warm spray of water bounces off his back. With some prompting, he leans his head forward to rest it against Akira's chest. He shuts his eyes and listens to the hiss of the shower spray. Soft hands move over his skin, washing all the unpleasantness from it. He basks in the attention, it's basically all he has the mind left to do.

When the water suddenly cuts off, he can't help feeling disappointed. He opens his eyes and lifts his head up, though it sags back against the walls of the shower. Akira is staring intensely at him, gray irises shining like polished silver.

“You were amazing,” Akira whispers, leaning in to press their lips together. He brings his arms up to encircle Ryuji's body, holding onto him tightly. Ryuji leans into the kiss, submitting his entire being to it. His eyes begin to sting, and he thinks he might be crying.

Oh well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Jam: Grip-Seeb, Bastille
> 
> Crying bois are the best bois. You can't convince me otherwise.


	4. Far Far Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Akira and Ryuji take the next step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little late! Work has been kicking my ass and I'm really starting to feel run down. Thankfully tomorrow (today?) I have a day off so I can rest some. You could say this chapter was partly inspired by my own state of exhaustion. 
> 
> Also, this thing was roughly edited. I know I keep talking about how tired I am, but I'm literally sitting here nodding off. So I'm putting it up however ugly it may be. 
> 
> It's still 9/4 somewhere!
> 
> Forgot to say this the first time, but a very lightly descript trigger warning for my emetophobic peeps.

Ryuji wakes to find himself laid out over one of the clubhouse couches. It's a testament to his exhaustion that he doesn't remember changing clothes or going to bed. He shifts and finds that his head is resting atop one of Akira's thighs. He's asleep with his head tucked against the back of the couch and his body curled in. It looks insanely uncomfortable.  
  
“Akira,” Ryuji whispers, but the sleeping man doesn't wake. He tries again, raising his voice. “Akira.”  
  
“Mmm?” Comes a sleepy reply as Akira opens his eyes. “S'fine. Go back to sleep.”  
  
“No way. Let me make some room for you to lay down.”  
  
“Stay. I like having your head on my lap.”  
  
“Dude, what the hell?” Ryuji feels heat rise to his face. Akira lifts his hand up to trail his fingers lightly over his cheeks. It's unexpectedly soothing. “You look smooshed.”  
  
“I'm okay,” Akira assures him, settling back against the couch again. “Get some more sleep.”  
  
“Okay, okay. I'll try.”  
  
It's not hard. His body is already halfway there before the words are out of his mouth. He supposes it's fine, he did help deliver a foal the night before.  
  
The bright mid-morning sun wakes him a second time. His head has been relocated to a pillow and Akira is nowhere to be found. When he sits up off the couch, he finds his friends clustered together in the room's tiny kitchen. They're trying to make breakfast quietly, no doubt to keep from waking him. He makes a big show of stretching and yawning to let them know he's up.  
  
He's not expecting Takemi to appear in front of him, “Ryuji.”  
  
“Oh shit-! Don't scare me like that!” He tells her, his whole body jolting from surprise. She's wearing a serious expression and it occurs to him that she might have some bad news. He glances anxiously over his shoulder and tries to read the expressions of his friends. Notably Haru. Everyone seems to be in good spirits. He turns back to Takemi. “Everythin' okay?”  
  
“Everything is fine,” She tells him, and he sighs as the tension leaves his body. “Sorry, I could have approached that better.”  
  
“There's always a next time. I guess?”  
  
“I have to get back to the clinic. I've been here all morning. Both mother and baby seem to be fine despite last night's complications.”  
  
“So they're gonna be okay?” He asks, to be certain.  
  
“I don't see any reason why they won't be,” Takemi says, vague as usual. “If I'm being honest, I didn't expect the foal to live. I thought if you could get it out we could at least save the mother. You went above and beyond.”  
  
“I'm not that useless.”  
  
“I didn't say you were. Even more experienced vets would have found that delivery difficult. I want you to think about what that could mean for your future. You might have an unusual talent for working under pressure. In a job like this, that's key.”  
  
“I'll think about it,” Ryuji says earnestly, moved by Takemi's words. He wasn't expecting her high praise. “I'm glad everythin' is okay.”  
  
“Get some rest. I'll see you back at the clinic on Monday,” She tells him, moving towards the door. Once she's gone, he rises to his feet and turns around to see his friends staring at him.  
  
“Uh, hey?” He says. It breaks them out of whatever spell they're in. Haru moves away from the others and comes to throw her arms around his neck. Her hug is soft and warm, and he can't help leaning into it.  
  
“Thank you for what you did for Lady,” Her voice is muffled against his shoulder, but he can hear the sincerity in it. “Losing the foal would have been bad enough but losing her-... Thank you.”  
  
“Nah, I didn't do anything.”  
  
“You did and you should be proud of yourself for it.”  
  
He hugs her back, a tight twining of his arms that leaves them both breathless and laughing.  
  
“Come get something to eat,” She commands once he's released her. “Ann and Shiho are making omelets and I've got Yusuke running the waffle maker.”  
  
“Big breakfast, I like it,” He muses as they join up with the others. They too bathe him in praise and attention and it all feels surreal. The friends he thought he had lost forever are suddenly all around him. They're patting him on the back and telling him that they're proud of him. He's on the edge of becoming tearful, but he holds it all in.  
  
“You've got an interesting look in your eyes,” Akira tells him. Breakfast is ready and everyone has spread out over the clubhouse. Ryuji and Akira have returned to the couch and for a while, they had been eating in comfortable silence.  
  
“Mmm?” Ryuji hums around a too-large bite of waffle. He rushes to chew through it. “Whaddya mean?”  
  
“I can't tell if it's happy or sad.”  
  
“Ah, maybe a little of both,” He sighs, settling his silverware at the edges of his plate. “I went for so long not havin' anyone around. Now it's all been flipped and I guess I'm waitin' on the other shoe to drop. I've gotten used to knowin' that anything good always brings something bad right behind it.”  
  
“Ryuji,” Akira breathes, his lips turning down at the edges. “That can't be true.”  
  
“It is, but like, it's fine y'know? I've gotten used to it. I know not to get my hopes up.”  
  
“That's not going to happen this time, I promise.”  
  
“You can't make that kind of promise,” says Ryuji in a firm voice. “I've forgiven you for what happened before. I want to move past it, but I told you, this is who I am now. I'm not some dumbass that thinks 'well this sucks but tomorrow will be better'. That me is gone.”  
  
When Akira speaks, it's quiet and his eyes remain firmly fixed on Ryuji's face, “I don't want it to be gone.”  
  
Ryuji can't think of what to say to that. Part of him feels like he should apologize for having become jaded. The other half of him knows it wouldn't change anything. They're going to have to work through things together and find a way to accept their new normal. Accept _his_ new normal.  
  
It isn't going to be easy, Ryuji can already feel himself struggling. He's waiting to wake up and find that everything has gone back to the way it used to be. His friends will drift away and Akira will leave again.   
  
“Can I kiss ya?” Ryuji asks, totally unprompted. It surprises himself and it certainly surprises Akira.  
  
“People could see,” Akira tells him, though that's a Ryuji-centric problem. “I don't mind but I want to make sure you're alright with it.”  
  
“I know. It's-” Well 'fine' isn't really the right word. So instead he goes with, “It's okay. They're our friends. I know they ain't gonna judge us or nothin'.”  
  
“Of course not.”  
  
Now that they've stopped to talk about it, Ryuji's found that he's lost his will. He glances over his shoulder towards the others. They're busy with their own conversations. He turns his eyes back towards Akira. His gray eyes are alluringly beautiful up close, not that Ryuji would ever tell him so. That would be embarrassing. Which reminds him, he needs to get back to that kiss-  
  
“Okay, I'm gonna do it,” He tells Akira, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. He's about to lean in when the other man starts snickering. “The hell you laughin' for?”  
  
“I'm sorry, you're just so serious-” Akira explains, clearing his throat to find some composure. “You don't have to ask permission or tell me when you're going to do it. Act naturally.”  
  
“Naturally.”  
  
“Do what feels right.”  
  
“Y'know, this was way easier when we were hormone-fueled teenagers,” Ryuji mutters. He's stalling for time. If he can get his heart to stop pounding so hard- Akira makes the decision for him.  
  
Suddenly their mouths are together. Akira has enough of a mind to grab their plates. He sets them safely on the nearby coffee table, but Ryuji can only halfway pay attention to that. His whole body is buzzing with excitement. If it wasn't for Akira's strong hands holding him back, he'd have climbed over into his lap.  
  
“-'ji,” Akira manages to say between Ryuji's insistent kissing. He tastes sweet, an after effect of the waffle syrup. Ryuji's tongue delves into Akira's open mouth, chasing that sweetness. Akira makes a soft noise, maybe a hum, maybe a moan. It sends a jolt of pleasure down Ryuji's spine, and he does everything he can to make him do it again.  
  
“You two wanna get a room or something?!” Comes Futaba's voice from across the room. It brings Ryuji's back to himself, and he's all of a sudden aware of where they are and the company they have. He opens his eyes and finds that his arms are locked tight around Akira's neck. Oh look at that, he did get into his lap after all. Akira's staring at him, his eyes wide with surprise, though there's something a little lustier mixed in too.  
  
“Damn,” He says to which Ryuji nods in agreement. He certainly didn't mean to get so-  
  
“Sorry,” Ryuji offers back, though he's not actually sorry at all. He stays right where he is inside Akira's lap. He spares his friends a sidelong glance. It's a bag of mixed emotions. Ann's grinning widely, while Makoto and Yusuke seem almost too embarrassed to look. Futaba is back on her phone, though her eyes stray in their direction. Haru and Shiho have gone back to eating, but they're wearing smiles almost as smug as Ann's. It's clear that this will be a topic of conversation for later.  
  
“Breakfast,” Akira reminds him. They reluctantly part and then Ryuji finds his plate back on top of his legs. “Was kind of nice to see your switch get flipped.”  
  
“Heh, well it's not gonna happen all the time, but-” Ryuji cuts into his waffles with renewed vigor.  
  
After breakfast, Haru takes him back out into the barn to visit Lady and her foal one more time. The tiny horse looks leagues better than it did hours before. It's standing up on it's ridiculously long and skinny legs, moving around the stall with confidence. Its coat has dried out into soft and downy fur that's the color of caramel. A long white stripe runs down the center of its forehead, zig-zagged at the base like a lightning bolt. Ryuji stares in amazement.  
  
“He's awesome,” he finally says after several moments of speechless wonder. “I mean, I've never seen a baby horse this small. It looks like a tiny version of Lady.”  
  
Haru laughs, her whole face alight with happiness. “Well yeah, he is her son. Of course, he would look like her.”  
  
“What're you gonna name him?”  
  
“I'm not sure yet. Do you have any ideas?”  
  
“Ah no, I ain't the one to ask. You're lookin' at the guy who named his female dog Captain Kidd.” Ryuji snorts with amusement, especially when he sees the look of surprise on Haru's face.  
  
Ann and Shiho appear from down the hallway. They're holding hands as they walk down the aisle towards Ryuji and Haru. He can't help staring at the two of them. The way they move together, clearly so comfortable being in each other's presence. It's hard to imagine him ever being like that with Akira. The other man is handsy. Ryuji enjoys the attention, but there's a part of him that's still trying to learn how to accept physical touch again.  
  
“Isn't he cute?” Shiho croons. She comes to stand at Ryuji's side so that she can stare in at the foal. “I know everyone keeps telling you this, but you were awesome last night.”  
  
“Thank you,” Ryuji replies sheepishly. “It's kind of amazin' to see that my hard work paid off. I thought for sure I had messed something up.”  
  
“Have some confidence in yourself, Ryuji. You always have a way of making things work for you.”  
  
“Akira said the same thing.”  
  
“Well yeah, then it must be true,” Ann comes to stand on the other side of him. She bumps her elbow against his. “How are you feeling? You look run down.”  
  
Ryuji runs a hand back through his hair and shrugs. The action has his sore shoulder muscles screaming in protest as he says, “Oh man, I'm so tired. I could pass out any second.”  
  
“We were thinking of hanging out here with Haru for the day, but you should get home for some rest.”  
  
“What about Akira and Yusuke? They rode in with me, I don't wanna make them leave.”  
  
“I'll give them a ride home,” Ann offers. “We'll be taking Futaba home anyway.”  
  
“Yeah. I'll head home then.” Ryuji decides. He looks in at the foal one more time, his mind skimming over some possible names. A single word appears inside his mind. “Storm.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Haru, what about 'Storm'? I mean, he's got that lightnin' bolt on his face. I guess he could be called Lightning too...”  
  
“Storm,” Haru breathes, and he can tell by her tone that she likes it. “Ryuji, it's perfect. Markings aside, he was born during a storm. It's a good reminder of how lucky we are to have him here.”  
  
“Whaddya think lil guy?” Ryuji coos to the foal. Storm approaches the front of the stall, lifting his nose up to sniff Ryuji's arms. “See? Already knows his name.”  
  
Ann rolls her eyes, smiling wryly, “Okay, okay. Someone's over-tired. You should get home.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
They all head back to the clubhouse. Once there, Ryuji begins packing his things. The action doesn't go unnoticed by the others.  
  
“You're leaving?” Futaba asks, coming to stand at his side while he zips up his overnight bag. Her lips are twisted down in a clear expression of disappointment.  
  
“Yeah, I'm pretty beat,” He tells her, laughing when it causes her to scowl all the more. “What's that face for?”  
  
“It's been a long time since we've hung out with everyone.”  
  
“I know. I hate to leave but I don't think I'm going to be good company.”  
  
“Will you be okay to drive home alone?” asks Yusuke.  
  
“I'll be fi-” Before he has a chance to finish, Akira's appeared by his side.  
  
“Do you need me to go with you?” He asks, though there's the clarity of hesitation in his voice. It's obvious that he wants to stay. Like Futaba, he's enjoying the company of all their friends gathered together. Ryuji tries not to be put off by that. After all, he has no right to monopolize him.  
  
“No way, man. Stay here. Ann told me she can give you and Yusuke a ride back.”  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
“I'm sure,” Ryuji insists firmly. He throws his bag over his shoulder and begins moving towards the door. “It was real fun hangin' out with you guys. I'm gonna go home and sleep.”  
  
“That sounds like a wise decision,” Makoto says, standing up so that she can hug his neck before he leaves. He's passed around to all the women, hugging each one of them in turn and receiving a kiss on the cheek from Ann.  
  
“Shiho and I were going to have a party with everyone at the lake before we head back to Tokyo,” Ann says low in his ear. “We're still working out the details. Will you come?”  
  
“Yeah, I'll be there,” Ryuji promises as he steps free of her hold. It causes a brief wave of dizziness to wash over him.  
  
“You okay? You look a little pale.”  
  
“I'm good,” He insists. Thankfully the moment has passed. He bids everyone farewell as he leaves the clubhouse behind. It's a short walk from the barn back to where he parked his car. The air is so thick with moisture it feels like he's swimming. By the time he actually makes it there, he's covered in sweat and nearly panting from exhaustion. He struggles to get his key into the ignition and start the car but once it's on, he blasts the AC.  
  
The cool air seems to be exactly what he needed. It wakes him up as he drives down the long drive leading to the property gate. Once he's out and back on the main road, he feels even better. It's the first time he's been truly 'alone' since his last shift at the clinic. Though he enjoyed the time he spent with his friends, it's not something he's used to. He finally understands what Futaba means when she says she gets socially exhausted. He's certainly that.  
  
Driving through the farmlands is enjoyable if a little boring. He pops a CD into the stereo and adjusts the volume. Due to the age of his car, he might be the only one in town who still has to burn CDs. Although there's a certain sense of nostalgia that comes with it. He has fond memories of taking CDs with him to school to trade with his friends. Ann's were always his favorite, though he never would have admitted it back then. He couldn't help enjoying her mixes of silly, and often sappy, pop songs.  
  
He drives on for a while, squinting his eyes against the glare of the midday sun. Even with his car visor down, the sun is mercilessly bright. It makes his eyes sting and his head feel dizzy. He wonders if it's going to be like that forever. Endless days lost in a fog of fatigue. He doesn't fully notice the moment his eyes start to close. Nor does he notice the steering wheel drifting.  
  
Something inside his brain warns him that he's been in a similar situation before...  
  
The car veers off course. He jerks his head upright to see that he's driving in the wrong lane. It's only by dumb luck that he's on a country road and not a busy highway. There are no other cars around to witness his blunder, but the damage is already done. Fear and shock spread through his veins like poison. He jerks the wheel into alignment. Once he's back in the correct lane, he moves over onto the shoulder of the road and parks.  
  
“Oh shit,” He breathes, taking a moment to realize what's happened, and what _could_ have happened.  
  
Something hot and vile sits at the back of his throat. He rips his seat belt off and jumps from the car, faltering a bit when his legs try to go out from under him. He gets a pace or two away before he ejects his stomach. Shaking and weak, he hobbles back to the car and climbs inside. His head is spinning nebulously and his breath comes out in shuddering exhales. He sets the seat back so that he can lay down.  
  
Despite the heat, he's shivering with chills. The air conditioning is no longer a welcomed presence in his life, so he turns it down. He's in an impossible situation and some part of his mind understands the dangers of it. He doesn't feel well enough to drive anymore, nor safe enough. He's already tried to run himself off the road one time, there's no need to do it again. Feeling around inside his pockets he pulls out his phone. The Okumura residence isn't far from where he is, he's certain that Ann or Haru will come to get him. He needs to make that call-  
  
“Fuck,” He says between clenched teeth. His phone is out of cell range again, the price of having to rely on a cheap service provider. He tosses the device out of pure frustration, watching as it hits the passenger side door and falls into the floorboard. It lands on its back without so much as a scratch on it. He doesn't know whether to feel annoyed or grateful.  
  
The longer he lies there, the worse he feels. The sun is baking him, he knows this by the mass amount of sweat building up all over his body. His mind is having a hard time accepting that, especially when he feels like he's freezing instead. His fevered brain is so overwhelmed by conflicting sensations. Forcing himself to sit up, he rolls down all the windows so that he can turn the car off. The last thing he needs is for the battery to run out.  
  
His only option at this point is to wait until he feels well enough to try driving again.  
  
* * *  
  
“Thanks for inviting us over,” Akira tells Haru as he walks beside her. The entire group is headed back to the main house so that they can load up into their cars and head home.  
  
“It was no problem! I'm actually more grateful that you all showed up,” Haru hooks her arm through one of his. “I'm happy to hear that you'll be in town for a while longer. Oh um, I'm sorry again about the apartment situation. Are things going well at Ryuji's house?”  
  
“Yeah. They're good. I mean, he seems okay with it.”  
  
“You two look like you are getting along well,” Yusuke comments.  
  
“Well yeah, Inari. Of course, they're getting along well,” Futaba goads, jabbing the tall man in the side with one of her fingers. “Didn't you see them making out this morning?”  
  
“I saw them kissing rather passionately.”  
  
“They were making out.”  
  
“It was a bit of both,” Akira admits, smiling privately to himself.  
  
“Speaking of, has anyone heard from him?” Shiho asks, glancing around the group. It occurs to Akira that he and Ryuji still haven't exchanged phone numbers. They keep forgetting to do it. He turns to Ann and Futaba, as they seem to be the likely candidates.  
  
Ann shakes her head, “I haven't heard anything.”  
  
“Me either,” says Futaba. She shrugs her shoulders. “It's not like he reports back to me. I bet he went home and crashed.”  
  
“You're probably right,” Akira agrees, though there remains a voice of worry at the back of his mind.  
  
Ann's rental car is blessedly roomy. He sits in the back on the passenger side with Yusuke across from him, and Futaba tucked into the middle. They haven't even started driving, and she's already falling asleep against his shoulder. It reminds him that they were close once and he regrets that they've lost that. Like Ryuji, there's a wall that they've put up, and he isn't sure how to get past it.  
  
He supposes that it's something that's going to take time.  
  
Haru drives ahead of them, leading the way back to town with Makoto at her co-pilot. The sky outside is growing dark, painting the atmosphere with a pale pink and purple glow. Akira leans his head against the window to watch the sun go down as they drive. He's almost asleep himself when something odd catches his eye. Ann and Shiho have seen it too. Both of them are sitting up straight in their seats.  
  
There on the side of the road, is an unmistakable white Honda.  
  
“Oh my god,” Ann gasps, pulling off. Haru and Makoto are already a step ahead of them. They're climbing out of Haru's car right as Ann moves in to park hers.  
  
“Take her,” Akira says, gently pushing Futaba off on Yusuke. He, Ann, and Shiho rush over to where Haru and Makoto are standing. For a brief moment, none of them know what to do. They look at each other with wide, startled eyes.  
  
“It's Ryuji's car, right?” Haru asks in a soft voice. She casts a nervous glance over her shoulder towards it. “I-... I just saw it there. It doesn't look damaged.”  
  
Ann's voice is half hysteric as she grits out, “We need to go check inside.”  
  
No one makes a move to do so. Akira's pulse is roaring inside his ears and his head spins with dizzy panic. He should have asked for Ryuji's number. He should have told him to text when he got home. He should have gone with him. His breathing is nervous as he begins walking. Haru's right, the car doesn't look damaged. As he comes up beside it, he can see the windows are down.  
  
He pulls out his phone to illuminate the dark car, nearly dropping it when he sees Ryuji inside. He reaches in through the driver's side window and unlocks the door. Ryuji is very very still and for a moment Akira is loath to touch him. He opens the car door and leans in.  
  
“Ryuji?” He whispers, reaching out a tentative hand to touch one of his shoulders. Heat is coming off of him in waves and Akira recoils from the shock of it. He reaches out a hand to feel Ryuji's forehead, confirming the fever that he already suspected. “Dammit! Ann, I need you over here!”  
  
Ann's shoes crunch on the gravel as she jogs over to the car. “What's wrong?! Is he okay?!”  
  
“He's burning up. We have to get him out of here.”  
  
Akira backs himself out of the car and then sets about removing Ryuji. The blond is dead weight in his arms as he pulls him upright. Ryuji makes a soft noise of protest as his head rolls forward against Akira's chest. Makoto comes over to help and the two of them work to free him from the car. It's anything but graceful. His body sags between them until Akira can shift him into a better position for lifting.  
  
“Someone's going to have to drive his car back. They'll tow it if it stays here,” Haru says lightly, hovering at the back end of the Honda.  
  
“I'll do it,” Yusuke offers, coming over from the rental car to see about helping. Futaba is by his side, her eyes wide with shock.  
  
“I'll go with Inari,” She offers. “You'll have more room to lay him down if I do that.”  
  
“Thank you,” Akira tells them. “I saw his keys on the passenger seat. Go ahead and try them out to make sure the car starts.”  
  
“Let's go, Futaba.” Yusuke says and the two of them move on. Akira pulls Ryuji tighter against his chest as he hurries towards Ann's rental. She's already got the back door open for him.  
  
“Looks like they got the car started,” Shiho reports as he and Ann get Ryuji loaded into the car.  
  
“I'll lead,” Haru calls as she climbs back into her own vehicle. Makoto's fast to join her.   
  
“Ride in the back with him,” Ann tells Akira gently. She sets a firm hand on his shoulder. “He'll be okay.”  
  
“Maybe,” Akira whispers. He hates how scared he is. How uncertain things feel. “I should have gone with him. I saw how tired he was.”  
  
“We all saw it. We couldn't have known it would turn out like this.”  
  
“I know. I just-”  
  
“Akira, we have to go,” Ann says urgently, and she's right. They break away from each other to return to their seats. Akira sits in the back with Ryuji's head on his lap. He's curled himself into a tight ball, the way he had been the day before in his bed. At the time, Akira had suspected he was having a nightmare. He hopes with every fiber of his being that that isn't the case this time. He wants Ryuji to rest peacefully in spite of the fever.  
  
The ride back into town seems to stretch on and on. Akira's hands card through Ryuji's hair and it seems to soothe him. Whenever he stops, Ryuji makes soft noises of distress that set everyone's nerves on edge. So he tries to keep it up despite the ache in his wrist. His mind is so absorbed in what he's doing, that he barely notices when they've arrived back in town. The fluorescent lighting of a parking lot finally pulls him from his stupor.  
  
“We're at the hospital,” Ann explains, putting the car into park. “Makoto and Haru have gone ahead to get some help.”  
  
“I've got to stretch my legs,” Shiho tells Ann before stepping free of the car. Ann lingers for a moment before getting out to join her. Once they're gone, Akira allows the tension to leave his body. His shoulders fall, and he exhales a breath he didn't know he was holding. When he glances down, Ryuji's looking up at him through half-lidded eyes. His heart jolts at the sight.  
  
“Ryuji?” He whispers, cupping the side of his face. He runs his thumb gently along Ryuji's jaw. “Can you hear me?”  
  
“Yeah,” Ryuji rasps, shutting his eyes again. “I don't know where I am.”  
  
“We're at the hospital.”  
  
“Shit. Not again.”  
  
“Sorry, but it's true,” He says, finding it hard not to laugh a little bit at Ryuji's reaction. It's a good way to release some stress and Ryuji doesn't seem bothered by it. “Do you remember what happened?”  
  
“Kinda,” Ryuji mumbles, his voice heavy with sleep. “Almost crashed the car. It was real scary. Felt sick. Just wanted to sleep. You were so far, far, away... In Tokyo. In my dreams. Gone again.”  
  
“Shhh. Okay, okay. We can talk about it later.”  
  
“M'kay.”  
  
Before Akira can do anything else, the hospital crew has arrived. He's forced out of the car so that they can work, and he tries not to be offended by it. What they're doing is important, he knows that. Still, he can't help feeling like his separation from Ryuji is going to be permanent. He stands with the others, watching as they load Ryuji onto a stretcher.  
  
The hospital crew doesn't say a single word as they transfer him onto a gurney and wheel him away.  
  
* * *  
  
Ryuji wakes up and immediately knows where he is. He recognizes the smell of chemical sanitation. The feeling of starchy sheets and a plastic-covered mattress. Panic wells up inside his chest before he even has a chance to open his eyes. What has he done this time? How bad is it?  
  
“Ryuji, it's okay,” His mother's voice, soft and soothing at his side. He allows his eyes to open, searching for her face and calming when he finds it. “You're okay.”  
  
“What happened?” He asks, his voice rough and scratchy.  
  
“The doctor says dehydration and exhaustion,” Another voice, this one on his other side. He swivels his head around to see Akira there. Relief. Joy. Surprise. Ryuji feels so many things all at once. He reaches for Akira, though his hand gets stopped by the short length of his IV line. Akira's hands closed the distance, curling around his. “We brought you here last night. Do you remember?”  
  
“Kind of. It's foggy.”  
  
“I'm going to get some coffee,” His mother says, recapturing his attention. He glances at her and she smiles. “I won't be long.”  
  
“'kay,” He mutters, watching her stand and then leave the room. When he turns back to Akira, he can see the lines of stress etched into his face. He scrubs a hand through his mess of curls, blinking tiredly. “Now who's the exhausted one?”  
  
“Mmm, I should check myself in to get a free bed,” Akira retorts, though his eyes glitter with amusement.  
  
“You're high if you think it's gonna be free. You'd pay less staying at a hotel.”  
  
“How much does it cost to stay at the Sakamoto Hotel?”  
  
“Billions of dollars,” Ryuji says, trying to keep up their lighthearted joking.  
  
“How do you feel?” Akira wonders, squeezing Ryuji's hand.  
  
“I'm good. Better.”  
  
“Probably from the IV.”  
  
“Probably,” Ryuji agrees, then says, “For real, man. Go home. Get some rest.”  
  
“I will. I want to talk to you first though,” Akira's expression sobers. He rubs a hand over his face again, his shoulders sagging under the weight of whatever he has to say.  
  
“Oh, uh, okay. What about?”  
  
“You know what about.”  
  
“About... ... My bein' in the hospital?”  
  
“That's part of it, but not the main issue,” Akira huffs, actually sounding a bit angry. “What are we doing?”  
  
“Sitting in a hospital room-”  
  
“Ryuji,” Akira says his name in a sharp tone and it makes him flinch. “I'm trying to be patient because I know you've been through a lot in the last couple of days. Maybe I'm rushing into this but I can't wait anymore. I don't know if I can be just your friend and you don't seem to know if you want anything beyond that.”  
  
“I'm tryin' to figure it out,” Ryuji protests weakly. He pulls his hand out from under both of Akira's. “You left me. You got up the next morning, walked out the door, and left. I'm trying to forgive you but it still hurts.”  
  
“I know what I did was wrong, but this and that are separate things.”  
  
“No, they're not. You can't come rollin' back in here acting like it never happened.”  
  
“And you can't hold it over me forever,” Akira hisses irritably. “I can't be with you as anything, friend, or otherwise, if you're going to always hold onto that grudge.”  
  
“I need more time,” Ryuji insists. He doesn't like the direction the conversation is going in. He can already see their fragile relationship beginning to crack.  
  
“Ryuji, you could have _died_. Do you have any idea what it was like finding you that way?! I didn't know if I was ever going to get another chance to-” Akira's voice cracks. He stands up and paces the length of the room. When he's settled some, he returns to his seat by the bed. “I'm in love with you. I probably always have been.”  
  
The words hang heavy in the air and Ryuji can't help recoiling away from them. It's too soon, too fast, but there's a part of him that's been waiting to hear those words. Ever since his confession four years ago, he felt like he was holding his breath, waiting for a reply. Now that he has it, he doesn't know what to do.  
  
“I didn't know,” He confesses. “I didn't know you felt that way.”  
  
“Which is why we've needed to talk about it.”  
  
“I mean, I guess I should have known. You've been uh, very forward with your physical affections. I guess there was no point in holding back after we slept together the other night.”  
  
“Huh?” Akira's eyebrows shoot up and his face goes slack with surprise. “When we slept together?”  
  
“The night of the party. Look, I'm gonna come out 'n say it. I don't remember jack. I just know I woke up in bed with you naked and me feeling sticky in... Some places.”  
  
All at once, Akira starts laughing. It's the kind that encompasses the whole body and his face is quickly turning red.  
  
“What the hell? Now you're gonna laugh at me?” Ryuji bristles. “C'mon! Stop laughing!”  
  
“I'm sorry,” Akira says between wheezes. He fights to get his breath back. “I just-... The sticky thing.”  
  
“Well isn't that how it works?!”  
  
“Ryuji no!” And then he's laughing again. Ryuji turns away, unable to escape the prison that is his hospital bed. He doesn't understand what's going on or what's so funny and it's beginning to wear on him. Finally, Akira calms down enough to say, “We didn't sleep together.”  
  
“What?” This catches his attention. He glances over his shoulder, prompting an explanation.  
  
“Ryuji you were so drunk. You spilled the drinks you were taking to Ann and Haru and then slipped on them.”  
  
“I... Did?”  
  
“Yes. You fell so hard that it kind of knocked you out. Or the alcohol did it. One or the other. The drinks got all over your clothes. That's why you were.” He snickers and then catches himself. “-sticky.”  
  
“But you were-”  
  
“Shirtless. Not naked. I guess it's my fault for getting under the covers. You keep your house really cold,” Akira runs a hand back through his hair. His eyes do that little crinkling thing. Ryuji can't resist it. He can't stay mad when Akira goes and does that. “You asked to kiss me, and we did kiss for a while. Obviously I got a little carried away with it. Nothing else happened though, I promise you.”  
  
“Oh man, I feel so stupid. I've been worrying about it for days.”  
  
“I'm sorry. I should have been more clear about what happened.”  
  
“Nah man, that was my bad,” Ryuji grumbles, trying his best to hide how overwhelmingly embarrassed he is. “I'm sorry. For uh, a lot of things, but mostly that you had to worry about me. I'm used to doing everything alone. It's hard for me to be around everyone. I'm nervous around you, but I don't want to be.”  
  
“Are you afraid I'll leave again?” Akira asks, his voice softening.  
  
“Boss gave you a time limit. I can't have you for six months and then lose you.”  
  
“The six months thing with Sojiro is just-... Le Blanc has to be handled like a business, not like a rusty heirloom. He gave his business partner six months. I already told him I wanted to accept my half. Running Le Blanc has always been something I wanted to do. I'm not going anywhere.”  
  
“Can you promise that?”  
  
“Yes,” Akira says and it's with such certainty that Ryuji finds himself believing it. “This is my home. This is where I want to be. You are a part of that. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you. Which is why I can't wait any longer. I don't want to lose this chance.”  
  
The room grows quiet as they both fall into their own thoughts. Ryuji is still trying to absorb the seriousness of Akira's words. He also realizes that the issue might be less about his inability to forgive Akira and more about his inability to find peace with himself.  
  
“When you left, it felt like everything inside me broke,” Ryuji begins in a soft voice. “That's the only way I know how to explain it. Everything broke and I just left all the pieces sittin' there. I could have reached out to you after you left. I kept contact with Ann 'n Shiho, so why not you? Or Yusuke? Or Haru? I pushed everyone I cared about away.”  
  
“I did too,” Akira agrees. “I could have reached out to you too.”  
  
Ryuji takes a deep breath and lifts his eyes up to meet Akira's. “I don't want to waste any more time either. So let's give this thing a try.”  
  
“You mean that?”  
  
“Yeah, man. I'm all in.”  
  
* * *  
  
When Ryuji's mother returns from her coffee run, it's to find both men laying on the bed instead of just her son. They're twined together, fitting like matching pieces of a puzzle. With a gentle sigh, she tucks them both in and turns out the lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Jam: Rely - Flor


	5. Summertime Sadness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ryuji dreams of the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm running about a day behind on Pegoryu week now. :( It's been very hard to keep up. This chapter ended up longer than any of the others. I feel like it's got a lot of emotion in it though, so I hope you all enjoy. I can't promise I'll have everything caught up before the event is over, but I'll definitely see this story through to the end! Only two more chapters!

By noon the following day, Ryuji is released from the hospital. They let him go under strict orders that he is to go home, rest, and intake more fluids. He's not about to argue. Although he's feeling better, it doesn't mean he's feeling well.

He does, however, try to protest when the attending doctor insists he is wheelchaired out. After a botched attempt at walking on his own, she bans him from all forms of vertical mobility. He feels like he's spearheading his own pathetic parade. It's comprised of himself, the nurse, his mother, and Akira at the back.

“This is so effin' embarrasin',” Ryuji mumbles. It doesn't earn him any pity, and he's forced to sit through it until the end.

Once they've cleared the hospital doors, the nurse comes around to help him stand. She takes the chair back inside, signaling that he's a free man once more. He latches onto Akira for support, much preferring him to the hospital staff. Ryuji leans against him as they make their way through the parking lot to his mother's car. After surrendering her Honda to him, she saved up the money to buy a shiny new one. Its dark blue paint gleams as they approach.

“Embarrassment isn't so bad a thing if it keeps you from repeating the same mistake,” His mother scolds. Now that he's out of imminent danger, she's switched from concerned-mom to disapproving-mom. He lays stretched across the back seat, forced to endure her lecture the entire way home. It's hard not to notice the sheepish, and somewhat amused looks Akira throws his way.

At home, he's greeted by his friends. Each one of them has shown up at his house to oversee his return. They don't stay long, knowing that he's in need of rest, but he's grateful enough just seeing their faces. His mother stays a bit longer, lingering at his side while he struggles through a bowl of watered-down soup. It's horrible, and he hates it, but he'd do almost anything to make her feel better.

Despite all her huffing and puffing, he knows she's worried about him. He can see it in the lines of her face and in her eyes. The whole ordeal has been a painful reminder of how things were after the accident.

She had been his almost constant companion during his first few weeks at home. She made him get up, even when all he could do was make it from his bed to the couch. When he woke from his nightmares, which was often, she held him until he calmed back down. She kept up with his medicines and his doctor's appointments. She goaded him into taking semi-regular showers. She was his chef and his housekeeper.

He never would have made it without her.

And he swore to himself he would never put her through that again. Yet here she is in his kitchen, looking like she's about to cry each time he takes another bite of soup. He really doesn't deserve her.

“I'm okay,” He promises when it's finally time for her to go. They walk to the door together so that he can hug her goodbye. “Akira's stayin' with me.”

“I know he is,” she sighs and pulls away to smooth her hands down his arms. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, Ma. Anything.”

“I'm not trying to assume anything, but that's a lot of hickies on your neck-”

“Oh my god,” Ryuji brings his hands up to cover them. He had forgotten all about them. Again. “Go home, Ma.”

“I'm just wondering!” She insists, unable to keep the laughter out of her voice. She cups the side of his face. “Whatever the situation, I'm glad he's here.”

“Yeah,” Ryuji nods his head. “Me too.”

“I'll stop by the clinic tomorrow to check on you.”

“Thanks. See you then.”

Once she's gone, Akira walks out of the living room. He stops a few steps away from Ryuji, his hands shoved down into his pockets and his expression uncertain.

“What's up?” Ryuji prompts.

“Nothing changed overnight, right?” He's referring to their talk in the hospital no doubt.

“Yes. I promise. I haven't changed my mind.”

“Sorry,” Akira breathes out the apology. “I wanted to be sure.”

Before Ryuji can find the words to reassure him, the world lurches and he can feel himself wobbling. Akira catches him, muttering something offhand about 'overdoing it'. They stagger their way over to the couch. Ryuji spreads himself out over it, his head resting on its favorite place atop Akira's legs. The two of them browse through his Netflix catalog. They decide on a show centered around cooking competitions.

Ryuji spends the first two episodes fighting his way through a bright yellow sports drink. The label claims it's supposed to taste like lemon-lime, but it's more like sad salty lemon water. He naps through the third episode, dozing in and out of consciousness. Akira stays planted on the couch with him. On the edge of sleep, Ryuji can feel his soft fingers combing through hair. Occasionally they stray down to trace along the lines of his face.

Later in the day, Ryuji is woken up and given another meal of less than enjoyable soup. This time it comes with soda crackers on the side. He tries to savor them. When he finishes they return to the living room to watch more Netflix. Akira fetches him one of the popsicles that Futaba brought over for him, the kind with two sticks. They break it in half to share

“If you do anything obscene with yours, I'm gonna make you leave,” Ryuji warns him. Akira stares back at him through a pair of wide, innocent gray eyes.

“Something like what?” He asks in a meek voice.

“You _know _what.”

“It's just a popsicle, Ryuji.”

“Exactly, so eat it like one.”

“I'm not the one thinking dirty thoughts here,” Akira shoots back. He bites, literally _bites_ off the top half of his. Ryuji shudders with horror. There's no way his own teeth could handle something like that.

“Wha- I'm not!” Ryuji tries to protest, but it's clear that he's not believed. Now that he's got the thought in his head, he's loath to eat his icy snack. He waits for Akira to become engrossed in the cooking show again before attempting to lick up one side. It's grape, his favorite, that's a plus.

He flips it over, saving another drop from running down to land on his hand. Then he moves on to sucking at the top since he can't bite a piece off. He tries to be quiet about it, but inevitably his mouth makes a soft wet noise. Akira's eyes flick over towards him. He scowls in frustration.

“Hey, stop watchin'.”

“Have you thought about doing anything like that since I came back?” Akira asks. He turns his eyes back towards the TV but neither one of them is paying attention to it.

“Kinda. I had thought we had already gone there.”

“You seemed pretty upset about it.”

“Only cuz I couldn't remember,” Ryuji explains. He's finally whittled the popsicle down enough that the stick rises up out of the top. “Well, that, and I was pretty mad when you first showed up.”

Akira sighs deeply and asks, “And now?”

“I definitely want to.”

“I guess we'll have to wait for the right time.”

Ryuji's popsicle unceremoniously splits in half. One-half lands on the couch and the other on the floor.

“Oh my god,” Ryuji sighs. He stares mournfully at his now empty wooden stick. Akira, on the other hand, is losing his composure. Within seconds, he's laughing heartily. The sound is wonderful to Ryuji's ears. He gives the other man a gentle shove before he too is overcome by laughter.

“I'll get this cleaned up,” Akira says when they can both speak again. “Do you want to try for a shower?”

“You sayin' I need one?”

“A little.”

“Woooow.”

“Don't get offended, I'm going to take one too,” Akira moves to scoop the rapidly melting treat off the sofa and the carpet. “Can you make it there on your own?”

“Gonna find out,” Ryuji sets one hand on the armrest of the couch and stands. He remains upright for a full twenty seconds, no dizziness, no extreme pain, no blurry vision. He's good to go. Still, he keeps a hand on the wall as he makes his way down the hallway.

Akira calls after him to, “Leave the door cracked.”

Ryuji mumbles out 'stop fussing so much' before exiling himself to the bathroom. He strips and takes a look at himself in the mirror. The marks on his neck are beginning to fade and it's kind of disappointing. He's sure he can get more of them later. It's a nice thing to know, that he wants more of them. That things between him and Akira are going better than he could have ever imagined. He's trying, with every fiber of his being, to cast away any doubts.

The shower feels glorious. It's good to wash all the sweat and filth away. He tries not to stay in for too long to avoid overheating himself and also to save some hot water for Akira. Once he's out, he combs his hair and brushes his teeth twice.

“I feel reborn,” He tells Akira as he walks back into the living room. “It's amazin' what a shower and fresh clothes can do.”

“I'm so glad you feel better,” Akira says earnestly. “It's my turn next.”

“Hey uh... This is a weird thing to ask, but can you leave your hair down after?”

“Down? Do you like it better that way?”

“It just-... Yeah.”

“Alright, I can do that,” Akira's smiling like he's discovered some kind of secret. He leans over to kiss him on the cheek before disappearing down the hallway. Ryuji's head spins with happiness. He sits on the couch and basks in the feeling of it, his heart fluttering inside his chest.

* * *

Akira keeps his promise and wears his hair down after his shower. He also removes his contacts. Leaving them in for so long was a bad idea, but he didn't have many other options. They've left his eyes itchy and dry, so he's forced to rely on eye drops. He blinks to try to clear the excess moisture from his vision. Then remembers that he's halfway blind without his lenses anyway so it doesn't matter. He staggers out into Ryuji's bedroom.

He digs through one of his bags until he finds his glasses case. The last time he wore frames was a couple of days before leaving Tokyo. They feel a bit awkward on his face, but he can see again and that's all that matters.

“I can't believe we both have work tomorrow,” Ryuji mumbles. He's lying face down on his bed, limbs all over the place.

“Are you sure you're up to it?” Akira asks, prompting Ryuji to rotate his head to look at him. He waggles his eyebrows, pointing a finger towards the frames. Akira rolls his eyes, but he doesn't actually mind.

“Yeah. She heard about what happened from my mom. I'll be on front desk duty.”

“I know you won't like hearing this, but I'm glad.”

“You're right. I don't like hearin' it.” Ryuji sighs, a dramatic, shuddering, exhale. “You start workin' at Le Blanc tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah,” He takes a seat on the edge of the mattress. “Sojiro is going to teach me some back end stuff. Book balancing and all that. I think he's kind of relieved. Futaba's been forcing him to input everything into a computer program. He's not exactly keen on it.”

“He'll probably shove that job off on you.”

“Yeah, probably,” Akira agrees. “I'm going to make some coffee. Do you want anything?”

“You're going to drink coffee before bed?” Ryuji raises his eyebrows at him.

“I'm pretty much immune to caffeine.”

“Freaky. You can bring me some tea if it's not too much trouble.”

“It's not any trouble at all."

In the kitchen, Akira stands idly with his back pressed against the counter. He's patiently waiting for his coffee to brew and Ryuji's tea to steep when he spots his rental magazines. They stare at him from their place atop the dining table. Finding a place to stay is still high on his list of things to do. He can't stay with Ryuji forever. If things get down to the wire, he supposes he could temporarily move back into the attic above Le Blanc. It's not ideal, but it's an option.

His phone rings inside his pocket. A quick check of the caller ID has him groaning internally.

“Hello?” Akira answers.

“I've missed our weekly chess games you know,” comes a familiar voice from the other line. “Tokyo simply isn't the same without you in it.”

“Akechi,” Akira glances over his shoulder towards Ryuji's room. As far as he can tell, Ryuji's still in it. “You found the loan shark.”

“I've done you one better. I found the loan shark and the organization he works for.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Not at all.”

“Okay, so what's next?” Akira asks. He moves back into the kitchen to strain the tea leaves.

“For you it's simple. You'll go to court and testify,” Akechi explains. “You'll have to act as a witness for the threats made against you and your family. This case isn't really about that though. You need to understand that your parents are both victims and criminals.”

“I know they won't get off without some kind of punishment.”

“If they can help us get an arrest on some of those connected with the gambling ring, the court will show them leniency.”

“It's the only way for them to start over.”

Akechi lets out a deep sigh, “You mean it's the only way _you _can start over.”

“Yes, that's a huge part of it,” Akira admits. “I'm grateful for everything you've done to help me.”

“I feel like I've sabotaged my own happiness while doing so. No matter. I will find a way to cope without your daily presence in my life.”

“Akechi, I-”

“It's getting late. I merely wanted to give you an update on the situation here.”

“When will I have to come back?”

“It won't be for at least a few weeks,” says Akechi, audibly rolling his eyes. “Is that going to be an issue?”

“No,” Akira hisses in a hushed tone. “It's fine. Call me later with the details.”

He hangs up the phone, breathing nervously in an attempt to find his composure. He didn't expect Akechi to call him back so soon with results, but then again, it _is_ Akechi. He's got an unusual way of finding things out.

Akira pours some honey into Ryuji's tea and a small splash of milk into his coffee. He takes the steaming mugs back with him to the bedroom.

“I miss Cappy,” Ryuji complains as he enters the room.

“You can pick her up tomorrow,” He says, offering the tea to him.

“I jus' don't want her to think I abandoned her or somethin'.”

“I'm sure she doesn't think that.”

“Thanks for the tea,” Ryuji says, his mood changing from forlorn to sheepish. He glances up at Akira over the top of the steaming mug. “Will you sleep with me?”

Akira raises an eyebrow, but before he can respond, Ryuji goes on to say,

“I-I mean as in sleep-sleep and not like, you know, the other kind.”

“You mean in the bed with you?” Akira asks, seeking clarification. Ryuji nods, averting his eyes away.

“I sleep better with someone else beside me. If I can't have Cappy, then I thought you could sleep with me.”

“Ah, so I'm a replacement.”

“No! That's not-” Ryuji uses his tea as an excuse to get his words in order. He sips slowly at it and Akira can see the gears turning behind his dark brown eyes. “Even if Cappy was here, I'd want you to lay with me.”

It's not the response Akira was expecting. “Really?”

“For real. I sleep better when you're with me.”

“Me too.” And it's the truth. He's always had a bit of insomnia. He spent many late nights at the cafe, staring out at the sky as he waited to drift off. Around Ryuji, he finds himself able to fall asleep sooner and stay there without waking as often. “I'd like that.”

“Alright. Finish your coffee and get up here.”

Ryuji's bed is large enough for two people, and Akira can't help asking, “Why such a big bed?”

“Huh? Oh.” Ryuji shrugs his shoulders. “A lot of what's in this apartment came with it. The couple that used to live here rented it to me fully furnished. The bed was actually brand-new when I moved in.”

“Well that was convenient.”

“They're nice people. They come into town every so often to check on the place. They uh, well, it's two guys.”

“Really?” That's a plot twist he wasn't expecting. “What are they like?”

“Ahhh, well. One of them is this quiet pretty boy. He's got this horrible deadpan humor thing he does,” Ryuji explains, continuing to nurse his tea. “The other is even weirder. He's this big tough-looking guy, the sort you see running in gangs. Get this though, his personality is the opposite. He does all these cutesy arts and crafts. I'm pretty sure I've got an oven mitt that he knit himself. I uh, they're both real cool guys though. I mean, I can't knit anything.”

“You're sweet,” Akira says softly. “I'm sure he faces a lot of judgment for the things he enjoys doing.”

“Yeah. I know a bit about that.”

“Let's get some sleep.”

“Lay down with me,” Ryuji shifts to the far side of the bed, leaving an open space for Akira to lay down in. He runs his hands lightly over the sheets, over the place that Ryuji has made for him. He doesn't know how to explain how something so simple means the world to him, so he doesn't bring it up. There's a look on Ryuji's face that says he understands anyway.

Akira finishes off his coffee and sets his mug down next to Ryuji's. For the first time, he notices that they're part of a set. Each mug has one half of a heart on it. When the cups are put together they make a whole one. Without much thought to the action, he reaches over to align them.

“Those came with the apartment too,” Ryuji hastily explains. His cheeks tinged with color. “I tried to give them back one time, and they told me to hang onto them. That someday I was gonna have someone to share them with. I thought about throwin' them out but it felt kinda rude.”

“I like them,” Akira says, tracing the outline of the heart across the two mugs.

“They were right. Now I got someone I can share with.”

“You're killing me with all this sweet talk tonight,” His words cause the blush in Ryuji's face to spread to the back of his ears.

“C'mon man. Come to bed already!”

It takes some maneuvering to get them both situated. Ryuji is a side sleeper while Akira normally ends up flat on his back. The position ends up being ideal for snuggling. Ryuji plops his head over against Akira's chest and tosses an arm up over his stomach.

“Comfy?” He questions as he hooks an arm around Ryuji's shoulders.

“Yeah. I'm good.”

Akira uses his free arm to turn off the bedside lamp. For the first time in a long while, he finds himself drifting off almost immediately. His mind dances through some vague last-minute thoughts, and then he's asleep.

* * *

-Four Years Earlier-

Ryuji looks at himself in the mirror. Twisting and turning as he struggles to figure out how to tie the front of his yukata. He can't quite get it to look the way he wants, so he wanders out into the living room in search of his mother. “Ma, I need help.”

“Ryuji that looks great on you!” She exclaims as he walks in. It takes her no time at all to get it folded, tucked, and tied properly. “So what made you decide to wear a yukata this year?”

“Oh, it was Ann. She insisted that we all dress up since it'll be our last summer festival for a while.”

“Is she still thinking of moving to Tokyo with Shiho?”

“Yeah. She wants to try her hand at modeling,” Ryuji explains in a light tone. “I mean if she's gonna do it, Tokyo's the best place to go. I just wish-”

He isn't sure how to finish, so he doesn't.

“I know,” his mother says softly, placing her hands down on his shoulders to give them a light squeeze. “We'll save up so that you can visit her.”

“I don't know if I'll have time. The first season of college track is supposed to be the hardest.”

“You'll find some time. I know you will.”

“Thanks Ma.”

“You better get going,” She shoos him towards the door, practically shoving him out of it once he's got shoes on. “You're picking up Akira and Futaba, right?”

“Yeah, from Le Blanc.”

“Say hi to Sojiro for me. Have fun and text me to let me know what you're doing.”

“I will,” He tells her earnestly. For her sake, he always makes it a point to keep her in the loop. It's a simple thing, but he knows how much she appreciates it.

The walk from his house to Le Blanc isn't a long one. He goes a few blocks, and then he can see the coffee house come into view. Both Futaba and Akira are waiting outside of it, chatting with Sojiro while he takes a smoke break. Futaba looks adorable in her summer yukata. It's earthy green with a pattern of sakura blossoms. Likely a nod to her namesake as Sojiro's adopted daughter. Akira, on the other hand, is dressed in charcoal gray with a design of white cranes flying across the fabric.

Both of them look amazing. It makes Ryuji feel a little self-conscious about his own clothes. He had wanted to go with something simple. He chose a yukata in a burgundy color with a koi fish pattern across the back shoulders. Now he wonders if he might have chosen something too plain.

“You clean up nice,” Boss comments as Ryuji draws near. He gives the sneakers on Ryuji's feet a look of disapproval.

“I want to break them in before track starts,” He explains and Sojiro huffs in reply. “You two look amazin'!”

Akira especially, though Ryuji knows he's being biased.

It's only been a few weeks since his breakdown. The one where he admitted to himself, and to Shiho and Ann, that he had feelings for his best friend. It was not a pretty thing. Every time he thinks about it he feels embarrassed all over again. He hadn't meant to come uncorked in front of the two girls, but out of everyone in the world, he's glad it was them. Unsurprisingly they had known long before he had, though he had thought he was doing a pretty good job of hiding it. His whole perspective has changed now that he's come to terms with it.

With their encouragement, he's decided to tell Akira. 

The two of them have been on the fence with each other all summer long. They've been getting into an unusual amount of fights and spending long bouts of time apart. Ryuji's certain that he's the cause of it all. He has a tendency to run away from things that make him uncomfortable. Even now, as they head towards the festival, there's an air of tension between them.

“You look good too,” Akira says when they've walked a short way. He fusses with his bangs, trying to find a good way to settle them over the thick rims of his glasses. It's a nervous habit and Ryuji takes it as a sign that he needs to tread cautiously. Okay, cool, he can do that.

“I like your hairpin,” Ryuji tells Futaba. Her long hair is done up into a tight bun, secured with a beaded hairpin that matches her outfit. She smiles wryly at him, her cheeks coloring.

“Thanks,” She offers back, her blush darkening. “Makoto picked it out for me.”

“Ahhh, Makoto huh?”

Seems like everyone has someone they're interested in this summer. It's been a bit odd seeing some of his friends coupling up. So far it's left the group dynamic mostly intact. He wonders how long that will last.

As they're nearing the festival, they run across Ann and Shiho. The two of them join in with the group. The three girls rush on ahead. He listens to their idle chatter. They compliment one another on their outfits and talk about what they want to do at the festival. Ryuji drops back to walk beside Akira, hoping for their own conversation to start up. Instead, the two of them walk side by side, trapped in a tense ball of silence.

“So uh-”

“Ryuji I-”

They both pause, caught off guard by the other trying to speak.

“You first,” Ryuji offers, opening the floor for Akira.

“After the festival is over, do you want to stay the night at Le Blanc?” Akira asks. It's an unexpected offer. “If you have other plans, I understand.”

“No, I don't. I'd actually really like that.”

“Yeah?”

“For real, man. Yeah!” Ryuji enthuses and just like that, the awkwardness between them pops like a bubble. Within a few minutes, they're talking and laughing like they always do. Ryuji catches Ann glancing back at them a few times, her expression full of approval. Ryuji's beginning to think that his plan won't turn out to be such a disaster after all.

They find Makoto, Haru, and Yusuke waiting by the entrance. Now that the whole group has assembled they can decide what activities to do. Visiting the food booths is high on everyone's list. So they all eat an early dinner together and then move on in search of other forms of entertainment. They take a visit to the shrine, stop to watch some traditional dancing, and then head to the carnival area to try their luck at some games.

“You're lookin' pretty hard at those goldfish,” Ryuji tells Akira. He's been standing in front of the goldfish scooping game for some time. Though hasn't tried to play. He merely stares down into the water.

“They say that goldfish don't actually do all that well in bowls,” Akira says offhand. His eyes remain transfixed. “From a biological standpoint, that makes sense. They're meant to live in large bodies of water.”

“Yeah, I've thought about that too. No one can ever keep a fish for very long in a bowl.”

“I wonder if people are like that too. If they're not meant to stay in one small place for their entire lives.”

“Depends on the person I guess,” Ryuji furrows his eyebrows. This conversation sounds like it's intended to be quite serious, although he's lost on what it is they're actually talking about.

“I read something somewhere that goldfish are a social species. They don't do well when they're kept alone.”

“For real? I thought they had like, three-second memories or somethin'.”

“It's closer to a few months. They can be trained too. It's sort of cool.”

“Yeah, man, totally,” Ryuji says with a smile. “You know all this neat stuff about them. Have you thought of keeping one as a pet?”

“Someday,” Akira muses. “I don't think I'm going to have a lot of time for a fish.”

“When we start college you mean.”

“... Yes.”

“Well like, even knowin' all that stuff, I can't imagine they're that demandin',” Ryuji says. He leans over to look down at the small fish as they swim. “They're more orange than gold.”

“Come on, we should catch up with the others,” Akira abruptly says. He tears himself away from the booth and in his haste, he half bumps into Ryuji, causing them both to stagger. Ryuji almost falls over his own feet, but Akira grabs hold of his shoulders to stop him. Their eyes meet and for a few heart-racing moments, all they can do is stare at one another. “Ryuji, I-”

Ryuji blinks hard as a large drop of water lands on his forehead. It's followed by several more and within moments the sky has opened up to a sudden downpour of rain.

“Damn,” Ryuji exclaims, standing himself back upright. He throws a hand up over his eyes to try to see through the deluge. There's no sight of their friends anywhere. “C'mon. We gotta get out of this mess.”

The two of them stick close together as they run for cover. They're not the only ones, other festival goers are making a break for it. Ryuji can't help feeling a little frustrated. The weather report didn't say anything about rain, he watched it all week long to be sure. He glances over his shoulder to complain about it to Akira, only to find that he's disappeared.

Ryuji curses under his breath and doubles back the way he came. His clothes are completely soaked through, and despite the warm summer weather, he's shivering.

“Akira?” He calls, trying to be heard over the loud roar of the storm. He searches for a while, wandering around the festival grounds in a near daze. Everything has been abandoned and it looks like a ghost town. Ryuji is about to give up and go home when he finally spots a mess of black hair. Akira has taken shelter inside an old bus stop. It's no more than a rundown shack with a leaky roof and a single bench, but it'll do for now. Ryuji hurries over to it. “Nice place ya got here.”

“Ryuji,” Akira blinks at him in surprise from his seat on the bench. He's drying the water off the lenses of his glasses, dabbing at them with a dry section of his yukata. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lose you like that.”

“It's cool man. It was pretty chaotic. Can I sit?”

“Sure.”

Akira slides to the side to make room for him. He plops himself down and begins a sad attempt at wringing the moisture out of his clothes. Even his sneakers are full of water. It sloshes unpleasantly between his toes.

“Ugh, this is such a pain in the ass. Why'd it have to rain?” Ryuji bemoans, leaning to rest his back against the wall. “I wanted to spend time with Ann and Shiho. They're gonna be leavin' soon.”

“Me too,” Akira says and Ryuji can't figure out the tone of his words. It sounds less like he's agreeing and more like he's stating a fact. “Yusuke is also moving to Tokyo. His mother has an art connection there.”

“What?! Why didn't he say anything?!”

“He had planned to. It was a very recent decision.”

“Jeeze, who's next? Makoto? I mean her sister lives there, so it's a pretty high chance,” Ryuji shakes his head in disbelief. “Anyone else I need to know about?”

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he regrets them. Akira's expression has become pained, and he turns his body to face away. Startled by the strong reaction, Ryuji reaches out to set a gentle hand on his friend's back. His shoulders are trembling, though it could be a chill from his soaked clothes.

“Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said about Makoto. She probably won't go anywhere,” Ryuji soothes, trying to patch up his mistake. “We can go to visit Ann 'n Shiho 'n Yusuke. I know we have college stuff comin' up, but we'll make time for it. I was gonna get a part-time job, so money won't be an issue either.”

“You're right,” Akira says flatly. He clears his throat, and he's back to normal. Or whatever his new normal is, he's been different since the beginning of summer. Quiet, moody, closed off. Ryuji's never seen him like this before and he doesn't know how to navigate it. He's horrible when it comes to dealing with changes in what he's come to know as routine. “Let's go back to Le Blanc. I'm sure the others will look for us there.”

The streets are clear as they race towards the cafe. Most of the festival-goers have returned home or taken up shelter somewhere else. There's little chance of them getting separated this time.

Akira uses his spare key to let them in. It's warm inside, if a bit stuffy, but dry. They shed out of their yukata, dropping them in a sopping heap in the doorway. Ryuji tries not to be weird about the fact that they're both down to just their boxers.

_Don't look. _He reminds himself. They're still bros, even if Ryuji decides to go through with his confession. He's already prepared for his feelings to be one-sided. He hopes they can still have a friendship after. Not knowing if things will be okay is doing a number on his courage. 

“-Ryuji,” Akira says his name sharply, breaking him out of his daze. “I've been calling you. Are you okay?”

“Fine man,” He insists, making a sweeping motion with his arms towards the staircase. “Let's go. I'm cold.”

The two of them head up to the attic. Akira unearths some clean towels and loans Ryuji some clothes to wear. There's nothing he can do about his wet boxers, he can feel them soaking the fabric of his borrowed sweats. They might be best friends, but there are some articles of clothing you just don't share with each other.

“I got a text from Ann,” Akira reports as he pulls a shirt on over his head. He stares down at his phone, mouthing the words as he reads them. “I guess they all went back to her place.”

“I'm kinda jealous. They're probably gonna have a big party.”

“Me too, but that's okay. We'll find something to do.”

Something turns out to be nothing. Ten minutes after they get started on a new video game, the power goes out.

“I'll get some candles,” Akira sighs, his voice almost despondent. There's some shuffling as he makes his way through the dark. Ryuji's scared he'll fall down the stairs, so he pulls out his phone and shines it towards them. “Very nice. Thank you.”

He goes down and comes back with a mismatched collection of candles. Most of them are the long white stick kind. He pushes them down into holders and lights them, placing them around the room to spread the glow. The others are fat and stumpy scented candles.

“I think we should go with pumpkin pie lane,” Ryuji jokes, holding up the largest of the scented ones. “Although marigold fields was a close second.”

Akira doesn't so much as smile. He takes the pumpkin candle from Ryuji and lights it, setting it down on the floor between them.

“Hey... What is it?”

“What's what?” Akira scowls. He pulls his legs up to his chest and hugs his arms around them. “I'm mad about the festival, that's all.”

“Are you sure? You've been kinda weird since before the rain 'n all.”

“I'm fine. Drop it.”

Ryuji's heart sinks a bit inside his chest. He doesn't like the tone Akira's using with him, and he certainly doesn't like the mood he's in. The thought of being trapped in Le Blanc all night with him sulking does not sound like his idea of a good time. He could call his mom to pick him up. Although he would prefer that she wasn't out in the rain driving, even if it is only a short way. He could walk, but that would result in getting soaked again.

“I'm sorry,” Akira says offhand, so quiet that Ryuji almost misses it. “I know I'm not acting like myself.”

“It's okay. I'm kinda worried though,” Ryuji sighs. “Whatever it is, man, we'll figure it out.”

“It's not something we can figure out.”

“Why not?”

“It just isn't,” Akira's jaw clenches as he turns his face away. “I'm going to get a bottle of water. Do you want one?”

“Yeah.”

Akira picks up one of the candlesticks to light his way downstairs. Ryuji remains where he is, staring into the flames of the pumpkin candle. It smells pleasant, a soothing scent that doesn't match the mood. He should have gone with marigold fields after all.

Akira returns with the water and offers Ryuji his bottle. The two of them sit in silence, save for the occasional pop of plastic or the drag of the lid against the bottle threads.

Ryuji doesn't know how long they sit there like that. It's long enough that their candles begin burning out. The sticks have melted down to pathetic globby piles of wax. One by one they start losing their flame, making the room darker and darker. Neither Akira nor Ryuji move to stop them. When the last stick goes out, Ryuji does the pumpkin candle a favor and blows it out too.

“We gonna sit in the dark like this?” Ryuji asks a short time later. He earns a vague hum in reply. “Akira, please. I can't stand this.”

“I don't have anything to say,” Akira mumbles. Ryuji's eyes have adjusted to the darkness enough to see outlines. Akira's laid down on his side with his back to him.

“Then just listen,” Ryuji presses. He crawls over to sit by Akira's side and it causes the other boy to tense up. “I don't know what the hell is wrong with you 'n I don't really care. I've had somethin' to say to you all day, actually all week, no-... For a real long time.”

“Go on,” Akira tells him in a soft voice. “I'm listening.”

“You are-” He can't get the words out, his brain throws up an immediate block. He tries several times, opening and closing his mouth, starting to speak and then stopping. It feels like his throat is closing up. Though he at least recognizes that it's anxiety more than an actual physical problem. Even Akira seems a bit alarmed by his sudden silence. He glances over his shoulder at him.

“Ryuji?”

“I'm tryin'.”

Maybe he can hear the panic in Ryuji's voice, or maybe he's just trying to be nice. Akira sits up and turns his body so that they're facing one another.  
  
He reaches between them to take hold of Ryuji's hands and his touch is electrifying. Everything else fades away and all Ryuji can focus on is the place where they're connected. He turns his hands over so that their palms are pressed together. Akira's fingers snake down to stroke lightly over his wrists, where his pulse is racing. It's soothing and Ryuji melts into the feeling.

“You can tell me anything,” Akira insists in a gentle voice.

“This is something pretty big,” Ryuji explains. He's not sure he's expressing the gravity of it properly. “You may not want to hang out with me anymore afterward.”

“Is it something bad?”

“Depends on how you look at it.”

“Okay,” Akira takes a deep breath. He squeezes Ryuji's hands and shifts forward so that their knees are touching. “You're my best friend, Ryuji. I won't think any less of you, no matter what it is.”

Ryuji wants so badly to believe that. Everything is riding on Akira's being able to accept him. Even if his feelings aren't returned, all he wants is to be honest about them. Whatever there is after that, he'll handle it as it comes.

“I like you,” Ryuji begins in a trembling voice. It matches the subtle shaking of his hands.

“I like you too,” Akira says slowly, sounding a bit confused. “We're friends. Best friends.”

“No, man. I need you to listen to what I'm saying. I _like_ you.”

“... I'm sorry, I don't understand.”

Ryuji growls in frustration and tries to pull his hands away. Akira holds fast to them.

“I'm in love with you,” Ryuji tries again, hoping that if he uses a different word it might finally make things clear. Apparently it works, because he can feel Akira's hands go slack around his own. “I'm sorry. I don't know how or why it happened. I've never had an interest in men before, at least not that I know of.”

“Ryuji-”

“Please, let me finish. I've been holdin' on to this for a long time. I have to finish.”

“Okay,” Akira agrees weakly. His hands have retreated back into his own lap, leaving Ryuji's feeling cold and empty.

“You're my best friend. There's no one in this world that I connect to the way I do with you,” he says in a rush. He knows he's speaking too quickly, he can't help it, his mind is rushed with panic. The way Akira's reacting doesn't bode well, but there's no stopping now. “You've always been there for me. Back when my dad was still around, you used to always patch me up. Remember? 'N after he left, you helped me deal with my anger issues. When I joined the track team, you encouraged me and trained with me, even though you weren't on the team.”

“It's like,” Ryuji takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He's moved on to full body trembling. “I get why Ann and Shiho are together. They understand each other better than anyone else. N-Not that I'm expectin' anything here. I'm not askin' you out or wantin' you to suddenly decide to go out with me. I just needed you to know-”

“Stop.” Akira's voice is sharp and clipped. He stands up and moves to sit on the bed, putting distance between them. Ryuji's chest aches, a physical pain that he can hardly stand. “I can't.”

“I know,” Ryuji whispers. His eyes sting, but he refuses to let himself cry over this. He's already gotten too emotional as it is and all it's done is push Akira away. “I'm gonna go.”

He rises to his feet and Akira doesn't make any move to stop him. Using his phone to guide his way through the darkness, he goes downstairs. At the bottom of the staircase, he stops to take a few deep breaths, hoping it might calm him down. It doesn't. Pain blooms inside him like spilled ink. It's all-encompassing as it spreads throughout his body. Why did he listen to Ann? He knew better. He should have kept his mouth shut. He should have-

“Don't go,” Akira's voice from the landing. Ryuji glances up at him, barely able to make out his features. He can't tell what kind of expression he has. “Ryuji, don't go.”

“I can't stay,” He insists, breaking away to continue on to the door. He's almost there when Akira's body crashes into his from behind. It knocks both of them to the floor. “What the hell, man?! What was that for-”

He doesn't get a chance to finish his sentence. Akira's lips are on his, hot and wet and insistent. Ryuji closes his eyes and leans into it. The tension melts out of his body, leaving him boneless and weak on the floor. His lips part in an attempt to take in some air. He's holding his breath, though he's not sure why.

“Breathe,” Akira commands of him, and he does. They kiss again and this time he feels the cautious press of a tongue. He reopens his mouth, an uncertain invitation. It's a slow, leisurely slide of Akira's tongue against his own. A soft noise rumbles at the back of his throat. He isn't sure what he's supposed to do, so he holds still and allows Akira to take the lead. He's dizzy drunk on the sensation until Akira pulls away from him. “Ryuji, you have to breathe.”

“I don't think I remember how,” He mumbles. All his limbs are tingling with pleasure and he continues to lay on the floor in a useless heap.

“Let's go up,” Akira suggests, moving off of him. He offers Ryuji a hand and helps to pull him to his feet.

“Why?” Ryuji asks, dumbstruck by the suggestion. He'd much rather lay back down on the floor and go back to kissing.

Akira doesn't clarify, but he does pull his shirt off over his head. He swings it up over one of his shoulders and then makes for the stairs. The air inside the cafe is becoming warm. Without power, there's been no AC. It's still hot outside, even with the storm. Losing a few layers sounds like a good idea. As soon as they make it to the top of the stairs, Ryuji skins out of his shirt too.

He's about to ask what's next when he gets his answer.

“Let's do it,” Akira suggests, already halfway out of his pants. Ryuji stares at him dumbly, distracted by both the suggested course of action and the loss of his friend's clothes. Bereft of his final layer, Akira moves over to grab hold of Ryuji by the shoulders. He presses his body against him and grinds their hips together. A soft noise makes it out of Ryuji's chest and his body tenses with shock. He takes a single step back, trying to put some distance between them.  
  
There are things Ryuji needs to know before they dive in.

“Are you sure?” He asks in a serious voice. “You aren't going to regret it?”

“Are you?” Akira questions.

“No, but that isn't what I asked.”

“I want this. I want you.”

“You mean that?” Ryuji asks, because it honestly sounds too good to be true.

“I do,” This time Akira's voice is rough with emotion. Ryuji pulls back some to look him in the eye. There's a galaxy of emotions, it's impossible to pick one out, not that he has much of a mind to try. “I'm sorry for how I acted before. It shocked me a bit. I didn't know you felt that way.”

“So it's okay?”

“Yes, it's more than okay.”

Ryuji's throat feels thick and no matter how many times he tries to swallow the feeling won't go away. Akira pulls him over to the bed and presses him down onto it. They go back to kissing and this time Ryuji does his best to remember to breathe. He cups a hand around the back of Akira's neck, fingers gripping at his dark curls of hair. His other hand falls down to Akira's waist, needing something else to hold onto.

“I love you,” He tells him again when they've broken apart for a brief respite.

“I know,” Akira says, his voice gentle and warm.

“I want you.”

“I'm right here.”

They press close together, laying on a bed that's really only intended for a single person. Ryuji takes a moment to absorb it all. The fevered heat of their skin. The building pleasure inside his body. The way Akira tastes and smells and sounds. He records it all to memory, determined to never forget a single thing about this moment. It's overwhelming but good. He can barely see beyond the heavy drops of moisture forming inside his eyes.

This is more than he could have expected, more than he dared wish for.

It's perfect.

* * *

Ryuji wakes the next morning to the smell of coffee. He's alone in bed, but the smell wafting up the stairs tells him that Akira is nearby. He checks the time, a few hours before the cafe is due to open. Sojiro will be rolling in shortly, meaning he needs to get up. He stretches his arms over his head and rolls off the mattress. Akira took care of the cleanup the night before, all he has to do is tuck himself back into his borrowed clothes.

He scrubs a hand through his hair as he staggers downstairs, trying to put the spikes back into some semblance of order. There's a cup of coffee and a plate of curry set out for him. He knows it's his by the light color of the drink, it's had milk and a heavy dose of sugar added to it. Sipping happily between bites of breakfast, he wonders where Akira has gone. Oh well. He should be back shortly. At least that's what Ryuji thinks, up until a good hour and a half passes.

He cleans up the dishes and then returns to the attic to wait. Twenty more minutes go by and then the bell above the door rings. He springs to his feet and clambers down the stairs. Instead of Akira, he's met by a very startled Sojiro.

“What are you doing here?” Boss asks, his eyebrows raised high on his forehead.

“I spent the night after the festival,” Ryuji explains, trying not to be too smug about it. Sojiro would never guess what the two of them got up to in the night. “Why? Where's Akira?”

Sojiro places his hands on his hips, looking beyond dumbfounded, “Well I imagine he's at the station.”

“The station.”

“Yeah, you know, the train station.”

A sinking feeling settles itself low inside Ryuji's stomach. “Why would he be there...?”

“He didn't tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“Hoo boy,” Sojiro exhales and motions for Ryuji to sit down in one of the booths. He stays where he is, hoping to force a quick answer out of the older man. “I thought he would have told you. He came by this morning to pick up his things-”

“Where is he?” Ryuji snaps. “Spit it out already!”

“He leaves today to move to Tokyo.”

“Tokyo?”

“I'm sure there's a good reason for why he didn't tell-”

Ryuji doesn't allow Boss to finish. He grabs his shoes, shoves his feet down into them, and leaves. He runs the entire way to Ann's house, until his chest burns and his legs feel wobbly. When he gets there, he knocks three times on the door and waits for her to answer.

“Ryuji?” Her expression is startled as she opens the door. He surges inside and the spins around to face her.

“You knew,” He hisses at her.

Her voice is soft as she says, “Yes, I knew.”

“And you didn't think to tell me?!”

“He asked me not to.”

“What the hell, Ann?!” He slams his fist against a nearby door frame. It sends a shock wave of pain up his arm, but he mostly ignores it. “Why would you encourage me to tell him how I felt if he was just going to leave?!”

“Because he needed to know,” Ann insists, reaching towards him. He steps away from her, holding up a hand to stop her attempts to comfort him. “He needed to know and you needed to tell him.

“I feel so played,” Ryuji grits out. The anger is ebbing away from his body, leaving behind a cold and bitter sadness. “I can't believe you would do that to me. Both of you.”

“We didn't plan for it to go like this.”

“Right. Sure you didn't.”

“Ryuji, please,” Ann's voice wavers some. She tries again to step towards him. This time he steps around her and moves towards the door. She calls out for him to come back, but he ignores her.

His mother has left for work by the time he arrives home. It's really for the best, he's not sure if he would be able to put a lid on his current overflow of emotions. Once he's tucked away inside his room, he pulls out his phone and dials Akira's number.

The number you have called is not in service-

Shock floods his veins. The number had worked the day before. Ryuji had called it to confirm their plans for the festival. He dials it, again and again, listening to the automated voice each time. He keeps doing it until reality sets in. Once that happens, all of his emotions hit him at once, They leave him a crumpled mess on the floor.

* * *

-Present Day-

“Are you alright?” Akira asks. Ryuji is sitting down at the end of the bed, his face resting inside his hands. “Did you have another nightmare?”

“Kinda,” Ryuji admits, his voice watery with emotion.

“Can I sit with you?” Akira wonders. Ryuji nods, so he moves down beside him, placing a gentle hand at the center of his back. Ryuji's shoulders are incredibly tense. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“I'm here if you change your mind,” Akira tells him in a gentle tone. He's not sure what's going on, but it doesn't look good. The two of them stay up for a while, Akira moving his hand over Ryuji's back in an attempt to get him to relax.  
  
Eventually, Ryuji resigns himself to going back to bed. They lay down as they had before, but Akira can feel how tightly wound his body is. He wishes he knew what was wrong so that he could fix it. They don't end up sleeping and once the sun comes up, they don't see the point in continuing to try.  
  
It feels like the beginning of something bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Jam: Happier - Marshmello & Bastille
> 
> The couple that Ryuji is renting his apartment from is Yu and Kanji from P4. I was pretty vague but maybe someone caught it!


End file.
